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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant and end of life family member.

66 replies

Twistylemon · 20/01/2024 08:10

Hiya, I'm almost 7 months pregnant.

My grandmother has been put on end of life care. It's to be expected, she's 90. She stopped her dialysis on her own accord. I'm closer to her then I am To my own parents 😔

I want to go and see her, as its going to be my last time obviously.

But the ward she is on has contracted norovirus. It's been shut for almost a week. The bay she is on, has norovirus too. They will no longer test her for norovirus her as she is end of life and all care withdrawn except the basic pain relief and personal care.

The consultant there has said we can visit at our own risk. He was very concerned for my situation with being pregnant.

I know it's a personal choice. But has anyone had norovirus around this mark and been OK? I have a toddler anyway so she brings home all the germs.

Any advise please and thank you in advance ☺️

OP posts:
Original poster
Twistylemon · 20/01/2024 08:11

To add consultant said it will be days she will live not weeks.

OP posts:
Candleabra · 20/01/2024 08:13

Oh that’s so hard. What a dilemma. Is your gran conscious? Could you ask a nurse to talk to her over the phone?

Oxborn · 20/01/2024 08:14

Sorry to hear about your Grandmother would wearing a mask help

DrearyLane · 20/01/2024 08:14

I had d&v at six months. It wasn’t much fun, but we survived it. In your place, i would go (and be scrupulous about hygiene)

Lindy2 · 20/01/2024 08:15

I think I would wear a mask and use a lot of hand sanitiser and go and see her.

I'm so sorry you are in this situation. Because you likely only have days left I think you'll regret it if you don't get to do this. You could, as you say, catch neuro virus from your toddler at any time, anyway.

Doppelgangers · 20/01/2024 08:15

Honestly no I wouldn't be going anywhere near the ward even if not pregnant if there is an outbreak of norovirus.

I appreciate you want to see her one last time but allowing visitors when there is an outbreak is very irresponsible. Is there any way you can do a video call?

GintyMcGinty · 20/01/2024 08:17

I had norovirus at 8 months. It was as horrible at the time but no affect on baby.

Original poster
Twistylemon · 20/01/2024 08:21

My grandmother can't hold a phone conversation longer then 5 mins if that now.

She's sleeping a lot.

I would be wearing an apron. Mask and I would go with a ffp3 one, the ones for covid infections. And gloves. I would insist on that.

I would leave all my belongings outside so minimise risk.

I work for NHS, so I know how to keep infection control and what to do and not to do.

I think it doesn't help my dad (which is his mum) who is fit and well has refused to go and see her as he doesn't fancy getting ill, he has been unbearable throughout which hasn't exactly helped but that's a different story.

Hahaha. Yes my toddlers nursery always has bugs going around.

OP posts:
Original poster
Twistylemon · 20/01/2024 08:23

She's on end of life. Of course they allow visitors at their own risk

OP posts:
puddypud · 20/01/2024 08:24

I would definitely go and see your lovely granny. As you say, wear a mask and thoroughly wash your hands after touching anything.

puddypud · 20/01/2024 08:25

Is there any chance she would be able to go home or into a hospice for her final days? It would be much more comfortable for everyone.

KimKardassion · 20/01/2024 08:26

puddypud · 20/01/2024 08:25

Is there any chance she would be able to go home or into a hospice for her final days? It would be much more comfortable for everyone.

That’s a huge emotional responsibility for the family (to do end of life care at home).

LydiaTomos · 20/01/2024 08:26

My friend caught norovirus at 7 months pregnant and had to be admitted to hospital. The baby was in distress and they considered an emergency c-section. Luckily the baby's heart rate returned to normal after the mum had fluids and anti sickness meds but it was a close call.

rockwater · 20/01/2024 08:26

I had norovirus when I was just under three months pregnant- it was horrific (vomited like, 15 times in one night) but my son is now 17 and super healthy, and applying to university. I am not saying it's a good idea to get it when pregnant of course, but if you take lots of sensible precautions I would go.

ChipsAreLife · 20/01/2024 08:27

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I would go in, you will likely regret it if you don't. Hopefully with sensible measures you'll avoid it and if not it'll be horrible but you'll manage.

I lost my dm at 9 months and I know how difficult it is with trying not to be stressed for baby etc but if you want to say goodbye and say I love you once last time, do it.

KimKardassion · 20/01/2024 08:28

I would go and take every precaution you could.
Assume you will get the virus and prepare for the worst - baby wipes, bin bags, get shopping delivered etc.

CurlyWurly1991 · 20/01/2024 08:29

I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother.
I had a similar situation with a relative dying in hospital but I had my newborn by that point. It was very hard as I couldn’t see him at the end. What I would say is that depending on her level of consciousness, these last moments are more for you than for the unwell person. I’ve lost many loved ones, sadly, and I remember them for the good and happy times not those last moments. Your first responsibility now is to your unborn baby, and protecting your health. I wonder if that’s what your grandmother would say to you if she could? Take care xx

SuperFurryCat · 20/01/2024 08:32

I would be thinking what would your Gran want you to do? Would she want you to take the risk? Or do you think she would say she knows you love her and she wants you to put your unborn baby first?

AlltheFs · 20/01/2024 08:33

I’d go if it meant she was there alone. I wouldn’t if someone else was visiting.

wandawaves · 20/01/2024 08:33

Go, and get the nurses to properly don and doff you in PPE.

DancefloorAcrobatics · 20/01/2024 08:41

Go. You'll regret it otherwise. As others have said, use all available PPE, don't take any bags ect and use the alcohol gel.
I work in a hospital, we have big siknks outside the wards in the corridor, I'd definitely take PPE off there and wash my hands thoroughly.

Metallicant · 20/01/2024 08:45

what an awful dilemma for you.

I don’t think I would go in your shoes. I had norovirus some years ago and was so, so ill for a couple of weeks afterwards. That combined with pregnancy would be horrific. If you were to get it and be ill, aside from the problems with your own health, it might take your out of action in the coming days and weeks when you might be needed to help with practical things.

Mariposistaaa · 20/01/2024 08:51

My gran was put on EOL care and died at Easter last year at home with my mum and me. I raced home from Spain where I lived to get to her. Sorry but I would have walked into hell to get 5 last minutes with her. It’s the most horrible moment ever, but it’s your beloved gran and she will be able to hear you and know you are there even if she can’t speak. And sorry, whoever is suggesting a facetime - doesn’t cut it.
I might sound harsh but grief is still strong. So sorry about your gran.

Mariposistaaa · 20/01/2024 08:54

PS your dad is an arse. I hope he regrets being so selfish in years to come.

mummylove24 · 20/01/2024 08:58

Twistylemon · 20/01/2024 08:21

My grandmother can't hold a phone conversation longer then 5 mins if that now.

She's sleeping a lot.

I would be wearing an apron. Mask and I would go with a ffp3 one, the ones for covid infections. And gloves. I would insist on that.

I would leave all my belongings outside so minimise risk.

I work for NHS, so I know how to keep infection control and what to do and not to do.

I think it doesn't help my dad (which is his mum) who is fit and well has refused to go and see her as he doesn't fancy getting ill, he has been unbearable throughout which hasn't exactly helped but that's a different story.

Hahaha. Yes my toddlers nursery always has bugs going around.

Sorry to hear this, but definitely “suit up” protect yourself and go see your Nan please, you’ll be just fine, God bless her 🙏🏾💖

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