Baby on board badge tfl

[ellacharlotte]

What is everyone's experiences with wearing the tfl baby on board badge on the tube?

I'm 23 weeks pregnant and have just started wearing one and found it hardly makes a difference- people notice you and then pretend to not have seen you.

I am lucky and have had a relatively easy pregnancy and so do not always require a seat nor think I'm entitled to one every time, however peoples lack of manners has truly shocked me since I've started wearing the badge as I previously would have always given up my seat for anyone wearing a badge.

I felt absolutely shit in the first trimester, and was wobbly as hell. Second and third, I was fine, just physically awkward.

I needed a seat way more in that first 12 weeks. Aisle surfing would have been a sure fire way to result in vomit on someone's Metro.

Loudly announce to the whole carriage you're pregnant and need a seat. Tad awkward and not very practical when it's rammed.
Expecting someone to notice a badge is far less practical than using your voice. You don't have to announce anything to the whole carriage, the nearest couple of people sat down will do.

I take no notice of priority seats. By which I mean I don't think being in a non-priority seat absolves me of any responsibility to give it up of someone else needs it. More than happy to give up my seat to anyone who asks for it, whatever the reason. I'm not going to start looking up from my book at every stop to scan new arrivals for random badges.

Exactly @HoHoHappy.

@HoHoHappy it is awkward - but on the tube the two Reserved spots are opposite each other. I'd address both at once and ask "do either of you not need this seat, because I need one" and inevitably someone would stand up, sometimes from a seat nearby rather than a reserved one.

I've fainted twice on the tube while pregnant, and two other times came close. I've had people rushing around and fussing over me. Londoners are lovely on the whole.

The badge did help give context to my fainting, I heard people say "is she OK? Oh she's pregnant!" So I'm a fan of the badges. If I'd puked up then it would have been clear I wasn't just drunk or whatever

Why are posters thinking that women wearing the badge suddenly consider themselves mute? I certainly don't. but if I have the badge on then someone who is comfortable standing can offer before I have to ask people in the priority seats, who may be there because they need them

I think the badges are great and not at all smug. I am perfectly capable of advocating for myself but still found it helpful to have a visual aid for others. Anyone who is less likely to offer a seat because you are wearing a badge is (hopefully) (a) in a v small minority and (b) needs to give their head a wobble.

I also wore mine in Paris a lot and found it equally helpful there. Had a lot of comments about how something equivalent on the metro would be appreciated.

As a regular tube commuter I really like it when women wear these. It means I can proactively offer my seat with worrying that I’m causing offence.

I’m only TTC but also assume that lots of women might be feeling unwell with pregnancy before they’re obviously showing.

Yep, I needed to sit more in the first trimester way before any visible bump. I never got badge, no reason why. That said, I used buses more so generally got a seat.
I don't think they're a sign of smugness, would be nice if people were a bit more aware if their surroundings! Incidentally, there are some which say something around "Please offer me a seat, not able to stand", I don't remember the exact wording and "Cancer on board". I would hope nobody would think them smug.

I wore one and people always offered me a seat. Although my bumps were huge, so not sure if they noticed the badge or just saw the bump!

I used one from around 6 months when visiting London (DP was working down there mon-fri at the time and I was teaching so I spent school holidays/half terms there throughout pregnancy).

I only used it when I had luggage, in fairness. Wasn't bothered so much if not, I just felt like if I had a bag and a case full of marking to do I was less stable than usual.

Most people were great and offered. The few that didn't didn't notice the badge (or me at all) or prioritised their kids sitting down. One particular woman allowed all 3 kids (not teeny) to sit down and put their feet and bags on seats next to them. Some people are just dicks, I guess.

So, yes - hit & miss BUT worth wearing, I think.

It's very unsupportive and quite patronising to women saying the badge is taking away from using their voice. Most people on the tube have earphones in and it can be socially an uncomfortable thing to have to ask.

Also as the point has been made on here already do you just single out a certain person who might have their own reasons for needing a seat?

The badge just fits into the hustle and bustle of the tube. At 23 weeks I am still far from being visibly pregnant especially in winter with coats and scarves it's just an easy way for people to know- I am just shocked at peoples lack of politeness that comes with it.

Agree. Also, in current times you can’t just assume a woman with a belly is pregnant.

I was living and working in London during my first pregnancy. Didn’t show much before I gave up work but really suffered nausea from the depth of the northern line, and not only in the 1st trimester. Luckily we lived half way between a tube and an overground station so I had a choice

I live in London and commute twice a week, plus travelling around at a weekend. Ive worn mine both pregnancies since around 12weeks. My experience has generally been that people do clock the badge and offer up a seat without me saying anything on my normal route (Northern line). If im on a more touristy route (eg. Circle or District), people just dont bother. Ive always assumed this is people not knowing what they are for, rather than being deliberate arses (though judging by some of the comments on this thread, maybe i was wrong!!).

My DH says he finds it massively helpful to avoid offending anyone by offering them a seat if they were in fact not pregnant / needed a priority seat.

Ive been heavily pregnant in winter and in summer. People have been less quick to offer in the winter, which I think as pp have said, is down to bulky clothes hiding the bump. But I have liked to sit from the start as I'm RH negative and frankly traipsing to hospital to get anti-D if the train suddenly stops and I fall is MUCH more of a hassle. I generally stand for one stop and if no-one gets off or has offered me a seat, at that point i ask someone to give up their seat.

I think what people don't realise on the tube is you literally can't get through a rush hour crowd safely with a massive pregnant belly. Well, I didn't realise that prior to having one. So for me it wasn't that I needed a seat per se, it was more like I needed to stay near the door (ideally in a seat so no one jabbed me in the belly). The tube is vicious! In terms of the badge, I did find it made a difference but most of the time it was women who had clearly been in the same position themselves who offered me a seat rather than younger people or men.

I sometimes had to tap people on the shoulder to get them to move. Men more than women seemingly tried to avoid my eye contact. I have zero issue asking people to move, people are vile if they don’t!

With these threads I never understand why, if you need the seat because of exhaustion, pelvic pain etc, you don't just ask someone.

It does feel a little like using one of these badges is a 'right' of pregnancy these days. If you don't need the seat, pregnant or not, then you don't ask. If you do need it then do.

Sitting just because you are pregnant is a bit special snowflake though.

I commute with my toddler on the overground every day - am 20 weeks - i have the buggy and have a lot of steps to get up each way! I find people have been more helpful now i have my badge - usually someone will carry my buggy up for me while I carry my 2 year old!

On the actual train I don't actually want a seat as find it easier to stand next to the door as it gets very busy right before my stop and I find it more difficult to get out if we've moved into the train to a seat! I decline the seat and just say no thanks im happy at the door as need to get off in a few stops - but I have found people tend to give me a bit more space with the badge!

On the bus I always get offered a seat with my badge

also for me im more wanting the seat usually on a busy train / bus or tube as im a bit afraid of being knocked or squished or something rather than needing a seat - sometimes the tube is actually terrifying when people pile on and theres a bit of a crush - i've been shoved right into the train and nearly fell loads of times and have peoples bags pushed right up against me etc

Sitting just because you are pregnant is a bit special snowflake though not really, pregnancy even when easy is hard, let women sit! - I would always offer a seat to a pregnant woman, an elderly person, or someone with young children- it’s called decency !

If someone looked ill and faint I would definitely give them a seat
Not just if they are standing there wearing a naff badge

Weird. When i wasn’t visibly pregnant I felt at my worst. I was exhausted, weak, nauseous, close to fainting at any second. Non of that was visible from the outside though, I looked like a fit healthy(ish) woman. Now I’m showing more I feel great and probably wouldn’t need or want the seat, or the badge.
What an odd take to only give a seat to women who are showing and also not wearing a badge, because they have annoyed you less.

@kitsuneghost how can you necessarily tell if someone is feeling ill or faint? I suffered with low blood pressure throughout my pregnancy and frequently felt dizzy, lightheaded and sometimes a bit nauseous, even when sitting. Even my DH couldn’t tell when I was having a bad spell. So how would you as a randomer on the tube ‘tell’? Being able to sit easily and not have to guilt someone out of their seat because, to recall earlier posts, I otherwise look like a healthy young woman and for a long time wasn’t visibly pregnant, would help prevent the worst episodes and the badge helps give a cue to others. I would also ask if I needed to sit so the idea that it silences women is moot.

I agree generally with the idea that pregnant women aren’t ill, but equally it’s something physically taxing for a lot of women. Being able to sit can mean I have more energy for the rest of my day, maybe hold off a dizzy spell, or prevent a bad night of pelvic pain due to lots of standing. All issues that have only affected me once pregnant. So yes, if I want a seat I’ll have one and it doesn’t make me or any other woman a snowflake.

I would happily give up my seat to anyone who looks like they need it or who uses theor voice and asks. Even if I notice a badge I wouldn't offer a seat unless asked.

I wouldn't not offer you a seat because you are wearing a badge but I wouldn't offer you one because you are wearing it either.

Exactly. I've got cancer and wear a "please offer me a seat" badge. I look like a perfectly normal 40 year old but I'm in constant, often severe, pain and can't stand for more than a few minutes. My badge makes me feel less awkward about not offering my seat to people with more obvious impediments.

Plenty of women feel absolutely rotten through pregnancy, and there's also the risk of falling or being barged into so I absolutely think they're entitled to sit down.

If no one has offered you a seat, ask the people in the priority seats if they need them? Its not difficult