Lost all hope of natural birth

[Strawberry06]

41+1 today and starting to accept my fate of an induction on Monday.

Feeling so down about it as I have had the most wonderful pregnancy; no sickness or pain and baby growing lovely throughout. So I'm just gutted that now when I'm at the very end, he won't just come naturally, I feel like a complete failure :-(

I've had two failed sweeps, last one being today when she said my cervix was completely closed. Not had any signs whatsoever despite baby being head down and engaged for weeks.

I really don't get how people just stand up and go into spontaneous labour! All I want is to be woken up in the night with contractions! It just seems impossible to me.

I don't know whether to hold out hope he'll come over the weekend or channel my mental capacity into preparing for the induction on Monday (which I really don't want but time is ticking)

I have tried sex, nipple stimulation, ball bouncing and long walks but nothings worked. Not tried other things as I believe they're just old wives tales...

Honestly, you will feel so much differently very soon. Both my dc were c section, neither through choice. I wanted a chilled waterbirth experience. But hey ho, I got my babies here and that is what matters.

I’d choose section over induction. Any day.

I've had the drip 3 times now. Never had pain relief with it either. Its not the worst thing I've experienced. You can have an epidural with it before it starts or anytime during it.
I've always had it put in after my waters have been broke and then I've always delivered quite soon after.
The only annoying thing for me was how much it restricts you to the bed etc. You are constantly attached to it and I hate feeling "stuck". Other than that, it's not bad.

Reaching 41+1 can be challenging, especially when expecting spontaneous labor. It's essential to remember that induction doesn't reflect on your pregnancy experience or motherhood capabilities. Many factors influence labor onset. Failed sweeps and a closed cervix are not uncommon, and signs can vary. Some opt for natural methods, but each pregnancy is unique. Balancing hope for spontaneous labor with preparing for induction is reasonable. Patience is key, and discussing concerns with your healthcare provider can offer guidance tailored to your situation.

Honestly, why on earth do you think you are a failure, before modern medicine you wouldn’t have had a definitive due date and would have gone into labour when your body was ready and most likely have delivered naturally. Obviously glad for modern medicine as risks reduced but reality is most mums and babies would have been fine anyway. For every baby saved whose placenta was actually failing hundreds of babies have to be induced and same with expediting delivery, most would have been fine letting nature run with a normal delivery. Obviously that one on a few hundred is still very precious and no one wants their baby to be that one which is why they do these interventions on such a large scale , you and your body are not a failure. Obviously we always hear about cases in life where something bad happened, even through history which does skew our view as to what would happen if nature was left to run its course. You haven’t had ‘failed sweeps’ they are only given as slightly increase your chance of going into labour sooner (if your body was also ready) they won’t induce a labour at 40 weeks in a woman who wouldn’t have naturally gone into labour at 42 weeks

I had 3x inductions and 3 vaginal births so just because you might end up induced doesn't mean it's all a disaster 🥰

Why not just decline the induction? You're only 41 weeks. Most have mine have gone 2 weeks over and I don't doubt this next one will also. They always put the pressure on me to have inductions but I refuse and carry on my homebirth as normal.

I think labour should be seen like a train ride somewhere scenic - just because you have a ticket, you might get a breathtaking view of the mountains or you might get a load of fog, an annoying person blocking the window, the smell of boiled eggs etc. It can be a great experience or a bit of a horror but the main thing is the destination, ultimately.

Going into labour naturally can still mean you might need a drip or other interventions to speed things up, or a CS.

I went into labour naturally with DC1, had CS after a day and a half of labour, the feeling that I'd failed somehow messed with my head a bit. It's all based in the idea that nature is benevolent and nature is best - yes, a straightforward birth is optimal but there are plenty of ways it can go wrong.

This isn't a test of your worth or your womanhood, it's a procedure where a baby will come out from you. If the experience is wonderful then that's great. If the experience is a bit shit, hey-ho nevermind you have a baby. Thinking you should be 100% in control will make it more likely you'll find things traumatic, you need to be respected and consulted but ultimately go with the flow.

This

I had an induction and ended up having a great active labour and still gave birth in the pool in the MLBU, I was terrified and nearly declined beforehand but not all inductions are horror stories.

I hope whatever happens it goes OK OP x

OP I haven’t had an induction but I have had a failed labour (failure to progress) resulting in emcs. My labour started naturally too on my due date. I definitely felt id failed (especially as it was in the name of the condition). I was gutted. It took me a long while to get over it. I did actually end up choosing elcs for my second so I couldn’t ‘fail’ again.

i just wanted to say that I totally understand you feeling the way you do. But honestly now my kids are 8 and 11 and it’s never something that worries or concerns me anymore. I wish I’d not worried about it for the first few years because it doesn’t matter in the end at all. All that matters is baby is born healthy. You can’t control what your body does before or in labour so just do what needs to be done and then enjoy the newborn bubble. Good luck with it all x

@Strawberry06 good luck for today, I hope it all goes well whatever happens. 💕

Hi all

Just an update for those that are interested!

We've been at the hospital for 4 hours this evening and I've come away with a section planned for Wednesday.

Obviously I went in to have the rods inserted but the consultant said I'm almost guaranteed to need the drip and that if I'm having the rods inserted then I'd need to commit to the whole induction process including the drip otherwise there's no point.

I was examined and there's been no change at all in my cervix since last week. I'm still completely closed. So even if I did have the drip, there's no guarantees that would even work and I might have even needed an EMCS anyway.

Very emotional evening but I think I've made the right decision. It keeps me in control. Im still gutted I won't have a vaginal birth but it is what it is and I'm sure I'll get over it.

Well done for making a decision that feels right for you. Wishing you a peaceful birth on Wednesday.

Are you able to present / discuss your wishes for your cesarean birth? It might be useful to talk this through with your partner (and maybe hospital staff) so you can start to visualise the wonderful moment when you meet your baby and in so far as is possible the hospital staff put your wishes forward.

Really beautifully written. I mentioned above a similar situation where my birth didn't progress and someone rude said I should have listened to the midwife to induce me and what's this post got to do with me.
Your response is exactly why we should share our stories. I'm expecting number 2 in September and have decided for elected, I feel I owe it to myself to have a peaceful and predictable birth. I couldn't look at or hold my son for hours as I couldn't stop being sick, was so full of drugs, had no sleep or food for 24+ hours. Not going through it again.

Inductions aren't always awful. Not wishing to repeat what others have said but this is literally your last chance to relax and enjoy life as a non parent. Do it! ❤️

Oh op you haven't failed in any way at all. I've got 2 amazing kids. One was an induction and one was an elcs due to unstable lie. Looking back it took nothing away from my experiences because they both ended as they should. A baby in my arms and a hell of a lot of love. Wishing you so much luck for Wednesday. Healthy baby and healthy you is all that matters

On the plus side op, I have had 2 sections and I don’t wee when I laugh, jump or run like many of my friends who had a natural birth. So every cloud

I've had three births, first one was natural, the other two were inductions. Honestly the best birth (for me) was an induction with epidural as my pain was being managed properly (they are very keen on epidurals for twins). Both inductions I just needed a pessary to kick things off so it's not always a cascade of medical intervention.

For what it’s worth I had similar for my second and I really think if there must to be interventions then holding out as long as is right for you and then going straight to C section is the way to do it.

yes some inductions go well. But some don’t and a c section or lots of other interventions birth days after trying for induction is pretty common and tough for mum and baby.

you are doing great by your baby OP. All that cooking time will mena your baby is even more ready and more likely to be able to breast feed etc (the suckling reflex is one of the last to develop).

i was pushed into a c section at exactly 40 weeks due to my age and baby was measuring big. I was NOT happy about it.

but it was better than the intervention heavy birth I’d had with my first. And no 2 shuffles up my tummy and latched on a few mins after birth. One of the midwives got emotional as she said she’d never seen a new born do that in such a text book way before/

five years on it wa a the right choice for me out of the range of available options.

im still angry mothers aren’t better support to have births that are both right for them AND safe.

but that’s the systems fault. It’s not you, or even your caregivers who are working within guidelines driven by fear.

You will get over it. I had two sections despite really wanting natural births. Nobody remembers once baby is here. It doesn't affect your bonding or anything like that in my experience. I have no idea how any of my friends gave birth (unless I knew them at the time). It really doesn't matter.

Hi Op, hope you are ok after what must have been an emotional day. It sounds good that you have made a plan but I just wanted to say it is still possible you could go into labour. I held out on induction as long as I could as I felt the same as you. After several failed sweeps where the midwife could barely even reach my cervix as it was so high and closed I had an induction scheduled for when I was 12 days overdue. Despite my cervix having shown no signs of labour coming on, I did go into labour the night before my induction was due to take place! Baby was born smoothly vaginally 12 days over due. So it can happen. I did have acupuncture to try to induce the labour - can’t say if it was down to that as I don’t think there is a proper evidence base for it but it seemed to ‘work’ in my case (could have just been a coincidence!). All the best OP.

How exciting to know you will meet your baby on weds OP!

My 2nd was a semi elective section and it was great. Lovely atmosphere, they pulled the screen down when DS was born (we didn’t know the sex).
I held him straight away and bf straight away.

I’ve never had a vaginal birth and felt a bit sad but it’s true that the most important thing is the safety of all. Also,I had to go through a long and ineffective labour with my first and then EMCS,felt like I’d be run over after!

please update when the baby arrives 💐

This this this this this!!
You don't HAVE to accept an induction.

Also find what kemibirthjoyjohnson has to say about all things re inductions and interventions on her Instagram account. VERY timely and helpful reading for you at this stage.

As long as you're healthy and baby is well, it's just not time for baby to come. They will come when they are ready! You are absolutely not a failure and should not be expected to just follow an arbitrary timeline the maternity mafia has set out for you. Ask questions, weigh up the pros and cons. I'll be hoping baby comes along on their own accord

I'm so pleased for you to hear you are getting a planned section. I have heard such good things from people who have had planned sections about how calm and controlled it is. Baby will be here soon!

this is the best advice on this thread

that and take advice from your medical care providers