Pregnant over 40

[Downtherabbithole83]

I’m currently 6 weeks pregnant and am 41. Very aware of all the extra risks this brings and as my last pregnancy (at 39) all went wrong at the 12 week scan when they discovered a number of issues, I’m feel a little stressed by the next couple of months.

Just looking to see if there are many other older mums on here?

Good thanks. I've only got 7 weeks to go untill baby boy will be here, the time has flown by as I didn't find out till I was 17 weeks. I'm both excited and terrified at starting all over again.

7 weeks! Wow! How exciting

Counting the weeks and slowly becoming a shopaholic. We have started buying baby things. How are you doing @Downtherabbithole83 ?

I’m fine, over 17 weeks now. I have my next scan scheduled in two weeks. I feel great, very energetic (got back to my exercise routine, just avoiding extra heavy weights) and I’ve felt the first movements this week. Bought myself two simple, Twiggy-style mini wool dresses that hide the bump and can be worn when I’m done with pregnancies. I’m very happy with them.

17 weeks today - still feeling sick and exhausted. Waiting for the burst of energy that I got with my other two but it doesn’t seem to be coming! I’m also HUGE already which is amusing everyone at work so I’ve just given into it.

Ive told my other half that he can start buying stuff after the 20 week scan!

Hello from a very scared first time 41 year old. 19 weeks currently. Never wanted kids had some sort of wobble at 40 which led to me thinking I may want them. Not having a great pregnancy but ready for the next chapter of my life.

Welcome! Hope you’re doing okay - pregnancy is so weird like that: so excited and so terrified all at the same time.

Are you having a crap time with the pregnancy itself or mostly the anxiety around it?

I have major anxiety about now I will cope. I am married but my husband leaves for work at 5am and isn't home till 6.30/7pm. I work full time with hour commute each way 2 days of the week. Also have 2 cocker spaniels which need a good hour walk twice a day. I will no doubt have to reduce hours at work to cope as I am determined not to be one of those people that ditches their beloved dogs for a baby. Thankfully I have found some childcare in the form of childminder as most I contacted had a waiting list.

Aside from the above, 19 weeks, still being sick. Getting headaches a few times a week, and I really haven't enjoyed it what I think are the movements. Not to mention the extremely painful boobs and my sciatica has flared up badly.

Hoping it's all worth it in the end, but I can't see me doing it again or gushing about being pregnant. I still haven't told loads of people as they want to congratulate me and I just don't feel over the moon about it. I do realise I am lucky to be in this position and many others aren't so lucky, but I am struggling :(

I'm 45 and 7 weeks pregnant through IVF. This is our first pregnancy after many years of trying so we are grateful for every week that passes successfully. Does anyone else find this first trimester lovely? No one ever warned me how lonely it would feel as we are not telling anyone so I've become a recluse. Wishing everyone a healthy pregnancy 😍

Congratulations.

I am struggling with pregnancy i can relate to the lonely feeling, your hormones are all over, I felt horrendous I had to take a few days sick at work due to being poorly and I couldn't tell a soul. People call you boring for not drinking - for me it was actually the part where I felt like I needed everyone to know so they understood why I was ill, feeling down etc.

Congrats @Syd79 I completely agree on the loneliness - I hated the feeling of effectively lying to my friends, it’s so strange. Then I miscarried so the lie continued. I wonder if it’s being older too, the majority of my friends are either child free or have much older children, so no one has any thought of what reasons for not being myself could be really.

How are you doing ladies?

I had my halfway scan last week and everything looks good and is going well. It’s a girl and we are having rounds of consultations with DC over the name.

She’s very active, I could feel the movements already at 17 weeks but now my family can also feel them through the belly.

edit: typo

Still not enjoying it 22 weeks now. Headaches most days and crippling pain in my belly when walking the dogs like a permanent stitch :( least I am more than half way.

I’m really sorry to hear that! I have SPD but surprisingly exercising helps with it. Although my pelvis makes creaking noises when I do strength training, I feel better afterwards and can take my legs on and off the bed without pain.

Can the headache be caused by prenatal vitamins? This happened to me when I took them daily.

Hello ladies, haven't posted in a while but today I gave birth at 43, to my tiny girl, 5 days late weighing 6lb 10oz!

My waters broke at 4.45am, no real contractions until about 7.30, checked at 9.30 and was 4cms and she was born in the birthing pool at 10.48am!

Wishing you all well for the rest of your journeys and healthy happy babies 😊

@HotCrossBunnyInTheOven what wonderful news, congratulations!

Congratulations @HotCrossBunnyInTheOven!

Congratulations @HotCrossBunnyInTheOven ! Fantastic news. Hope you are both doing great.

@HotCrossBunnyInTheOven congratulations! I'm also 43 and currently 36 weeks 4days. Due 26th November. Were your drs ok with you going over your due date ? Mine keep pushing for an induction on my due date, based purely on age. I'd prefer baby to come when ready.

Thank you for the lovely congratulations 😊

@Sab1981 when I was having the growth scans and I had my appointments after, one of the consultants I saw was very set on "you will have this baby in hospital and we will induce you at 40 weeks"

I put her straight and told her there are no risk factors other than my age and that alone is no reason to induce. The others I saw were fine with it! I was approved for a homebirth by the midwives too.

You just have to be forceful with some of the people you come across. Let them know you know the risks and have done your own research and are happy with your decision to let baby come in their own time.
Had this been my first I'd most probably have just gone along with whatever they said but luckily I've had plenty of practice now 😂

This is also my experience. My region (in Sweden healthcare is decentralised to the region/county level and the standard of care depends heavily on where you live) is very much against home birth and the standard practice is to scaremonger women against choosing birth outside hospital. When I had my younger DC my midwife started rolling out all that stuff at me and I just politely asked her to back up those claims with data (I’m a statistician). She backed off and supported me from then on.

I plan to have the current one at home too, if everything goes well. The midwives that delivered my DC have already given me a yes provided I’m not classed high risk out of a sudden. So far I’m being processed as low risk, I’ve had only one appointment so far and two standard scans. I’ve not even qualified for a free NIPT.

This is my 3rd, got 'forced' to induce with my 1st at 39weeks 3 days purely down to 1 urine sample that day that had protein. Seriously regret it. My son was born naturally at 40w 3 days, sooo much better ! This time I'm definitely doing what I feel is right.. they wanted to induce at 39weeks originally! I will probably go to 41weeks then give in purely due to possible slight risk of placenta deteriorating in over 40s.

I am being told I need to be induced but at 40 weeks. Why was it so much worse? I've heard it can be more painful. It's my first and I am terrified of the whole experience.

Vhp83 worse due to how drawn out it was with the pain..for not much gain !! Pessary at 8pm Tuesday, pain started at 6am Wednesday went on all of Wednesday till 10pm then stopped and only got to 2cm dialated ! But I had no pain relief. Luckily by 9:30am Thursday I was 3cm so they broke my waters. Then baby was here by 11am ! So last bit was very intense but quick..

Thank you for replying, the stories I am reading are putting me off. I am really scared :(