Extreme stress and anxiety about not knowing who father of child is

[curiousmagpie7]

Please refrain from judgement cause this is killing me from the inside and there's not a day I don't think about this, I know I can get a dna test however they're very costly and not something I can afford just at this moment in time. Im currently 16 weeks pregnant and I'm really stressed about a certain situation. When i went to my 12 week on the 21st of feb, the ultrasound scan it said I was 13 weeks 1 days meaning I conceived November 21st
2023. I had a one night stand on the 16th and sex with my boyfriend on the 19th. I'm aware sperm can live up to 5 days however is the baby most likely my boyfriends? I'm almost certain I just came off my period when I had the one night stand. Which guy is most likely I'm so stressed, both guys ejaculated in me.

Hi Op
no judgment here, I feel for you. With the days being so close it will be pretty tricky to tell. Ovulation occurs about 2 weeks before your next period but with you saying you came off your period around the 16th neither dates really fit.

im assuming your boyfriend doesn’t know about the other guy? I think your only choice is the DNA test, do you have a family member or friend who would help you with the cost?

It could be either.

Are you still with your boyfriend? Does he know about the one night stand?

If you’re struggling with anxiety or depression about this please talk to your midwife. Dates can move quite a bit with scans. There’s nothing you can do for now.

DNA test seems the only option. It's important you know for your baby's wellbeing. I know it will be really really difficult but as with most things in life being honest with those involved usually ends up being the best option for everyone in the end.

Agree with the others. .. unfortunately the dates are far too close to tell with this one and you will need a DNA test to know for sure. Is your bf aware there is a possibility it's not his? I'm assuming not due to mention of guilt. Whilst it must be really scary I do agree with PP who said honesty is the best long-term policy, though appreciate you've not asked about that so apologies and good luck with it all.

That’s very close, it could be either sorry!

The weeks count from roughly tje date of your last period with a bit of adjustment at the scan. That means nobody is ever 0-2 weeks pregnant because the first two weeks it counts atr roughly the period between your last period and conceiving.

So 13 weeks on 20 Feb puts you at a conception date closer to 5 December.

Impossible to say. Does your boyfriend know it might not be his baby?

Op it could absolutely be either. The scan isn't even reliable enough to tell you that accurately. I know exactly when I ovualted, my scan said I'm over a week earlier than that. You really can't know without a dna test I'm afraid.

Edit to add, I just double checked your maths. The start of your pregnancy by the midwife isn't the conception date, it's the "first day of your last period" or thereabouts. Your ovulation date is approximately 14 days later. So if accurate, you ovulated around the 5th December. But again, they're not THAT accurate and if you had sex with another person during the cycle that you conceived, it could just as easily be theirs.

DNA test is the only option I'm afraid.

I had IVF so was absolutely certain of my dates, and the scan still put me half a week different to the timing I knew.

Sorry you're going through this, sounds incredibly stressful

It's highly unlikely to be ONS guy. Its not likely it was even your boyfriend on the 16th, much more likely another time with your boyfriend at least a week or so later.

If the ONS was more like 1 December it would be more ambiguous.

It won't be ONS man. The dates are wrong. You would have conceived at the start of December if you were 13w 1d at your scan date.

Well, I do know someone who got pregnant straight after her period, but that was over continuously having sex around that time for 6 months. So it’s uncommon.
The pregnancy will be counted from last day of period because the conception dates are always vague. In order to obtain better clarity over your ovulation dates you want to look at how long is your menstrual cycle. Mine, for example, is 25 days that means that I will ovulate between days 7 and 11 not on the 14th day.
But I think…even if your cycle is short like mine, then I think it’s unlikely to be from the first partner.

I also came to say about the maths. It’s very confusing that that is how they calculate it but as others say, conception date is likely early Dec.

Agree you need a DNa test but it's most likely your boyfriends

If I’ve read right , you’re currently 16 weeks pregnant putting you around 25th august due date . Based on this , your conception dates are in the pic . So it’s nowhere near one night stand date