MMC, surgical management, and what next?

[meepthebeep]

Hi everyone,

We found out yesterday that our much-wanted first pregnancy has ended in a MMC. I’m 30 and DH is 32. I should have been 11+2 but the baby is only measuring around 6 weeks, so although we have to go back for another scan next week, we’re pretty much certain that this is it.

I think I want to go for surgical management, so that it’s (most likely to be) over in one go as quickly as possible. I know that sounds heartless but we’re so devastated and just want to get through Christmas together and try again in the New Year. How soon did you get booked in for surgery after having things confirmed by a second scan? (if you needed a second scan - I understand why they’re doing one but it feels almost cruel when we know nothing is going to change).

I’ve never had a general anaesthetic and the thought scares me, but I think the idea of a local for this particular procedure scares me more. If you had surgical management, did you go for a GA? Would you recommend it, if recommend is the right word?

After it’s all over, how long did things take to settle for you? We’re basically planning to hunker down and rest/recuperate over Christmas but we’d like to try again in the NY once I’ve got my first period - I think any uncertainty around dates for a next pregnancy would send me round the twist after what we’re going through now.

How long did it take you to have a successful pregnancy? We’re 30 and 32, generally fit and healthy, non-smokers and no underlying conditions that we know of, so hopefully all this is on our side.

Thank you all. So sorry if you’ve been through this too, but really grateful for any advice you can share. X

Hi @meepthebeep

I'm in a similar-ish position - a scan last Friday showed only a sack and a yolk when I should be 8 weeks along. They want to scan me again this Friday to be sure where we stand, I'm not really sure why but I'm guessing it's following some sort of protocol.

I phoned my EPU on Monday and asked for a D&C to be booked next week. I didn't want to wait until the scan on Friday to get the appointment booked and then risk it being left until after Christmas or scheduled for my DS 3rd birthday on the 21st. They were really good and booked me in for Tuesday next week despite not having officially diagnosed a miscarriage yet. They might have taken pity on me or treated me as a special case because I'm a frequent flyer (miscarriage number 6 due to a genetic condition).

It's definitely worth requesting and putting your reasons forward. I know how you feel about it being morbid (I feel very heartless planning it so methodically!) but you've got to do what you can to protect yourself and start your recovery.

Hoping you get the answer you want, keep us updated x

Hi @Griffles, I’m so sorry for your losses. I’m glad you’ve been able to get booked in and get some closure before Christmas and your son’s birthday.

I’ve just been booked in for surgical under GA on Monday morning. I’ve got to go in earlier to have the scan beforehand and then if everything is confirmed, I can have the operation after that. I’m relieved to have an end date in sight but also feeling the loss a bit more keenly again this morning - I think I was so set on wanting to know when this would be over that I’ve not let myself really feel all the other emotions that are there as well. Does that make sense?

I asked about being scanned after the procedure to check for retained material and was told that they sometimes do this in theatre, so I’m going to ask please for them to do that after the operation. I really don’t want to deal with retained ‘products’ on top of everything else.

In any case, there’s an end in sight now. Thank you all for your support.

Meepthebeep - Glad you have got your date and will be thinking of you on Monday. Virtual hugs to you and your other half xx

Good luck @meepthebeep I hope that it all goes as smoothly as possible

I've had 2.

1 surgical with GA. Which yes, is nice to be asleep and then when you wake up it's done.

The second I asked and booked in for surgical but during the few days wait I miscarried naturally.

I really REALLY panicked when it started, was night time, called the hospital demanding to go in as said I wouldn't cope at home etc. They just said all that would happen in the hospital would be they'd give me the same painkillers I could have at home and I'd be on a ward.

So I chose at home and DH stayed with me. I was 11-12 weeks ish but measured 7/8.

It wasn't pleasant but wasn't horrendous.

And having done everything 'naturally' I wasn't worried about infection etc like I had been after the surgical. So we didn't wait a cycle before TTC and actually conceived DD1 that month before my next period.

So, naturally, I'm glad that I didn't have the surgical with that MC.

Sending you lots of love. Xxxxx

Thank you all 💐 finding it hard this weekend. I want to get back to some kind of normal, but I think I’ll feel empty after having these little things inside me for so long, even if they didn’t do what they were meant to. So very mixed feelings, I guess.

The bleeding has reduced a lot, back to just light brown, so I think there’s very little chance of it happening on its own. I should have been 13 weeks today, they’ve been stopped inside me for longer than they were alive/developing.

Thank you all for your kind words, I really appreciate it x

Hope today went as well as can be expected @meepthebeep

Thank you so much @PartnersInCrime, it all went smoothly as far as I know 🙂 the ‘going to sleep’ bit was ok and nowhere near as scary as I thought it might be, and everyone was so so kind and reassuring.

Bit of cramping and some bleeding now but we’re home and curled up on the sofa. Will rest up for the next couple of days and slowly get back to normal.

Thank you to everyone on the thread for your support 💐

@meepthebeep It’s good to hear the surgery went so smoothly. I found it took me a full week to get over mine so please please do take it easy and rest up

I know how hard it is to experience this loss and we are all with you in spirit.

Thank you so much @MissHavershamReturns, that really means a lot. Thank you for the recovery advice as well, I’ll take it easy. 🙏🏼💐

Take it easy.

@meepthebeep I hope you have a smooth recovery.

I also wish you a smooth recovery xx

Thank you @PartnersInCrime @Blue2020 and @Longbarn5 This week has been ok so far. Pretty minimal bleeding overall, apart from a bit of a heavy episode yesterday which startled me a bit, but overall it’s been very light and just light brown, so I think it’s all within the realms of normal?

Trying to look after my body (and mind) before we start TTCing again in the new year. Thank you all so much for your messages here, they’ve really helped 🙏🏼

Meepthebeep, glad you recovering well. It is very difficult, more so phycologically than physically I think. I wish us both good luck and health for new pregnancies in 2024 xx

All the best for conceiving in the new year.

Thank you for your messages 🙏🏼 best of luck to you too @Longbarn5, I hope you have good news soon.

We’re doing ok, had a restful Christmas and I got a negative test this morning, only 10 days after the procedure. I’m still getting some very light (brown) bleeding, but I wonder if it’s to do with my uterus going back to its normal size? The sac kept growing even though the embryos weren’t, so I suppose everything’s still got to shrink back again from the 12-13 weeks it was by the end? Would that make sense?

Relieved in a way to have a negative test, that came quicker than I thought. I thought i’d still get a faint positive at this stage. But at least that points to nothing having been retained and so we should be back to normal and able to try again in the not too distant future.

Physically, recovery has been really smooth, I couldn’t have asked for better, really. You’re right that it’s the mental/emotional recovery that will take longer.

Thanks again for your messages x