MMC, surgical management, and what next?

[meepthebeep]

Hi everyone,

We found out yesterday that our much-wanted first pregnancy has ended in a MMC. I’m 30 and DH is 32. I should have been 11+2 but the baby is only measuring around 6 weeks, so although we have to go back for another scan next week, we’re pretty much certain that this is it.

I think I want to go for surgical management, so that it’s (most likely to be) over in one go as quickly as possible. I know that sounds heartless but we’re so devastated and just want to get through Christmas together and try again in the New Year. How soon did you get booked in for surgery after having things confirmed by a second scan? (if you needed a second scan - I understand why they’re doing one but it feels almost cruel when we know nothing is going to change).

I’ve never had a general anaesthetic and the thought scares me, but I think the idea of a local for this particular procedure scares me more. If you had surgical management, did you go for a GA? Would you recommend it, if recommend is the right word?

After it’s all over, how long did things take to settle for you? We’re basically planning to hunker down and rest/recuperate over Christmas but we’d like to try again in the NY once I’ve got my first period - I think any uncertainty around dates for a next pregnancy would send me round the twist after what we’re going through now.

How long did it take you to have a successful pregnancy? We’re 30 and 32, generally fit and healthy, non-smokers and no underlying conditions that we know of, so hopefully all this is on our side.

Thank you all. So sorry if you’ve been through this too, but really grateful for any advice you can share. X

Hi @meepthebeep i totally understand what you are going through. I’m 31 and have had 2 miscarriages this year. 1st was natural at 6weeks and the pain/bleeding was horrendous. My 2nd I was 8weeks and had a blighted ovum, it kept growing but nothing inside it. I had to have surgical D&C and I went for general anaesthetic. Under the circumstances it was definately the best way. I came out the same day, rested and had hardly any bleeding and no pain. I’m currently 6+4 days and praying that this is 3rd time lucky to get our 1st baby. Wishing you all the best for the future, miscarriages are very tough to deal with but you will know when you feel ready to try again x

I'm so so sorry you're going through this. I've had 2 MMCs and had surgical management both times. It took 2 days to have pre op blood tests and another 2 days to have the surgery. I have had 4 general anaesthetics (including these 2). I think GA is the best option personally because you're asleep, then you're awake. That's all you know. The recovery team I had this year were all so lovely and kind and made sure I was ok emotionally as well as physically.

I didn't actually ovulate until after my period came back (which was 4 1/2 weeks after surgery). Now going in to month 5 of trying again since my most recent loss. I think hunkering down over Christmas sounds like a great idea. Sending all the love - happy to answer any other questions if you have them x

Thank you both so much for replying. I’m so sorry you’ve been through it too.

@CMG92 wishing you all the very very best with your pregnancy 🙏🏼

GA is the way I’m leaning at the moment. I think it would be too traumatic for me personally to be awake, even taking physical pain/discomfort out of the equation.

@moosey89 good luck with TTC 🙏🏼

Going to sleep and then waking up and not knowing anything about the middle sounds the best way. It does make me feel a bit exasperated knowing that there’ll be more waiting after the scan on Monday, but I’m holding on to the thought that things will be dealt with by Christmas and we can reset with the New Year.

Thank you both again 💐

Hi @meepthebeep. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've had 5 miscarriages now, most of them just happened naturally but one last year required further action.

I was given the options of waiting for it to happen naturally or have the surgical procedure, I went for the surgical option under GA and I'm so glad I did. I would chose it again if it ever comes to it. Knowing that it would be "sorted" and over on that day was much better mentally than waiting to see if/when it happened by itself, and I feel like it helped me move on quicker. I had a scan on the Wednesday and went for the operation on the Monday so it was very quick, but I guess it depends on your Trust, waiting times etc.

It was my first GA and it really was just like going to sleep. Definitely preferable to having a procedure done whilst awake IMO. The only negative was I found the anaesthetic going in quite painful, almost like my hand was burning, but I probably only noticed it for a couple of seconds before I was asleep.

My periods came back about 5/6 weeks later. We avoided trying to get pregnant for a couple of months as we were going for tests because of the multiple miscarriages.

Thinking of you. Whatever decision you make has to be the right one for you, but hopefully sharing my experience helps x

I had the surgical procedure with a local anaesthetic. I wasn’t given the option of a GA. The physical recovery was very quick, just cramps the same day and then felt normal after that. The mental recovery took much longer. The way my hormones plummeted after the procedure and the deep depression that followed really knocked me for six. I thought I’d want to try again ASAP like you but mentally I was not ready. Give yourself time to grieve if you need it. We found out I was pregnant with my son the same weekend that baby was due oddly enough.

Thank you, both 💐 I’m sorry for your losses.

@LittleRobins how did you find the procedure under local? I’m worried that the anaesthetic is applied to the cervix but I’d feel things in my uterus. I also had a really unpleasant coil removal in August, so feeling any discomfort in that regard makes me nervous.

That’s such a good point about taking the time to recover emotionally. At the moment I feel like I just want to get going again, but I know we’ll have to take things steadily and look after each other. 🙏🏼 thank you

Sorry for your loss @meepthebeep - mine was over a decade ago, but I wish I went straight to medical management as mine started and stopped and it was all hideous and drawn out... but just to give you hope, I was pregnant again successfully within 3 months.

Thank you so much @PartnersInCrime 🙏🏼 I’m sorry you had that experience but so pleased you got good news afterwards

I had a MMC and opted for the surgery in Feb 2022, it was definitely the right thing for me. I'd never had a general before either but I liked not being aware of what was happening and the idea that it was "sorted" as quickly as possible. I gave birth almost exactly a year later. I had acupuncture straight afterward which I enjoyed and I think helped me regulate my cycles and get my period back on track. I'm sorry, it's so shit but I promise one day it will be a distant memory.

Hi @meepthebeep, I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a MMC in summer and had an MVA. I wanted a general anaesthetic but I would have had to have waited a week and (I know this sounds harsh) I just wanted to move on and grieve and process as soon as I could, so I opted for an MVA under local. It hurt a bit during the procedure but I was able to walk straight out and go home, and my recovery was quick. There are some really helpful threads on the pregnancy loss boards and if I can answer any questions I’d be happy to - I’m so sorry this has happened.

Yes I felt the injection in my cervix which wasn’t pleasant but it was bearable. Just makes you wince a bit. I didn’t feel anything in my uterus. Honestly the physical side was fine, it was all the emotional side. If god forbid I was ever in the same situation again I would have the same thing done under a local.

I wouldn’t put a date on when you want to try again. It’s hard to know how you’ll feel afterwards. I totally get it though as I was just the same, I was so desperate for a child. Just be kind to yourself and take everything one step at a time. Feel reassured from the messages here that people have conceived fairly quickly afterwards so you have that option if you wish. I was a few years older than you too at the time.

So sorry to hear your news meepthebeep, it is bloody awful! No polite way to describe it!
We were in tge same position as you a few weeks ago. We are virtually the same ages as both of you. We also lost our baby to an MMC, finding out at first scan at exactly 12 weeks. Baby six weeks growth too.
Had surfpgical management with general and it went really well. Virtually no bleeding after. A few cramps and obviously emotionally very difficult but I have made a good recovery. Just want to try again. No period yet as very recent but am hoping it arrives soon so we can try again.
Your pain is so raw at the moment, understandably. There are quite a lot of ladies on here and on the miscarriage forum who have had the same or very similar experiences and knowing I was not alone was really helpful to me,
Sending you both huge hugs xx

I had the surgery under GA, I was surprised at how straightforward the whole process was. I had very little bleeding and was swimming on holiday less than a week later. I think I took one or two doses of paracetamol after and that was it.

I waited until I'd had a period and got pregnant that next cycle.

Miscarriage is shit but it's also very normal.

Best of luck

I'm so so sorry you're going through this, it's so cruel.

I had a MMC last year in the summer, which was managed surgically under local anaesthetic. I wasn't given the option of a GA.

The procedure itself was quite uncomfortable for me but over very quickly. I had some period type cramping for a day and light bleeding for a few days afterwards. It was all very manageable.

My husband and I made the very conscious decision to try again straight away as we knew this would be the one thing that would allow us to move on. To our amazement, I fell pregnant three weeks after the surgery.

In hindsight we should have probably waited a bit as the early pregnancy was very stressful (I had pretty severe bleeding due to a subchorionic hematoma. Maybe caused by the procedure, maybe not, who knows) and I was unbelievably anxious.

That said, our beautiful rainbow baby was born in June and I wouldn't change anything for the world.

I kept reminding myself whilst I was in the depths of grief that if this horrible thing hadn't happened, my future child, the one I will get to raise, would not be born. I still often look at my baby and think back to those days.

Look after yourself! Sending you love and strength x

I had local anaesthetic at 5/6 weeks and didn't even feel the injections into my cervix. It was extremely quick, and the pain was very manageable. Just some intense cramping right at the end, but then nothing really. The actual procedure was a couple of minutes. I wasn't offered GA, but probably wouldn't have chosen it as I wanted to get it done and go home.

It was A LOT less pain than my miscarriage that happened naturally at home.

Have surgical. I've had both.

The medical was awful and I had retained products and a huge bleed several weeks later. The Dr put me off the surgery for some reason but I don't think she meant to. Was off work 8 weeks due to the bleed. Was awful though I was dying!

The next one I had surgical. They booked me in for a second scan at 8am and if it was as expected I'd just stay in that day and have the surgery. I did nil by mouth from 12 midnight.

I took everything I needed for a day including a pack up and a flask of coffee. Had GA was fine first since a child when I had an appendix out. Was 2021 just after Covid

GA was fine weird loss of time. Gave me fentanyl for recovery. That was nice! Weird thought there was no ward it was just a room with reclining chairs. Thanks Covid. I drove myself there an husband picked up Me and car.

I felt fine afterwards no recovery really . Had a week off then went back to work.
TTC after a few weeks.

It's so fucking shit though. Sorry op 💐

Should say went in 8am came out 4pm

Thank you all so much for your replies. I’m going to look into acupuncture for the new year and make a list of ‘looking after myself’ things - I’m really aware that I might get a bit obsessed with TTC after this, so I want to keep an eye on that tendency, but also I think taking my vitamins and gentle exercise etc can’t hurt.

I’m of the same mind as all of you I think re. surgical management under GA. I think the less I know about it, the better (while the procedure is actually happening, I mean). And then we’ll have a clean slate to try again after Christmas.

This time of year is awful for it to happen (although there’s obviously no ‘good’ time for something like this), but on the other hand, it offers a kind of built-in rest and hibernation period, doesn’t it? So I’m trying to see it like that, rather than rushing round and doing loads of stuff and seeing as many people as possible.

I feel at the moment like I just want to get on with the procedure but the hospital won’t book me in until after the second scan on Monday. It’s frustrating but I understand why they do that.

I’ve asked to be signed off until after Christmas as well, so they’re sending a letter to my GP. All of the staff have been so kind.

💐🙏🏼 thank you again for your replies

I’ve been having brown bleeding and some pain since finding out on Monday. It’s like my body is finally working out that it’s ok to start letting go, even though things stopped progressing 5 weeks ago now. It feels such a long time, and all the while I didn’t have a clue anything was wrong.

So sorry to hear you're going through this, I had the same with my pregnancy and it really knocked me for six. I had general anaesthetic because I couldn't bear the thought of being awake and I think it was a good decision. The surgeons etc are all very reassuring and count down til you fall asleep then you wake up on the ward a bit later on with it all dealt with.
I didn't have to have a second scan as there was no heartbeat so definitive the first time. Had surgery the following day so very quick.
Please give yourself time to deal with the emotional side of it, it's an awful loss and not to be minimised.
After that I unfortunately took 6 months to fall pg again and then had 2 mc before getting pg with my DD. My cycle was wonky for ages, and I got shingles and my dad was dying so maybe I was just over stressed in general but I think the mc did have a big effect on my body.
Wishing you the best, I hope you can have the surgery and move forward asap, waiting is awful.

Thank you @TunnocksTCake I’m so sorry for your losses too.

Sorry to post again. Finding it all a bit hard. This feels like the longest wait of my life to have the second scan on Monday when we already know the outcome. I thought my body understood it could let go now but the bleeding keeps starting and stopping again.

It’s all so so awful. We wanted this baby so much. So sorry to all of you who’ve been through this too.

I’m trying to console myself that we conceived really quickly so we may do again in the new year. But also I keep thinking about the summer baby we thought we were having and how that’s not happening now.

I’m looking up so many vitamins and supplements for me and DH for ‘next time’, I can feel myself getting a bit obsessive. I just want to feel like I’m doing something to try and stop this happening again.

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. It really is the worst and you feel like a failure. Sending lots of love and hugs. Take time for yourself and your partner as well, they will also need that support during this time. I don't think people realise how difficult it is for the partners as well, mine was devastated but was my rock throughout the whole process.

I had a MMC at the beginning of the year and opted for the surgery. The GA was definitely best for me and it was over nice and quickly. Unfortunately I was one of about 5% of people whose surgery was unsuccessful and left a portion of the pregnancy still in my womb so had a lot of bleeding and pain until they realised 3 weeks later that I still had pregnancy tissue inside. I had another lot of surgery and once it was all gone the recovery was quick. Don't let it put you off, it's quite rare and if it (God forbid) happened to me again I would still opt for the GA surgery as I still believe it the least traumatic of the options. I was just one of the unlucky ones but most are successful.

Once my seconds surgery was over it only took about 3 weeks for my period to come back. I got pregnant maybe 2 or 3 cycles after (apparently you're more fertile after? Not sure how true this is but we were previously TTC for 2 years before my 1st pregnancy!) and I'm now in the 3rd trimester.

Never lose hope and you will have your baby soon ❤️

Thank you so much for your post @Indreams21 my DH is devastated but he’s been so wonderful as well. I’m so pleased your pregnancy is going well. Were you able to have any additional scans this time for reassurance? I can’t bear the thought of waiting until this stage a second time around and finding out again that things stopped progressing but we knew nothing about it. I wondered if I’d be able to have scans at 6 and 9 weeks, for example. I’m not sure my trust would do them without recurrent miscarriages, but I’d be willing to pay privately at a reputable place. Did you do anything like that this time around?

I’ve been wondering as well about things like aspirin and progesterone. Do they help pregnancies to keep developing? It seems like we can do the conception bit and it looks like I obviously keep hold of them… but why has it just stopped? Would aspirin and progesterone help keep things moving next time? I could take aspirin myself but again I’m not sure my trust would prescribe me progesterone after ‘just’ (just just 😣) one miscarriage. I can ask, though.