Baby on board badge tfl

[ellacharlotte]

What is everyone's experiences with wearing the tfl baby on board badge on the tube?

I'm 23 weeks pregnant and have just started wearing one and found it hardly makes a difference- people notice you and then pretend to not have seen you.

I am lucky and have had a relatively easy pregnancy and so do not always require a seat nor think I'm entitled to one every time, however peoples lack of manners has truly shocked me since I've started wearing the badge as I previously would have always given up my seat for anyone wearing a badge.

I found when I was heavily pregnant 25 odd years ago no-one gave up their seat for me I found. This was in SE outside of London. I remember one occasion when I was really struggling on a packed bus with barely anything to hold onto. Pregnancy turned me into a cowering wall flower for some odd reason (I am definitely not like that normally!) so wouldn't have said anything but wish someone had. Anyhow I doubt a badge would have made much difference if a large pregnant belly didn't do it.

I loved mine. I found that people were too engrossed in their phones/books/headphones that I pretty much always had to ask for a seat. Once I'd got their attention, I could point to my badge (as well as ask politely) and they'd understand even with headphones, non English speaking etc.

Can't understand anyone finding it embarrassing, shameful or attention seeking 🤷‍♀️

I had mixed responses when wearing it / lots of people looked up and pretended not to see, each expecting someone else to offer. I stopped wearing the badge in third trimester as I was obviously pregnant, and got many people kindly offering without me asking. I think some people will be more inclined to offer if you’re obviously showing.

They don't pay. Some ask, some don't. People aren't weak just because they aren't able to vocalise what they need in that moment.

But you seemed to have a problem with a woman who asked if I needed help then proceeded to help me. You went on to compare this to yourself, who didn't need help. Well done.

Wow of all the threads I was not expecting this one to be so mean spirited. It’s just a badge conveying some information not an ethical dilemma. Either stand up when you see a woman wearing one, or don’t, up to you.

But you seemed to have a problem with a woman who asked if I needed help then proceeded to help me. You went on to compare this to yourself, who didn't need help. Well done.
Not a problem, I just wondered why you felt you couldn't speak for yourself. That's great you felt helped and appreciated. And yes, I then compared to myself. That's usually how conversations about experiences go.

I still think it's rude to assume a stranger would appreciate anyone publicly assisting them when you don't know they want help and it would be far better to check first.

I can’t believe some of the nasty replies to this. I’m pregnant now and wearing my baby on board badge when commuting. I’m definitely not smug, and although I may look fit and healthy as per PP, i’m actually suffering with severe sickness and low iron. In my last pregnancy, I definitely felt much worse earlier on and needed a seat more before I had a proper bump and so people wouldn’t have been able to tell otherwise.

I was pregnant 18 years ago. Wore a badge but unless I asked suddenly people were visually impaired or stupid or both. But when I broke my ankle 4 years ago I had no problems getting a seat. Maybe the mobility aids helped?

Until about 30 weeks pregnant the time I most needed a seat was in my first trimester because I felt sick and exhausted all the time.

Absolutely agree with this. 6-12 weeks were really rough for me. Got quite light-headed in the first trimester. People don't realise you're pregnant at that point and the badge helps draw attention to it.

In my experience women nearly always gave up their seats. The men were shockingly indifferent.

My experience with the badge was generally positive.

i am petite and as soon as I learnt about my pregnancy I wore the badge. I am afraid I got elbow to my tummy and want more space .

if the carriage is full, I just stand - I am now second trimester , it’s good to have a seat not that I have to sit down. or I haven’t yet experienced the struggle as approaching the third trimester.

i luckily haven’t had bad experience - as in judging me not look like being pregnant etc.

I find men better at giving up their seats actually.

Teenagers of both sexes are utterly useless (as I’m sure I’d have been at that age!) People are better on the tube/train than the bus too in my experience.

I live in London, 33 weeks pregnant. I have never been offered a seat. I try to avoid using the tube because the heat is unbearable. I'm very obviously pregnant. Nobody has treated me differently, and I wouldn't expect them to. If I needed to sit down on public transport, I would just ask politely. I understand that when it's really busy, it might not be possible, so I feel like it is my responsibility to plan travel to avoid peak times.

That said, when I fainted whilst waiting in a queue in a shop, so many people came to help (all women). They gave me water, someone gave me an apple, another person actually bought my shopping (a birthday card), the staff got me a chair etc. I was overwhelmed by how kind people were.

Transport in my part of London isn't too bad post Covid but my badge was still on when we went to mass on Christmas Eve and a nice man helped find me a seat (it was very crowded). That's the only time the Baby on Board badge has got me a seat so far but I've only done one crowded tube service or train since having it so far tbf.

I have multiple disabilities (all invisible so I would look like a fit and healthy pregnant woman but am far from it). I also have a disability 'please offer me a seat' badge and had a lot of success with that previously on crowded trains. Otherwise, if the train is extra busy (e.g. because the previous train was cancelled) I either need to not board it at all or accept I will need to sit on the floor if I can't get a seat and have had to do so many times.

I don't see the Baby on Board badges as smug at all. I don't see them as any different to the disability 'please offer me a seat' badges or the sunflower lanyards people wear to indicate they may need more support. Lots of pregnant women struggle with dizziness, PGP etc. Pregnancy isn't exclusive to women who aren't disabled either and a pregnant woman may well be both disabled and pregnant.

Also, as someone with invisible disabilities who has had comments before about sitting in priority seats, I don't like asking a particular person if they are able to offer a seat as they may need it themselves and feel pressured to leave it.

That’s really your issue if you don’t feel confident enough to state clearly that you need the seat yourself.

Oh I would be confident to say I needed a seat but there will be others who aren't as a confident/whose disability makes it harder to speak up. I wouldn't want to put someone in that position directly. I'd rather just ask the carriage as a whole rather than pick on one person to specifically ask for a seat. Some people I know have a real need for a seat but due to autism and other neurodivergence would be unable to articulate their need and would feel pressured to give their seat up.

Quite a bad attitude @kitsuneghost. Even if you perceive someone to be a “fit healthy women”, she may have been standing as part of a longer journey, have a high risk pregnancy, nausea or bad pelvic pain. But hey, you look after number one mate. 🙌

I bumped into my GP on the London Underground once, 7m pregnant (visible bump and all), with a clear baby on board badge. She ignored it. Perhaps taking data protection laws/ not talking to patients outside the clinic, to a new insane level.

In many Eastern countries, men wouldn’t think twice about giving up their seats for any woman, let alone those that are visibly pregnant, or with a clear sign (such as a badge)! I guess imperialism doesn’t fix people’s own attitudes at home. (Generalisation I know, but this thread shows enough!)

I know - some people live in weird toxic little boxes.

Wow wasn't expecting this level of Discourse on a thread about Baby on Board badges. I wore one during peak hour and usually got offered a seat, alongside some hilarious avoidance - like the guy in the priority seat who clocked the badge, pretended to be asleep, then miraculous 'woke up' as soon as someone else offered me a seat. I found men in their late 20s-40s often gave up their seat; men over 50 were the absolute worst and I often sensed the attitude @kitsuneghost has given of resentment to the whole idea of giving up their seat to a smug pregnant person. 🤷‍♀️

But overall I think the badges are a great idea and I think a lot of people in this thread need to ring up their therapist to chat about their weird feelings about pregnant people, people who need to sit on public transport, and/or being out in public generally. London is a big, busy city. We're all just trying to get where we need to go.

I had more back and bump pain in the second trimester and it was winter so I wasn't visibly pregnant, so when I had a bad back I put the badge on and a young guy (maybe 20s) offered me his seat. In the third trimester I had a bump but was feeling fine so didn't put the badge on, but an older guy was stood by an empty seat and offered it to me before he took it. So I generally had a good experience on the tube, but I don't regularly use it.

I wear a badge and commute to London.
Trains are busy and people don’t readily give up a seat, so it is necessary to ask, which I can awkward.

Part of that awkwardness stems from comments like the above stating pregnant women with a badge are smug and not in need of they don’t have a bump. I actually felt faint and sick and unable to stand throughout my first trimester when I had no bump and a badge was really helpful in communication why I needed a seat.

Think we should use this as a prompt to support each other better x

I'd say the women in many "eastern" countries might like a few more equalities than just blokes treating them like fragile beings who need to sit down on a train tbf.

Even if you don’t look like your struggling doesn’t excuse the fact that you’re CARRYING A BABY!! If you want to be responsible for a woman falling or being barged into making her lose the baby then you do you but no matter how far through you are losing a baby is so easy.

I find them wanky and self absorbed. If you need a seat due to any reason (have a friend who feels faint if she stands for too long due to another condition), just ask.