Pregnant and end of life family member.

[Twistylemon]

Hiya, I'm almost 7 months pregnant.

My grandmother has been put on end of life care. It's to be expected, she's 90. She stopped her dialysis on her own accord. I'm closer to her then I am To my own parents 😔

I want to go and see her, as its going to be my last time obviously.

But the ward she is on has contracted norovirus. It's been shut for almost a week. The bay she is on, has norovirus too. They will no longer test her for norovirus her as she is end of life and all care withdrawn except the basic pain relief and personal care.

The consultant there has said we can visit at our own risk. He was very concerned for my situation with being pregnant.

I know it's a personal choice. But has anyone had norovirus around this mark and been OK? I have a toddler anyway so she brings home all the germs.

Any advise please and thank you in advance ☺️

@Twistylemon sorry to read this, you poor thing 😢

I had norovirus and HG for 3 days during my last pregancy, was hell, I puked over 100 times a day and my body was in agony from retching.

But I'd 100% risk it to see your gran.

You may have 3 days of hell but as someone who couldn't give their gran a last love due to covid, I'd risk 3 days of hell over the next life time. Unfortunately norovirus is horrid especially when pregnant but I was reassured repeatedly to just try sleeping it off and go in for fluids when the d&v passed but that was for the hg, to get my meds back in me.

Go see grandma, baby will be fine, you'll feel like hell on steroids. It will pass.

Much love to you and grandma 💐

I wonder if it’s an excuse for your Dad and he can’t bear to watch his Mum died. I recently watched my Mum died, ultimately it was kidney failure but everything was failing at this point and I hated every minute of it. People deal with things in different ways.

As for you OP what would your Grandma have said to you if someone was in the same situation?

I'm sorry you're going through this OP. In situations like this, I'd ask myself what would I regret more... Not being with gran, or being with gran and something going wrong with your baby? I'd also ask myself what gran would want. You obviously have a loving relationship with her. I'm sure she'd want you there if there was no norovirus, but what would she tell you if she could? My nan would have told me to "look after that damn baby!" You know better than us, and as you've said, you know how to reduce the risks to you and your baby. Only you know what decision you can live with.

I'd go in a heartbeat. Everything you do in pregnancy carries a risk! If dc had caught it at nursery you'd still be looking after them right?! Follow proper infection control procedures and spend that time with your grandma.

Sorry you're going through this

I have just spoken to her. She asked when's she going to see me and my little one. She's completely sound of mind talking to me. But can't hold a convo more then a few mins.

A hospice or coming home isn't practical. By the time everything is implemented she would have passed. It's days not weeks.

Thank you for all your comments and advice

Still at a loss what to do as nanny just asked when she's seeing me so doesn't help 😔

I’d ask the MW about risk of potentially catching norovirus.

It might be that the consultant is covering his back re ‘I don’t advise you to come’.
If tte issue is ‘only’ the norovirus then I’d go tbh.

I agree with this one - get advice from the MW

They won't do that if there's a chance of the infection spreading elsewhere.

What a horrible situation. I am so sorry for you all.

I would go cos I would regret going but I generally never regret the things I have done, just those I hadn't. Go and be with ur gran- as you said, it'll be the last time!

You are (assumed) fit and healthy? You have a very high chance of a full recovery if you caught it.

You could realistically catch it anywhere, public areas, transport, maternity appointments and the hospital you give birth in. Are you locking yourself away to avoid catching anything?

I would 100% visit, there is no second chance at this and it's her end of life and clearly she wants to see you. This would personally play on my mind if I didn't go.

Take all the normal precautions and say goodbye

Deal with sickness the same way you would had you just caught something form a random occurrence

I caught it when I was 5 months pregnant. It wasn't pleasant but then no illness is! I got over it and went on to have a perfectly healthy child

I had rotavirus at 36w.

personally I would mask up, and wash your hands when you leave. Not much more you can do.

I would go anyway but especially as she’s actually asking to see you. Just wear all the protective gear and take as many precautions as possible.

100% I would go!
You may regret it if you don't go!

Just ppe up and be extra careful with washing after.

Sorry you are going through this!

Mask, gloves, apron, wash all clothes after. Unless your nan is being sick around you there’s not much chance you would get it.

I would go.
I lived up north when pregnant with my ds2 and got on a national express coach at 41 weeks to see my grandad before he died.
I am pleased that I saw him and said goodbye. Was close to my grandparents.

If you'd be masked with an FFP3, gowned and gloved, I think I'd go. Particularly as she's asking to see you and she's end of life.

But I wouldn't take your toddler - no way will you be able to maintain proper infection control if you take her. Norovirus is absolutely grim, so you should do everything you to avoid getting it.

I would 100% go. Norovirus is highly unlikely to affect your baby.

I’d go.

be careful what you touch, don’t put anything in you mouth, and hot, thorough shower when you get home. Clean gloves of sanitise your hands before touching the steering wheel.

i’d be inclined to put a fresh set of clothes in a bag and quick change in a toilet on the way out.

I absolutely HATE feeling and being sick, so there's no way I would I'm afraid. I didn't see my grandparents in their final days, but i choose to remember them as they were ❤️

Update:
I called the midwife team at our local hospital. She listened and said. Go and say goodbye to your grandmother.

She said yes you might get it. But they have seen plenty of women come in with it, and give fluids and keep everything well monitored. She also said I can catch norovirus from going to shops or from my toddler. It's a winter bug.

I'm low risk pregnancy this time. My first wasn't as middle of covid and other health conditions.

I literally went and as soon as I left I washed all my hands, arms, face, glasses. Changed my clothes and shoes - middle of a dark car park and I was changing 😆 🤣 i stayed 5 minutes and that was more then enough for my nan. She had just been given some morphine so couldn't last much longer talking.

Antibacterial my hands and wipes all-over any skin shown. Probably overkill but I got my goodbye to my grandmother. She was pleased to see me and you could see the relief in her face ☺️

If I get it, then I get it. I'm at peace and so is my grandmother.

I never took my toddler and was certainly the right decision as it wasn't appropriate.

Oh I’m so happy you’ve+been able to see your Nan.

🤞🤞 you didn’t catch the bug either.

I'm glad you were able to see her

Well done you OP. You have definitely made the right choice. Your gran has been there for you all your life, putting you first and today you had to do this one thing for her and put her first. Good for you 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
All the best for when the inevitable happens. It is so so hard - I was in your shoes at Easter (although at home, not in hospital).

Go - I worked as a ward clerk on an elderly care ward for ages, we'd often have outbreaks of norovirus. I never caught it. Just be careful. You'll regret it if you don't.

Thank you 😊

I will know by Wednesday at the latest if I caught it. Fingers crossed 🤞