Baby on board badge tfl

[ellacharlotte]

What is everyone's experiences with wearing the tfl baby on board badge on the tube?

I'm 23 weeks pregnant and have just started wearing one and found it hardly makes a difference- people notice you and then pretend to not have seen you.

I am lucky and have had a relatively easy pregnancy and so do not always require a seat nor think I'm entitled to one every time, however peoples lack of manners has truly shocked me since I've started wearing the badge as I previously would have always given up my seat for anyone wearing a badge.

I don’t find the badges needy or smug at all, I think they’re really sweet and would always offer my seat if I noticed one!

On a related issue DD had spinal surgery last year and once she was on her feet got a "Please offer me a seat" badge. I can't imagine anyone offering her a seat without it as she looked like a normal healthy teenager. We still got some weird looks when she slowly levered herself in and out of the seat too.

I’m in my first trimester and feel no shame in wearing one!

I’m constantly nauseous, exhausted and dizzy and also have multiple hidden illnesses. You wouldn’t know from looking at me. My commute is over an hour each way. If needed I can ask but people tend to give me a seat when they see the badge. I wear it through the station also after having many people nearly slam into me because I can’t walk as fast as usual.

As a regular tube commuter I like the badges as it takes the guess work out of things. I once offered my seat to a lady who looked 6m pregnant. Only she wasn’t. It was mortifying.

When I was pregnant I wore one. Some days I would ask for a seat if I felt dreadful. I would ask generally and politely in the priority area ‘I’m sorry to ask but I wondered if I could sit down as I feel quite unwell’ Only a handful of times but was never turned down.

There will always be those that disagree with you, no matter what you do. TFL provide them for a good reason, I don’t see smugness at all.

Some of you would hate me. If I am also standing and see a woman with a badge struggling to catch the attention of someone sitting in the priority seat, I often intervene and say something like "This lady's pregnant, are you able to give her that seat?"

Some people are just too shy to speak up. I'm not shy.

@TheSkyWasMadeOfAmethyst sorry to hear that, cancer is shit and I've learnt cancer patients can look perfectly welI whilst feeling terrible and being in a lotbof pain. I had breast cancer and the kitchen sink treatment back in 2021 into early 2022. Luckily, most of my treatment was at my local hospital so avoided any tube trips.
I never knew the existence of those badges until I met a man in the Radiotherapy department at UCLH wearing one.
All badges are worn for valid reasons.

I suspect a lot of the unsupportive responses on this thread belong to women who don't have to do a long daily commute with debilitating pelvic pains.

You didn't wear a badge. Good for you. Some of us actually need, rather than want, the sympathy.

I was standing up once, badge clearly visible, on a packed train. Pelvic pain was at its worst. Lots of young fit men, many in cycling gear, just sitting there pretending not to see me. One lady who was also standing asked me if I needed a seat and then announced to the carriage that someone needed to give one to me. I was embarrassed but so, so grateful.

I think they are a good idea. I felt terrible in early pregnancy, when I didn’t look pregnant and one of these badges would have been helpful. Also I’m happy to give up my seat but don’t want to upset anyone by offering my seat too a woman with a big tum!

But what was stopping you asking yourself?

A member of TfL staff on the platform once saw me waiting and announced she'd get me a seat when the train came in. I said there was no need but she ignored me, got on before me and announced to the carriage I needed a seat. Another time a stranger on a train saw me standing and took it on herself to berate the woman in the priority seat that she should have stood up.

Neither time was I grateful, I was mortified that I had been made to appear that I was incapable of voicing my own needs and made it clear to both of them I was pissed off with them for treating me like an incapable child.

Good for you. You were mortified. You felt like an incapable child. Many of us don't feel the same. Not every pregnancy is the same, just like not every disability is the same. Stop projecting.

You were pissed off and giving out to people trying to help you? Yes, that sounds pretty childish.

I'm autistic and could never bring myself to ask someone for a seat. I don't have that level of ability.

So while pregnancy doesn't refer pejole mute, some of us are already there before getting pregnant.

I used to have a Daily commute across 3 tube lines for 20 years. My experience was anyone with these badges would have people clamouring to offer seats. Never seen a woman with one stand ever, except on one occasion when a woman squeezed herself on an already packed train and was hemmed in by the doors. She yelled and whined about how people wouldn't move so she could get a seat as she was pregnaaaaannnnt. Several people exclaimed back to her that it was impossible for anyone to move anywhere never mind allow her through to the seating area.

I didn’t get one, but once my bump was showing I was really touched by how thoughtful other commuters were.

I don’t think you always need to sit down when you are pregnant though. If you feel unwell and need to sit you could ask someone. I felt great mid term.

You were pissed off and giving out to people trying to help you? Yes, that sounds pretty childish.
When I'd said to both of them to please stop because if I wanted a seat I would ask myself and they carried on because they thought they knew better than me? Yes I was pissed off.

I've had mixed. One woman in rush hour made a point of making sure I got her seat because so many people were clearly wanting it. Once they saw why, they sort of accepted it, in a huff. But generally people have been nice.
If I don't need a seat, I make a point of saying thank you, I'm ok or getting off at the next stop, sometimes it's just more comfortable to stand.

The comment about a fit and healthy pregnant person..... someone may "look" ok, but believe me, I'm fit and healthy but I can't even begin to explain the pain and discomfort I feel on a daily basis. I'm basically trying to survive the day. Each trimester has thrown new symptoms at me so please don't judge some because they "look" ok!
The tube in rush hour is bad enough as it is.

The badge has been useful in other places where maybe my bump isnt so obvious and people have given me a wider berth which has been nice when say, out shopping in a crowded place, so while I hate wearing it, I've found people to be nicer and more understanding (especially if I'm walking slow)

But those of us who are struggling and happy to take the help are wrong?

Sorry, your responses are just unsupportive to women who may be physically and mentally exhausted by pregnancy. You aren't any better just because you didn't happen to fall into that category.

Im having quite a tough pregnancy - backache, loads of sickness and general misery - and love my badge. I’ve found people really nice and helpful - bar the young woman yesterday in the priority seat with a dog who just stared at me.

It will be abused by fatties chancing their luck to get a seat.

It’s not always twee or sanctimonious. I would assume someone resorting to wearing a badge would be doing so because they were struggling to stand and had a genuine need other than just being pregnant - maybe they have SPD or varicose veins or something.

I wouldn’t hesitate to offer my seat but I might not notice as I rarely look at other passengers on the train or tube unless they’re doing something annoying. 🤷

But those of us who are struggling and happy to take the help are wrong
Not at all. If you're happy to have someone speak for you and don't find that infantalising great. Doesn't make me wrong either for being pissed off about it when it happened to me.

No, I don't find it infantalising. I have a job where I advocate for others on a daily basis and don't see them as infants either. What a sad view of the world.

But presumably those people have either paid you to advocate for them or you have otherwise checked that they want you to. You don't go round assuming you should do so for an individual and doing so publicly. Very different.

If I saw someone who might need a seat and it looked like they might be not sure how to ask I would ask them if they wanted me to ask for them. I wouldn't just do it. I wouldn't be so rude and presumptuous.

I think it’s ok to wear one but I wouldn’t expect people to move for me. I’d ask people to move from priority seats if I felt I needed a seat.

Totally agree! I look out for the badges, and it saves me wondering “is she or isn’t she” and worrying that I’m going to offend some poor woman who (like me) just has a less than flat stomach.

I wore mine throughout my first pregnancy- I had awful morning sickness for six months and had a 1 hour commute each way. Don’t think I ever got offered a seat but people tended to give me a bit more space stood up in crowded carriages and when I asked someone if I could sit in their seat it was immediately obvious why I was asking.

Honestly don’t understand why people think the badges are ‘smug’. I think the people who do tend to be those “I had a four hour daily commute and worked 60 hours a week up until my due date and I was fine! You’re pregnant, not sick!” Types. And actually a lot of us are really sick whilst pregnant.