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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Positive birth stories please - so nervous

97 replies

janbaby24 · 27/12/2023 17:49

Please be kind. I'm so nervous of giving birth and have a fear of having a very painful, horrible or near death experience.

I keep seeing so many traumatic birth experiences on here and I'm getting so scared. I am 35 weeks pregnant and I have no idea what to expect, except pain! Please can somebody give me their positive birth experiences so I can read them in the lead up to delivery.

Thank you 😞

OP posts:
snoopy18 · 27/12/2023 17:56

I had a positive experience with first & that was with an induction at 37&6 too. Couldn’t have asked for a better labour & delivery! Gas & air & surges or contractions through the night. Manage to get some sleep which helped a lot. I would highly recommend doing a hypnobirthing course online or offline if you haven’t already as it will help prepare you and your mindset around labour & delivery too. Hoping for a great experience again second time round in March. Also watching positive labour & delivery videos on YouTube I found super helpful!

Pollyparkin · 27/12/2023 17:59

I had an amazing birth with my first and pretty straightforward with my second. Just very fast for the second.
First, mild contractions (after a large coffee) watching blackadder. Went to bed with two paracetamol. Got up and had a wee and waters popped. Went to hospital 4.39am and they said we could go home but it was a 45 minute drive so we stayed. Hopped in the pool but got out as I felt a bit strange and baby's heart rate was dipping. Turns out his head was nearly out and he was born shortly afterwards. Was lovely

confusedrn · 27/12/2023 18:09

I felt the same way with my first (and to some degree my second! Point being you can't necessarily "cure" this totally!)
I highly recommend hypnobirthing. Look into courses near you if you can. It helped me to learn some excellent techniques for mind over matter and helped me feel more in control of things. Good luck. You WILL be fine but I'm sorry you are feeling this way x

Angharad78 · 27/12/2023 18:12

elective section at 40 wks. In and out of hospital in 36 hours. Bit sore afterwards but all manageable with strong pain killers for first couple of days then paracetamol. Baby was a bit of a shock to the system but we got used to him! Doesn’t need to be a horror story.

Plumful · 27/12/2023 18:15

I really suggest quickly doing the positive birth company’s hypnobirthing digital pack. It will help you calm down and feel more empowered.

Torganer · 27/12/2023 18:28

CS booked for 39w, but went into labour at 38w. Had to wait a few hours for a slot, but it was the most magical experience of my life. Labour was a bit painful, but I had had and air. Once the spinal block went in, it was amazing. Had our music on, so relaxing, husband was there holding my hand. Our baby was plonked on my chest straight away, had a quick cuddle and my husband went to cut to the cord and they weighed etc. has skin to skin for as long as wanted (ended up being the whole time we were there and the baby fed whilst I was being stitched up). Was there in total for under 24hrs. No scar pain, took the painkillers (paracetamol and ibuprofen) religiously for 3 days just in case and was walking around the park and had a swift half in the local pub on day 3. One of the best experiences of my life and no pain at all (apart from initial labour pains).

Bigwetfish · 27/12/2023 18:30

Plumful · 27/12/2023 18:15

I really suggest quickly doing the positive birth company’s hypnobirthing digital pack. It will help you calm down and feel more empowered.

I would definitely second this - the PBC online hypnobirthing course was money well spent. I found it really helpful and it allayed a lot of my fears. Even though I didn't get the birth that I'd hoped for, I felt empowered to advocate for myself and I found the breathing technique (using the app to count) really helped. Best of luck!

Roollie · 27/12/2023 19:06

I have had 2 very positive births.

1st was very long and I was exhausted by the end. But it was a lovely water birth and all went well. I did get a tear but this was minor in the grand scheme of things and I had my new beautiful baby to hold whilst they did it.

2nd time had baby at home. 3 hours start to finish. All went well, I did tear again but not a big deal, midwives left within 2 hours and I then got comfy in bed.

My sister also had a very positive water birth and a positive planned section. My friend had 2 home births. Thinking off top of my head I don't know anyone who had a particularly traumatic birth.

Remember, people always talk about the negatives (not just births but everything!) People rarely talk about the positives.

brokenbitbybit · 27/12/2023 19:09

I briefly watched a few hypnobirthing videos on YouTube, it helped me to understand the foundations of hypnobirthing.

I know I'm going to sound weird but I enjoyed the pain of labour, what helped me is when a contraction came, 8 puffs on the gas and air and the pain was over. Every number puff I visualised with flowery numbers. Had two natural deliveries both under two hours.

Remember, your body is made to do this, it knows what to do. Every time you feel the pain, your body is doing what it's supposed to!

Rosiiee · 27/12/2023 19:10

My first delivery was fab! Really quick labour (went in at 2am, bub born at 10am), no drugs, no assisted birth, only a few stitches.

My mistake was waiting too long to ask for pain relief. By the time I asked, it was too late. Ask early, trust the midwives, trust your body. I just knew when to push and what to do and hadn’t taken any classes.

The pain is out of this world and I honestly thought I was going to die from it so no point denying the pain but the point is I survived! You can do it mama!

Wheeeesht · 27/12/2023 19:11

Hi. I've had 4 wonderful homebirths. No pain relief. I lived it every time!

ILookAtTheFloor · 27/12/2023 19:13

I was so terrified of birth for my eldest and subsequently was very tense which made it all worse but I still did it with g&a and was fine.

My second and third were both home births with g&a only, it was intense both times but definitely manageable and not super painful as such. The sensations were uncomfortable but positive- I'd done a lot of research into hypnobirth.

SiennaMillar · 27/12/2023 19:14

Good luck OP! I am expecting my second baby soon and I wouldn’t exactly say I’m looking forward to the birth, but I’m not terrified either.

You are not unreasonable to fear a very painful birth or near death experience. There’s no easy way to do it! However, try and rest assured, that there are very effective interventions available. Don’t risk birth trauma - mental or physical - if you’re not happy with the birth, listen to your body, speak up, and ask for intervention asap.

I had a wonderful ELCS, like PP have said, no pain, left 24 hours later with just the occasional paracetamol, and a very calm, happy baby.

BliniLover · 27/12/2023 19:16

I mean the chances are it will hurt a lot at some point if you are not having CS or epidural - I think it's important to be prepared for that. BUT the pain has a purpose and I think that psychologically that makes it easier to endure than other pain iyswim.

My first was quick and straightforward, gas and air, small tear (which I didn't notice happening) and no complications. My second was even quicker, no tears.

My top tip - REALLY breathe the gas and air if you are using it. Take massive breaths and suck as much into your lungs as you can. I did this so much better the second time and it made a big difference.

Applesandpears23 · 27/12/2023 19:21

Gas and air is fab. I had a really nice second birth at home in a birth pool. I enjoyed the gas and air and listening to music whilst rocking on all 4s.

My top tip from my first birth is not to get over excited too early and rest more. I walked around a lot in early labour and got over tired. Second time around any time I had braxton hicks or felt a twitch that might have been a contraction I lay down for a nap just in case. If it is really labour you can’t sleep through it and feel the urge to get up. Wait for that feeling before you get excited.

Icelandic9 · 27/12/2023 19:26

I've given birth twice, both straightforward

Both times I was 40+ a few days, started naturally, and gave birth vaginally within 7-8 hours

Slight tear the first time so needed stitches, just a bit of grazing the second time

It is very painful, but i coped with the pain with gas and air for both

Water birth for the first and I would highly recommend that if you're able to have a pool

You don't usually have people coming on mumsnet to talk about their non traumatic births, so you'll definitely see a lot more negative experiences browsing on here.

I really hope you have a straightforward and safe experience op

Try to relax as much as you can

Rosiiee · 27/12/2023 19:29

Totally different experience than @Applesandpears23 ! I had horrible contractions and the midwife put me in a hot bath. Still no pain relief which was dumb of me! But the hot bath helped so much, I got out and fell asleep. She came in to do a cervix exam and I was 10cm dilated!! I think I was just so exhausted from the pre-labour days and build up to birth! This all without g&a or any other pain relief except paracetamol. So keep in mind OP that contractions might not be as bad as you think 😊

cbbo · 27/12/2023 19:31

Your body is literally designed to birth a baby so don't be scared!
100% also recommend looking into an online or in person hypnobirthing course. It's invaluable!
My labour was not 'as I had imagined' ie water birth. I ended up having an epidural and ventouse delivery, BUT I was in control, I was well informed at all times, I made all the decisions and knew all my options at all times. The care I received from the midwives was amazing. So overall I also had a very positive experience.

Namesareimpossible · 27/12/2023 19:39

39+3, woke up with contractions 3 in 10 mins at 5:30am. They didn't hurt too much or last very long though. Went into hospital at 3pm and was 1cm so sent home. At this point the contractions lasted about a minute but to be honest didn't hurt more than bad period pain. I used the tens machine at this point.

As soon as I got home at about 4 the pain ramped up and we headed back to the hospital at 5ish as I thought I'd need an epidural if 1cm was this painful! Turns out I was 10cm and ready to push! They took gas and air off me for pushing but I asked for it back for the final push which helped.

My main thing through pregnancy was to not think about the birth until it was happening which really helped my mindset. I used some hypnobirthing/NCT principles such as thinking of every contraction as a wave and took a deep breath in knowing that the breath out would be the decline of the contraction. I also thought of every contraction as one less that I had to go through. I knew I would get anxious if I thought about it too much before hand but I honestly found it fine (painful, but fine).

Northsideoftheriver · 27/12/2023 19:40

Last birth was the best one.
Sports drinks, brilliant things
Positive self talk, I had a determination that helped me, being in the right frame of mind.
Watch the trace/recording of the contraction. When you see the rise happen, start the gas and air. Really get into it for that peak of the contraction it will take the edge off. As another poster said really breathe in deep. Use the bouncy ball thing it really helps.
You're tougher than you think you are!
There will be a peak when you think you can't do it anymore, that's the bit right before you will give birth. You might feel need to poo. It's ok, go with it. If you poo so what? They've seen it all before.
The contractions are like a very bad period pain or stitch that travels in a band around your back and tummy. You absolutely can deal with them. It might hurt for a couple of mins or less each contraction but it's completely possible with gas and air.
I never believed I would but I did it without epidural and felt better for it. I could feel to push.
Some of those pushes weirdly feel quite good. So it's not all bad.
Keep thinking of that moment when you hold baby. It will get you there.

shakeitoffsis · 27/12/2023 19:44

2 inductions at 37 weeks, 2 hour labour and 48 minute labour. Just gas and air as was so fast.

ArchetypalBusyMum · 27/12/2023 19:44

Trust your body.
My first and second birth were very similar. 6 hours start to finish, straight forward, no interventions necessary, no stitches, gas and air pain relief was enough.
No one knows what to expect in advance of course, but some people do just have a straight forward birth, so try not to let the worry gnaw on you. Use distraction to take your mind off it every time you feel your thoughts start to worry, distract yourself anyway you can. When all is said and done you can't plan this but the more you can try to relax the better.

RedRobyn2021 · 27/12/2023 19:46

Have you done any hypnobirthing courses?

I really recommend Birth ed, they have a course, they also have a very interesting (and helpful) podcast. They're also on instagram.

I had my one and so far only DD at home, I laboured on the floor of my bedroom, then I got into a pool in my lounge and gave birth to her. I didn't have any drugs, it did hurt at times, but when I got into the water my body naturally relaxed and the pain lifted. Birth itself isn't anything to be afraid of, the only thing I was afraid of was the birthing system because it's them who sabotage most women's experiences. The worst thing you can do is not do the homework on birth, so follow my advice and look at the above.

RedRobyn2021 · 27/12/2023 19:47

I actually did the positive birth company course and it did help me, I didn't do it until I was about 35 weeks. I was busy at work and the time got away from me. But you definitely need to do more than that. You have time but you need to educate yourself.

ArchetypalBusyMum · 27/12/2023 19:48

I even know a lady who has 2 cervices and even her birth was ok and straightforward if you don't count every medical student in the place asking to come and have a look up her fanjo