TTC, DH is 41 and has been an on and off smoker

[sunshineoverthesea]

We are trying for our third and I am worried about risks due to DH's smoking, it hasn't bothered me in the past, my dad smoked at had 5 healthy kids between the ages of 25 and 39 but as my DH is over 40 I feel apprehensive especially since I am now 37.

He has always stopped when I was pregnant and when we had newborns but his work is demanding and he smokes around 5 a day, he knows its bad, taboo, not healthy, tried patches, vapes etc but always end up with cold sores for some reason when he smokes he doesn't get cold sores, random.

Anyways, I'm not asking you to tell me to ask him to stop I know that already, what I want to know is if smokers past a certain age are still able to have healthy babies, that's all pregnant women/expecting couple want at the end of the day....

Hey hun. I’m 39 and when I conceived my partner was 42. I’m due to give birth a month before I turn 40. I fell pregnant whilst we were being careful Etc so it does happen. I think it’s more if the woman smokes although I could be wrong. I gave up about 2 years ago

Thank you for responding. Is this your first?

Hey 👋 my mum n partner are both smokers and she was 35 when she had her last baby, i have 6 siblings and she and partner smoked through all 7 pregnancies, she has only miscarried once, im not saying oh crack on n smoke in pregnancy just trying to reassure you that it doesn’t always mean the worst xx

Health wise was everyone ok?

She is very lucky to have healthy kids - so risky though.

I don't think smoking directly affects sperm in that way. Obviously it's not good for him overall but no reason why you can't conceive a healthy baby.

Yea we age between 35 and 13, my little brother (18) has high functioning autism but otherwise no health issues, none of us even have allergies 🤷🏻‍♀️ guess she/we were lucky, and i would say she was/is a heavy smoker 20+ a day xx

Do you think the autism was related to the smoking or is that more genetic?

Yeah hun it’s my first x

Genetic, my nephew is also autistic and so is my daughter and son, my mum herself although never been diagnosed has said she thinks looking back and knowing the signs now says she feels she is also autistic xx

Fifty years ago almost all men smoked and so did most women. They still had lots of children - otherwise we wouldn't be here. 😂

Thank you for sharing. Out of interest what are the signs she now sees? I know this is another thread really but while you’re here!

@sunshineoverthesea my DH has smoked since he was a teenager and we've got a 20mo. DH was 53 when he was born

Thank you for sharing. What is your age if you don’t mind me asking and we’re there any complications?

My grandad was a heavy smoker and my grandmother had 12 kids over 20 years.

We’re they all ok?

My dad smoked 40 per day and had 4 healthy kids we are now aged 36-46 with kids of our own/on the way.
My husband smoked until his mid 30s when we started TTC and we discovered he had very low sperm quality/count but his brother has the same and has never smoked so it's not necessarily related.
I am sure there are thousands of smokers that conceive healthy babies all the time.

I was 36 when I had him and I'm a heavy smoker myself and there were no complications at all.

It's a very unhealthy habit for children to grow up around so I feel like if he's not selfless enough to quit then maybe a third child isn't a good idea?
It really is awful for babies and increases the risk of sids. It's about the second hand smoke and breathing around them after having a cigarette.
Just because people did it in the 50s doesn't mean it's ok and they knew no better then and were actually told about benefits of smoking which we now know are false.

He tried then he gets multiple cold sores/ulcers and is in pain from it whenever he has stopped smoking. I agree with you but not like he hasn’t tried. He has been drs about the sores but they haven’t helped.

He smokes outside and when the kids are not around I.e while he’s at work or after they’re in bed.

He doesn’t drink, neither do I, he goes to the gym, fit and healthy, perhaps fitter than me tbh and I haven’t smoke or drank in my 30 odd years.

How old was your dad when he has his children if you don’t mind me asking?

Serious question - Why try for a third given your concerns? you have two children already. If you are this worried, why try?

To be honest, the cold sore thing sounds like an excuse.

It’s not an excuse I’m just asking a question because I wondered. I will show him these responses anyways and hopefully he can get some help. He actually hates smoking, if he loved it that much he’d be chain smoking not limiting himself to 5 or less a day.

And we’ve been together for over 10 years, I’ve seen what happens to him when he has ulcers, he can’t eat, is miserable and the last thing he will want to do then is make love 😂. Lose lose for me I guess.

I guess stress and anxiety does seem to cause mouth ulcers.

To be honest, I can't see how him smoking 5 cigs a day will stop you getting pregnant.

There's another way to look at it.
If he's less stressed then maybe his sperm will be healthier.

You are 37, you conceived 2 already unaided.

There's no reason to think you won't conceive again.

The 5 cigs will have damn all to do with it.

And I say that as an ex smoker who cannot believe governments haven't outlawed tobacco products and vapes years ago.