I want a baby but my boyfriend doesn't

[Mammytothree]

I have 3 older and young teenage children to my ex. Boyfriend has 2 older teenage children to his ex. We have known each other for 6 months and recently moved in together. I have started to feel broody which I am surprised at myself I would love one baby with my boyfriend but he has said that is one thing he doesn't want to give me infact he has booked himself into having the snip I feel so upset especially as my ex had the snip just after a give birth to our 3rd baby because he didn't want more childen. My boyfriend has said several times to me "I don't want to give you a baby" "if you are pregnant I want you to have an abortion" I'm 40 he is 48

@Mammytothree He sounds very sensible that if he is clear he doesn't want more children he is taking appropriate responsibility for preventing that. You do not want to become pregnant with a partner who strongly feels they do not want any more children.

Its early in the relationship, so its really up to you to decide if having more children is important to you - if it is I would look for a partner who is also open to having more children.

You have 5 children between you and it's a short relationship.

Honestly he sounds very sensible.

You don't have to have children with a partner for it to be a committed long term relationship.

I don't blame him tbh.

If you want a baby then you'll have to leave him and find someone else.

You know being broody doesn't mean you have to act on it op and why would you want to have a baby with someone you've been with for only 6 months?

He sounds incredibly sensible. He doesn’t want any more children. Most people wouldn’t at the age of 48.

So that means you won't be having a baby, then. Just "wanting one" is really not a good enough reason, let alone all the other circles you list, OP.

Glad one of you is sensible.

He seems eminently sensible. He's taking appropriate sleeps and is being very clear with you.

You need to decide if this is something you can accept and together move forward in the relationship or if you want to end what sounds like an otherwise good relationship over this issue?

You've hardly been together for 5 minutes, you both already have older children from previous relationships and given your ages, I'd say he's being incredibly sensible.

You need to either accept that if you stay with him, you will not have another child, or end the relationship.

So you won’t be having a baby then.

He is very sensible.

He is too old to be having more children and you haven’t been together long enough.

You’ve known each other for 6 months and now have moved in together and you want a baby ?
Are you mad??

Are you looking for advice on how to move past being broody?

Your ex having the snip has nothing to do with him having it. If men don’t want to have more kids the snip is the right choice.

Let’s be honest, would another child with someone you don’t know as a partner that well be a good idea?

5 kids between you
been together 5 minutes
both in 40s
I suggest you get a hamster and give your head a wobble

Your broodiness is likely to be linked to your age. It is purely hormonal and illogical.

You need to use your brain to override these feelings.

You are not in a position to have another child - you do not have a stable relationship, you already have many children between you that it is your TOP priority to care for and provide a stable home for.

Focus on helping your children to cope with this new person that you have moved into their home so recently (and in my opinion, prematurely).

I thought this too.

Your boyfriend has some common sense, at least one of you has.
5 kids between you, only together 6 months and you want a baby?

This. Honestly, OP, if you’ve only known one another six months and have already started living together, where are all your older children? Have you forced them into living with someone you barely know, regardless of their feelings? And with his children?

You've got 5 between already.

You are both in your 40s.

You've only know each other a little while

He sounds very sensible.

You're moving mad
6 months with 5 children involved and you're already living together and want another baby ??

You need to chill

At 48 and having done it all before I really don't blame him for not wanting a baby. If he's getting the snip you are very unlikely to be able to change his mind here OP. I think you need to decide if this is a deal breaker for you.

You moved a guy you've known 6 months in with your young teenage children? You clearly aren't making good choices, despite your age, so at least he has the good sense to take matters into his own hands.

He sounds sensible! You hardly know him OP. I think you need to reflect on your broodiness rather than feeling you have to act on it. As pp said it could be that feeling of being in your 40’s & ‘last chance saloon’ that’s driving it.

How did you get to 40 with so little sense - give your head a wobble!

Just because you feel it doesn't mean you have to act on it.

Head wobble and then get some more sensible ideas.

You're getting a hard time here OP.

But seriously, having a baby with a man that doesn't want one, when you have 5 between you already and you haven't been together long is a recipe for disaster.
Sorry