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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Positive birth stories please - so nervous

97 replies

janbaby24 · 27/12/2023 17:49

Please be kind. I'm so nervous of giving birth and have a fear of having a very painful, horrible or near death experience.

I keep seeing so many traumatic birth experiences on here and I'm getting so scared. I am 35 weeks pregnant and I have no idea what to expect, except pain! Please can somebody give me their positive birth experiences so I can read them in the lead up to delivery.

Thank you 😞

OP posts:
KThnxBye · 27/12/2023 19:48

I would give birth again tomorrow. I loved it. Giving birth is great, the single most satisfying thing you will ever do. The high is something else.

I don’t like being touched by anyone, being stared at/talked about or being the centre of any attention, so I made sure that those things didn’t happen and then I was set. Lovely babies. No injuries. No emergencies. All my living children were an absolute joy to birth. Pregnancy on the other hand, sucked….

ColourByNumbers88 · 27/12/2023 19:51

I'm another positive hypnobirth story. It is so worth the money. It teaches you how your body works during birth and will help you feel in control, the signs to look out for, breathing techniques etc. it's a birth education course.

I had a great birth. I was out for dinner the night before. Woke the next morning and my water's broke. I stayed at home for a few hours and the contractions increased. Travelled to hospital (that was a bit nerve wracking as I was a bit anxious they'd turn me away). I was 6cm dilated. Admitted to a room and used a birthing pool and remarkably used no pain relief at all. Good luck OP, your own body will amaze you. You just need to learn how it works.

LightSpeeds · 27/12/2023 19:51

I was also terrified of giving birth and shook with fear most of the way through my first labour. (I'm terrified of blood, needles, everything.)

However, I went on to have five children all naturally and with no pain relief (apart from the first).

Only my second birth felt a bit traumatic (fast and v. painful).

Otherwise, it was all great really (third birth was so easy I was actually embarrassed 😂)!

GOOD LUCK!!!

beckyCarlos · 27/12/2023 19:51

Another positive story here :) went into hospital at 40 weeks exactly for an induction, some slight period pains after a stretch and sweep the previous day, no space to be induced but stayed in waiting...

Period pains kept gettinf stronger, at 6pm was 2cm dilated, put tens machine on, used hypnobirthing breathing and affirmations to get through (but surges very manageable!). Got closer together and stronger throughout the evening, kept turning tens up and breathing, also walked round the hospital which I'd definitely recommend, if your body wants to - keep moving! Lying on my back was a solid no as it hurt so much more!

I didnt recieve another internal exam after that (because I 'wasnt in enough pain, and too coherent 🙄 ) but from about 11.30pm I was thinking 'jesus if I'm only 4cm ima need an epidural' and couldnt really talk through the surges anymore but I felt something change about 1.30am so went to the loo and got an overwhelming urge to push, but still no true broken waters, no leaking or gush! (kinda like the urge to throw up when you're sick - its got to happen), waddled back to my bed, my husband got the midwife who still tried to tell me baby wasnt coming (i was squatting on the floor!), they got me on the bed somehow and I was 10cm and baby's head was visible! They ran me down the corridor to delivery and baby was born at 2.04am after max 10 pushes and 30s of gas and air.

My advice would be, trust your body, and demand an exam if you're feeling dismissed! But you can do it! It'll be hard, but you can. And like someone said above, noone ever talks about the 'good' births! X

Cherrycola44 · 27/12/2023 20:09

You can ask for a caesarean if you would like one. It's called a maternal request caesarean birth. My sister did this as she felt so anxious about giving birth.

Labour wasn't as painful as I expected so I was 9cm dilated by the time I got to the hospital! I got into a warm birthing pool which took the edge off. I also had gas and air which was amazing.

I ended up having a caesarian in the end as things were not progressing. It was painless. I was surrounded by an amazing team of doctors and nurses.

You will be fine and it will all be worth it.

Hibernatalie · 27/12/2023 20:11

Hupnobirthing!! Get into it now. Take all the drugs. You'll be fine.

The birth of my son was the single most empowering experience of my life.

queenmeadhbh · 27/12/2023 20:15

I had a brilliant experience!
Sweep at 38+6 due to gestational diabetes bloods going haywire (I declined at 37+6 but agreed a week later as I felt ready to pop and the bloods hadn’t got better despite insulin injections), also ate a hot curry, next morning started with back pains and some cramps, increasing in intensity and urgency by 7pm, by 8pm I was in the bath breathing, by 10 pm I suddenly realised the contractions were back to back and I felt his head drop suddenly 😬😬😬 at hospital by 10:30pm, they made me wait to be examined despite me shouting that I was about to bloody give birth 🤣😂 when they got me on the table they were like yep 10cm get her upstairs!! Then my waters broke, they raced me upstairs to delivery suite (husband sprinting alongside with all my stuff), I think maybe 20 mins of hard pushing, bit of gas and air, LOTS of insane bellowing (from me), then he was here by 11:30pm. It was honestly fine. They cut me so I didn’t tear and the stitches healed fine.

i think I was lucky but also I got into the zone and was so relaxed, just trusting my body. YOU CAN DO THIS!!

Dazedandbemused · 27/12/2023 20:17

I've had one birth, which was pretty quick with no pain relief apart from using a tens machine on my back.
I'm not gonna lie, it hurt, but I found it manageable. I believed I could do it. I found Ina Mays guide to childbirth book helpful, in helping me making the connection that I could do this wonderful thing.
My tip would be about at home as long as you can, get in the bath, that helped. I gave birth in a massive London hospital with a very busy ward so didn't want to be in there for hours... Obviously it was just luck that I wasn't.
I did end up with a forceps delivery as heart rate was dipping, and even though this intervention wasn't as I'd planned, it was done very quickly and the pure elation afterwards meant I got past it quickly. Yes I had an episiotomy and was cleanly stitched, healed well and you'd never know now. I felt super human for a good week after that I had done this amazing thing!

Telling this detail so you know even if it isn't a straight forward birth, intervention isn't a bad thing and you'll be well looked after. Although I didn't have pain relief for the birth I had local anesthetic for stitches so make sure to request if necessary.
Good luck! Make yourself as informed as possible for all scenarios... Giving birth is an extraordinary thing, and it happens every day and you can do it!

NotAllowed · 27/12/2023 20:19

Second this, or read/listen to the hypnobirthing book by Siobhan Miller

babysoupdragon2 · 27/12/2023 20:24

Two vaginal births, one was an induction.

I wouldn't describe giving birth as pleasant but honestly they were about the most empowering thing I've ever done. I was so bloody proud of myself and my body, I honestly felt a bit superhuman (think the endorphins hit me hard.) I had absolutely wonderful midwives for both births, I felt safe.

ChequeredPastel · 27/12/2023 20:25

I would have another baby in a heart beat for more gas and air 😂 problem is I can’t afford another one long term 😂 but gas and air is bloody lovely. Like being absolutely hammered but you can stop being drunk immediately if you just stop breathing it.

first birth was bloody awful, but only because I wasn’t listened to. Not because of what happened. The three that followed were lovely and relaxed and perfect. Just keep repeating to yourself that people go back for more!!!

tempnameforadvice · 27/12/2023 20:26

I had the most amazing time with my elective c section. It turned out I needed it anyway due to several pregnancy related conditions but it was so calm, so quick and so relaxed and I recovered so well I'd do it again in a heartbeat!!

PermanentTemporary · 27/12/2023 20:30

My first and only birth was the most straightforward process imaginable. At 4pm I had a sweep, at 630pm I was in McDonald's buying a burger thinking 'better have something to eat, it feels like i might be starting to feel these contractions', at 10pm i was in a water bath on the labour ward and at 11.15 ds was born. Obviously there was more to it than that, but honestly, it is doable, you will get through it 💐

Whiskerson · 27/12/2023 20:40

Positive experience due to epidural.

It's completely fine to just do that. Talk to your midwife about it.

And don't let people whip you into a state of panic and distrust being scared of hospitals, doctors, modern medicine and whatnot. Build a trusting relationship with the professionals who are there to look after you. Talk to them about your concerns. Remember it's only a few hours of your life, too. All the best.

tealandteal · 27/12/2023 20:47

I would also recommend a hypnobirthing course. Also look up the spinning babies website. I have 2 children, one born at 40+2 and one born at 40 weeks exactly. 8 hours/8.5 hours from first contraction to baby being born, just used a TENS machine and also had a birthing pool with the first but not born in the water. Just don’t get too hung up on how you want the birth to go-absolutely have your boundaries but whatever happens you’ll do an amazing job, so if you end up with something different to what you expected don’t let it interfere with the precious time with your baby.

queenmeadhbh · 27/12/2023 20:48

ChequeredPastel · 27/12/2023 20:25

I would have another baby in a heart beat for more gas and air 😂 problem is I can’t afford another one long term 😂 but gas and air is bloody lovely. Like being absolutely hammered but you can stop being drunk immediately if you just stop breathing it.

first birth was bloody awful, but only because I wasn’t listened to. Not because of what happened. The three that followed were lovely and relaxed and perfect. Just keep repeating to yourself that people go back for more!!!

YESSS on the gas and air! It’s like that moment when the booze finally catches up with you and you find yourself absolutely plastered, but it lasts for 10 seconds 🤣

MargotBamborough · 27/12/2023 20:50

I recommend getting a low dose epidural once you're in active labour. Just enough to take the edge off the pain but not so much that you can't move around.

Nutellaonall · 27/12/2023 20:55

Had elective sections with my second and third babies. Lovely and calm experiences and recovery was fine. Can’t recommend enough.

ArchetypalBusyMum · 27/12/2023 22:56

Tens machine is brilliant. Took me right through to the final pushes.

Globules · 27/12/2023 23:20

2 very positive births for me. I absolutely loved the experience both times and would happily give birth again. But I'm done with child rearing!

You hear it said repeatedly, but your body truly does know what it's doing. I didn't believe it until it happened to me. Go with it. Trust your body. Remember that each contraction takes you one step closer to meeting your baby. For me, the contractions were like my teenage period pains... Significantly painful, but bearable.

I had both mine vaginally without pain relief. My first, contractions started at 5am. They were born 11.45am. I had them standing up, which was a big thing twenty years ago. I hear it's now encouraged. My second, contractions started at 5.30am. My first painful contraction was at 7am. They were born at 7.20am.

I can remember every part of both births with a massive smile. My body kicked up a gear when it was ready to. I went with it every time. And the orgasmic feeling when they're born is like nothing you'll ever experience! The massive rush of chemicals...oh my word. I'm smiling at the memory.

Relax into it and enjoy as much as you can. Keep away from negative threads about birth and remember that lots of us had really good experiences. All the best.

Urgenthelplease · 27/12/2023 23:24

I had two great births both vaginal. One was induced though I had started labour naturally but felt reduced movements. Had an epidural to cope with the pain and highly recommend. Second was so fast there wasn't time for pain relief beyond gas and air. Felt fully recovered on around day 3.

Thankyouthankyoujellybean · 27/12/2023 23:32

This is a bit odd perhaps but I absolutely loved my episiotomy. It meant that I tore in the right direction (i.e. away from my bum) and had no long term issues. I didn't appreciate that that's why it was done at the time, but now that I do I'm so grateful. Just saying, even someone taking a pair of scissors to your bits can be a good thing! I had pain relief so didn't feel a thing.

Sorry, I know that's a weird one, but my point is that sometimes a bit of intervention is a wonderful thing.

CyberCritical · 27/12/2023 23:37

Vast majority of people do not have terrible births and loads of people actively choose to repeat the experience and have multiple children.

Yes it is hard work and it is painful but my experience was that it's a different kind of pain to when I've been injured. It's a pain that feels productive, you know it's working towards an end point and has a purpose rather than just pain.

I was induced by pessary, ended up having a relatively short labour with gas and air and a second degree tear. The tear was fine, felt like a strong stinging sensation for a few seconds then afterwards I had gas and air while they stitched me up then a pain killer shoved up my bum which was miraculous, felt nothing down there for 24 hours.

The pushing/contractions were powerful and painful but in a really strange way, felt like my body had completely taken over and was doing this primal thing that I had no control over and the best way to manage them was to give in and just let my body do what it knew how to do. If I pushed when my body wanted me to push then it felt like a relief. i can't think of any better way to describe it. Listen to what your body tells you, pace if you need to, squat, lean over the bed, get on your hands and knees, bounce on the ball, lay on your side, lay on your back......

I had to pace and then when a contraction hit I leant on the bed on my elbows with my arse stuck out and swayed my hips. Wasn't part of any plan, but it felt right there and then. MW wanted me to bounce on the ball but I hated that so kicked it away.

HouseNoMore · 27/12/2023 23:50

My births were all pretty good, but my first was a breeze! Woke at 2pm from a nap and had some strong cramps. 3pm I was en route to the hospital as they were coming fast. Was 9/10cm on arrival and with some gas and air my DC was born at 6pm. Spent 3 hours recovering and getting stitches, and by 10pm I was tucked up in bed at home with my baby in his cot 😊

Second birth was twins so not as easy but still very good. Was waiting in hospital to be induced at 38 weeks but was convinced I was already in labour. Midwives laughed at me in disbelief, finally checked my cervix at 9pm and almost fully dilated. Rushed up to delivery suite, gas and air again. First baby born 12:20pm and second 1am. Spent a few days in hospital as they needed some extra help but otherwise a very easy and straightforward birth

Sometimeswinning · 27/12/2023 23:52

KThnxBye · 27/12/2023 19:48

I would give birth again tomorrow. I loved it. Giving birth is great, the single most satisfying thing you will ever do. The high is something else.

I don’t like being touched by anyone, being stared at/talked about or being the centre of any attention, so I made sure that those things didn’t happen and then I was set. Lovely babies. No injuries. No emergencies. All my living children were an absolute joy to birth. Pregnancy on the other hand, sucked….

You’re me! I love labour. Probably because I hate pregnancy.

Perfectly happily getting on with it. Dh explained to midwife non invasive means no touching from strangers.

Also my most happiest is when it’s over and I have my baby.