Anyone else overwhelmed??

[shalaa]

Anyone else feeling a little overwhelmed about having a baby? I'm excited to meet the baby but at the same time i'm scared to death about being responsible for a little baby! I can't even look after myself some of the time let alone anyone else! Labour scares the hell out of me, I don't want to be out of control and in pain. Also what if the baby won't stop crying??!!

aaahhh i'm driving myself mad here

Don't stress - I thought labour was going to be bad - but in the end it was over and done with in half a day. Even if its painful - there's plenty of drugs to help you cope. Just investigate your options fully before hand.
Baby has to come out at some point - its just like being constipated for an hour or so!
Plus babies are very resilient - I was worried as I had no experience of other peoples babies and no family nearby to help me - but my midwife was 'old school' and put me at ease afterwards by being very straight to the point about stuff. She didn't pussy foot around the baby and was quite firm when handling him - and he loved it. It is hard work looking after a baby - but when they get to 6 weeks old and they smile for the first time - it's all worth while.

shalaa, congratulations on your pregnancy! When is your baby due?
Have you looked into booking any type of antenatal classes? There are NHS ones, NCT ones and some clinics offer them too. This would be a great chance to get to know other first time mums who probably feel the same as you do.
I have one dd (3 years) and am about to have another one in a few days.......labour is tough, but there are lots of options out there for pain relief, choose one (or none!) that best suits you. It doesn't have to be all bad.
Lots of luck for the rest of your pregnancy!
hana

Hi Shalaa - I felt exactly like you before I had dd. I was in denial about the labour and used to skip those pages in the books. I just didn't want to think about how something so big could come out of a gap so small! The ante-natal classes helped me understand a bit more about what would happen to my body during labour. Everyone's experience of labour is different - you will only know when it happens what it will be like for you, so don't get freaked by any horror stories, there is always someone who will tell you one!

I worried too that I wouldn't know how to look after the baby, but it really did come naturally and there is a lot of instinct involved.

Hi Shalaa,
YES! and the closer it gets the more nervous I am. I'm not so worried about the labour (probably because I am doing my best not to think about it and know it will be over after some time) but about whether i can cope with looking after a baby. And I am also really worried that I will have a baby that will cry all the time and I won't be able to cope with the lack of sleep (I don't function at all if I get less than my 8 hours). I am also getting worried as we still haven't prepared anything at all and we are both working over christmas, shops are closed for 2 weekends, terrified that the baby will arrive early etc...... dp is really cool about it all though, so i am trying not to worry so much, and let him take the responsibility, trying to enjoy being pregnant (ha ha!) and deal with the birth and the baby when it all happens. I can't imagine what it is going to be like and before the time was crawling by, everyday seemed like a week, but now the time seems to have sped up and the big life changing event is looming over me!

I worried about the sleep thing too! I love my bed and could sleep for England. In fact still can. I was amazed that I was actually able to get up and feed dd. The 6/7am feed was the worst one as I just couldn't wake up. I used to go back to sleep after that one and get up about 10.30am.

I need at least 8hrs sleep a night! Baby is due end of Feb. There's no ante-natal classes where I am as funding was cut. The only classes are the NCT ones and they are expensive and fully booked. Relying on internet and books for my info!

You'll be surprised with just how little sleep you can cope with - because you don't have any choice. No newborn lets you have 8hours uninterrupted sleep - and it would be very worrying indeed if they did.

shalaa, u sound just like me, I am having my first baby which is due in Feb and not sure I am going to cope at all, its not only the sleep thing but the thought of being responsible for someone, when I start to panic I put things into perspective, millions of women cope so there is no reason I wont or u wont ( although I am sure there will b many times during and after labour I will think I am not, but like all things this phase will pass)

Wishing u all the best!!

You'll be fine shalaa. I was exactly like you, and I had no experience of other babies, no ante-natal classes of any description, didn't know a single other pregnant woman, had no HV or midwife, just books, and somehow we managed just fine. I also like my sleep but you do manage to adjust - you have to! I was petrified of labour, but after one ight in hospital had to have a cs.

good luck - you'll do a great job!

read up on all the drugs available during labour so you know whats happening, try some positive visualisation techniques; for example, 'riding the waves of pain etc, or flowers opening, rivers flowing etc. i found it helped me concentrate.

you'll be amazed at what your body can do. and yes i does feel like your trying to do the biggest poo of your life. sorry ds!

shalaa, it's all normal but you'll have plenty to keep yourself occupied when it all kicks off.

As for crying babies, that was my biggest worry - well founded as it turns out! I can't recommend Harvey Karp's 'The Happiest Baby on the Block' highly enough - but do follow the 5 S's to the letter!

It takes a while to feel comfortable with the responsibility of a baby so just take it all 1 day at a time.