IVF/FET Pregnancies due Oct 2024

[2mumlife]

Hi, thought I'd start of thread for those of us who have been through fertility treatment and are due in October 2024 :-)

I'm 6 weeks today after FET. This was our first try for a sibling (also a FET pregnancy).

Nausea is kicking my butt this time around. How is everyone else feeling?

How is everyone feeling about their early pregnancy scans?

Welcome to you both @muddlingthrou @Melian ! Definitely empathise with all the strange sensations we experience and how our brains can jump to the worst case scenarios. All totally normal though! @muddlingthrou i stopped at 11 weeks and was very anxious about it, but all absolutely fine. My belly actually went back to a more normal size after stopping too which was nice, as the progesterone was causing so much bloating.

I’ve been feeling baby girl moving around a fair bit now! It was so strange this morning as I could feel the pressure of her being on one side and then looked down at my belly and you could see her scrunched in one place with a very wonky belly! I’ve attached a photo in case it gives anyone else a giggle like it did for me this morning haha

@IVF23 thats amazing! Thank you for the photo, it reminds me of how much a miracle pregnancy really is. I still don’t really have a bump and I’m nearly 18 weeks. I’ve lost another 4lb too (just over a stone since FET). I’m not really sure how because I’m eating 6 mini meals a day fat-dense ‘meals’ too like cream cheese on crackers and nuts. I’m not restricting myself at all. We eat healthily in terms of no processed food but I don’t calorie-restrict. I wonder if my body is just ‘rebalancing’ or the baby is eating all my fat?

@IVF23 I love when you can see your bump moving around. I used to poke DD back and it was like a little game. Didn’t experience it until later on, but I’ve got extra squidge round the middle! 😂

@TheYorkshirePudding I know there isn’t too much more you can do if you’re eating calorie-dense foods but do watch it as I think it’s one of the things they worry about if you’re continuing to loose weight after the first trimester, as you would be expected to be gaining weight slowly but steadily x

@TheYorkshirePudding oh that’s tough. I don’t think the bump is anything to worry about, as everyone will pop at different times and especially with the first it can take longer I understand. Have you spoken to your midwife about the weight loss? Aw yes I completely agree. As I’m feeling her more and seeing her move, it’s just feeling so much more real and I feel so relieved and happy now!

@2mumlife it fascinates me haha. I really wasn’t expecting to see it so early, I thought it would be 3rd trimester. Aw yes when I poke my tummy I can feel her move sometimes, it’s so sweet!

Sorry if this has already been talked about, but has any one got a pregnancy pillow yet? I'm only 15 weeks so it feels to early. I deffo do not have a pregnancy bump still more like a bloat bump / weight gain. But my boobs are huge and feel so heavy. Im a side sleeper but I keep over twisting and my upper back is so painful when I wake up and it is giving me broken sleep. But it feels silly to get one this early? I haven't bought anything yet, just clothes in a bigger size but not maternity and no baby things. Iv had 5 losses prior to ivf so I feel super nervous about buying something 'pregnancy / baby' related

Hi @peardeer i bought a pregnancy pillow at about 14 weeks. I’ve been having issues with pelvic girdle pain and it felt needed. I bought the bb hug me and would recommend, but it is one of the more expensive ones. I know it feels really nerve wracking thinking of buying anything pregnancy related, but I also think it’s important steps to make in accepting/letting in some of the excitement! I definitely don’t think it’s too early if it will help you feel more comfortable.

@IVF23 thank you for the recommendation. I think that's also part of the issue, there seems to be so much on the market for pregnancy / baby items that it feel really overwhelming to know where to start and I put off looking. Sorry to hear about your pelvic girdle pain, I hope the pillow is helping. I have been trying to manage with normal pillows but they end up falling off the bed or just aren't the right size and I do want one it just feels like a big item to have in the house I suppose

@peardeer I bought one at 14w! Just a £26 one from ASDA. My hips are already starting to hurt, even though I only have a tiny bump! But it’s really helped so far - even my partner has been trying to steal it off me as it’s so comfy.

@peardeer I borrowed a pregnancy pillow off a friend last time - it was bloody massive though and took up half the bed, and isnt suitable this time as I cosleep with DD. Last time I just used pillow quite a bit. I’m also a side sleeper. Sound stupid put putting a pillow/ Cushing between your legs felt quite comfy for me. I’m starting to find I could do with something for my back but need to look into options that work with cosleeping. A cosleeping friend of mine used a wedge so might look into one of those

@confuzzzzzled thank you for the suggestion, Iv ordered one from Amazon to see how I get on. My husband keeps saying he will use it if not 😂 sorry to hear about your hip pain, mine have been the same. It feels like an aching feeling for me which gets worse when I lay on one side for too long

@2mumlife iv just ordered one and it looks huge! Oh bless you, yeah I imagine it's a lot harder trying to find something when your co sleeping. I have been using a pillow between my legs which helps a bit but it's my upper back pain I can't cope with. But the pillows I have are too small or too big or not firm enough. I'm hoping it helps and I'm telling myself it's a boob support and not a pregnancy pillow to make myself feel more comfortable about it 😅

@confuzzzzzled I’ve just bought the asda one too! Waiting for it to arrive 🤗 Ladies, we can’t neglect our knees, hips and backs (not to mention our sleep!)

@peardeer I know exactly what you mean about too much choice on the market and that puts you off. I’ve felt very much the same…but my family want to buy things so I’ve started small with choosing nipple cream, spritz for your bits, nappy cream etc so they are building up a hamper which is so kind. The smaller items don’t feel as they hold as much weight as a pram for example so I think that has helped like @IVF23 said.

@2mumlife Did you use a sling by any chance with your DD? I’ve bought a secondhand ergobaby and we’ve been practising tying it with a teddy. Has anyone else thought about that kind of thing?

@TheYorkshirePudding that's lovely they are putting together a hamper for you. I hear you that the smaller items feel easier. We are planning on going to buy a babygrow after we find out the gender at about 17.5 weeks. Hoping that will kick
start the urge to buy things and allow myself to get excited. Iv read good things about the ergobaby carriers. People have suggested to me
to get a carrier for out of the house and a wrap sling carrier for inside the house but I haven't got or tried either yet

I'd say have a look on vinted for pregnancy pillows. There are good one at really cheap prices. They are all washable so you can disinfect it before using it

@peardeer You actually really don’t need much. Pregnancy / newborns are marketing BS made to swindle you out of as much money as possible. No shame in going second hand for lots of things (save the planet for your future LO as well as your pocket!). All you really need to think about for the first few weeks / months is…

• Where do you want baby to sleep? I got a preloved next2me and just bought a new mattress (recommended by sage sleep advice). Very useful having baby next to your bed particularly if breastfeeding as you don’t even need to get out of bed in the night. Babies are evolutionarily programmed to sleep close so suggest some kind of side-sleeper. I also suggest familiarising yourself with sage cosleeping advice, particularly if breastfeeding as even if you aren’t planning to most people end up cosleeping at some point and it’s better to know what doing that safely looks like so at 3am when you crash with them in your bed you can make it safe x
• Transportation - so a sling and/or pram, and a car seat if you have a car. Car seat was about the only thing we bought new (silver cross all-size 360 thing that does birth to 12 years. Love the swivel seat. Look for something rear facing for as long as you can for safety). We got a preloved ergobaby 360 sling (love it, still use it) and a preloved uppababy vista pram (no way was I paying the price of a new pram!). Our pram is a beast - totally massive, would be awful if you had a small car (I used to have a Nissan micra which was way too small for a kid so now have a Kia sportage). We live rurally so we wanted something with really big sturdy wheels but it would be awful for someone who lived in city.
• A (small) wardrobe - people will give you loads of stuff, so just have a small selection of 0-3m clothes. Mostly sleepsuits and vests to be honest. And something for baby to sleep in (swaddle / sleepbag deciding what you want to do. We used a “love to dream arms-up” thing that’s kind of between a swaddle and a sleepbag. Get a pram suit for going outside.
• baby hygiene basics - nappies, cotton wool and water for cleaning, baby bath / seat (get one second hand). Just avoid lotions and potions as baby skin is delicate so warm water is enough for the first few months.
• how will you feed baby? If breastfeeding get breastfeeding bras and tops (I like Juno jacks zip tops and the “breast-vest” which is like a tank top that goes under your boobs to cover your belly so you can wear your usual tops and lift them up to feed baby). Nipple cream very good idea and id suggest a haaka pump and milk collector. If bottle feeding then some bottles, formula and decide how you want to Clean bottles (microwave or some other kind of steriliser) and if you want to invest in a prep machine.
• Small (very small) selection of toys / places to put baby e.g a baby bouncer and play mat for tummy time. Babies are hardly awake between feeding and nappy changes so just a couple rattles / things that crinkle are plenty as they won’t really play for a long time

Everything else you will be gifted or pick up along the way which is easier once you see what your baby is like and what works for you as a family.

@2mumlife thank you so much for that list, so helpful! Iv screenshotted it so I can look back on it easily. I do use vinted a lot but I suppose I wasn't really sure what I was looking for when it comes to baby. We agreed the only thing we 100% would get new was car seats and mattresses for safety but everything else we would get second hand. Baby grows out of everything so quickly it seems silly wasting so much money on clothes ect. We would like a next to me crib but again there is so many brands and different ones I'm not sure what to pick. I think after 20 weeks our plan is to go and have a look around a shop that displays them all and then pick one but not buy it, look for it second hand or at least wait closer to the due date before getting the bigger things

@peardeer and other FTMs to be - my one regret from the first time round is that we got a steam steriliser rather than a UV one. It's annoying dealing with dripping bottles etc! You also don't have to deal with descaling the machine.

@muddlingthrou thank you for sharing, I didn't even know UV was an option! I'm really hoping to breastfeed but know I should still spend some time researching bottles and sterilisers just incase

@peardeer Hope it was useful. I think there is far to much pressure to buy everything before baby comes, and also to feel like you need all this extra stuff. I wish we’d bought less to begin with, as honestly you don’t know what’s going to work for your baby until it arrives - it might absolutely hate your side-sleeper/cot/car seat/baby bouncer/Moses basket/pram etc etc etc (it’s guaranteed to hate something) 😂 so at least if most things haven’t cost you much you can try something else instead if you need to. Also as well you don’t know what works for your family / child until it’s born, things like clothes for example, our DD had really chunky thighs, so after about 0-3 months clothes that had poppers round the legs for nappy changes didn’t work as they constantly popped open! She as also really tall so grew out of 0-3 months after about 8 weeks, and some of the smaller brands before that. We also learnt some brands of clothing fitted her body shape better than others (clothes from Next were particularly awful for coming undone at the leg poppers for instance). Also, you see what works for you. A friend of mine kept all her nappy changing stuff under the sofa for instance, so she didn’t need to leave her older children unattended to change babies nappy. Also if you set up a changing table etc in a room that’s upstairs you’ll be going up and down a lot in the early
weeks, and when you inevitably have a poo explosion that’s gone all up babies back you want as little distance as possible 😂 we set up 2 changing stations for our DD - one in her bedroom (that she didn’t sleep in for at least 10 months) and one in the living room. We now change her in the bathroom. We just had a changing mat ontop of a normal chest of drawers until it felt unsafe for rolling, then moved to changing her on the floor. All in getting at is I think sometimes seeing how you go is actually probably better than trying to plan everything and be super organised :)

@TheYorkshirePudding sorry just catching up as we’ve been away on holiday this week. Yup we got an ergobaby 360. We live in Scotland so get the Scottish baby box here, so we used the soft sling in that for the first couple of weeks. I don’t actually have a newborn insert for our ergo baby as got it later, but might try to find one this time around. Our DD napped in the carrier a lot after the first couple of weeks

Also a carrier is so much easier than a buggy for out and about!

@2mumlife could I ask if you found that the ergo baby made you hot? I think there's one for greater airflow but I'm not convinced how cool it'll be.

My friend's little boy was like a hot water bottle and I'd start sweating just holding him for 15 minutes. I can't imagine carrying him around all day lol

@2mumlife Oh, and I hope you enjoyed your holiday!

@LuxeBiscuit Never really had that much of a problem with overheating - I got used to wearing outer layers over the top though, so e.g a sweater with a zip over the top and then if I felt warm could take off without taking off the whole carrier.

Break was good though not very recuperating 😂 DD was starting 2 word sentences last 2-3 weeks but really had a language burst just starting before we went so the week was fun with her coming up with lots of new words and new 2 and 3 word combinations. But the developmental leap also seems to have come with another burst of toddler irrationality which is really hard work, and she’s teething and these bottom canine have been a complete bugger 🤦‍♀️

@LuxeBiscuit What I would say about airflow as well is we didn’t really use the ergobaby on the back - DD leans too much to the side and makes it really uncomfortable. Now if we want to back carry, we use a proper walking backpack (friends passed us their Bushbaby carrier as they’re done having kids).

The proper backpack is better for back carry, but you can’t use it until they’re older. It’s also bulky and really quite heavy. So we only use that for proper hill walking. The ergobaby was great up until she started getting quite heavy for front carrying. We still use it times when we want something really light, like travelling through an airport, but wouldn’t use it for anything longer distance now as having that much weight on your front is tiring and as above, she swings to the side to see where she’s going in the back carry and that’s too uncomfortable to use.

Id been looking at going to are closest sling library to try some different toddler carriers, but whilst it’s possible to carry a toddler and baby at the same time I don’t really fancy it. If this baby hates a sling/carrier but loves a pram I’ll look into toddler carriers, otherwise just encouraging my DD to walk more, so been telling her since getting pregnant that her choices are to walk or go into the buggy but that I can’t walk and carry her. I still pick her up for a cuddle but then say she her options are walk or pram.

@2mumlife thanks, that's helpful. I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable with back carrying but you never know.

Glad you had a good time and exciting that your DD is starting to talk. It's such a fun time based on my niece / godson.