My partner and I had been TTC for 2 years before falling pregnant with our double rainbow who is now 3 weeks old.
During that time we had discussed how the finances would work whilst I am on maternity leave. For context we have a mortgage together and my partner earns 6 times more than me. My job is well paid but I accepted the job 3 months pregnant, meaning I am not entitled to Statutory Maternity Pay (I live in the UK). We both made the decision that I should accept the job as it was a big payrise and leap in my career.
Anyway, we had also agreed that during maternity leave we had agreed that my partner would cover our joint costs and send me money to my personal account to cover my own costs and general living expenses as I wouldn’t be getting an income (aside from maternity allowance that doesn’t come close to covering it!).
Roll on to yesterday and we sat down to discuss the finances now that I am on maternity leave. My partner has said he will cover my direct debits in my account however, I am to use our joint for my general living expenses, and he will not be sending me an “allowance” as he put it. His reasoning is that it is less admin and we can keep track of expenses in one place.
My issue with this is that I would have no financial autonomy for a year. Whenever I needed or wanted to buy something for myself it would come out of the joint account. If the joint account ran low I would need to ask for it to be topped up. I am also hurt that he has gone back on what we agreed.
I do not want to be in the situation of having to ask for money it I need something for me or for the baby… our previous agreement meant I had some financial independence when on maternity leave, and whilst I appreciate him covering our costs, I am looking after our baby and taking a career break of a year to do so.
He is a kind and loving person but he doesn’t see why I have an issue with the above.
Am I being unreasonable?