Why do I feel so guilty 😥

[Michah89]

I lost my baby girl at 20weeks and feel so guilty 😥 only been 4weeks and I miss her everyday life can be so cruel 😥

I’m so sorry. Why do you feel guilty?

@Errolwasahero because at 20weeks we got told she had spina bifida and they told us she wouldn't be able to walk or be able to control her bladder so we had to make a decision and our decision was to stop the pregnancy as they even said some kids with spina bifida die at the age of 5 so yeah I think we made the right decision for Sophie but still sometimes I do regret it 😥

Darling you are grieving you had to make the toughest choice in the world but you made it out of love for your little baby. You thought you were going to have a child and not youre not (yet) it's so tough. Please let the hospital or your gp know you're struggling so you can get some counseling for this - also look up disenfranchised grief as I bet this is what this feels like.

That is hard. But you made the right decision, for your baby and for you both. You should absolutely not feel guilty. Try to be more gentle with yourself, be kind to you! Look after each other.

@Unexpectedlysinglemum I already have 2 other children so I had to think of them 2 but before that pregnancy I had a miscarriage then this life can be cruel it was her funeral on Monday and that was hardest thing ever like 😥 and I think I want to be pregnant again to help me through it but it's probs not the best thing to happen straight away is it?

@Errolwasahero yeah I no we made the right decision for her but still don't make it easier even worse as had to give birth and she was still alive but died 3mins later honestly never felt pain like this , me and my boyfriend do want to have a baby just if it happens it happens just scared in case it happens again x

It will take time, but you will be ok. But do let people know like @Unexpectedlysinglemum said, they will be able to help. Are you in touch with any support groups? Being able to share with others who have gone through this might help.
Someone close to me went through this, they still visit her grave and cherish her. It’s hard. She’ll always be with you though x

oh my heart! She’s at peace. Wish I could give you both a hug right now.

I'm so sorry for your loss. You are grieving your baby. I do believe trauma and guilt comes with TMFR. Have you been offered counselling to work through those feelings? X

@Errolwasahero the crazy thing is she sleeps just like her dad 💔🥰 I'm just waiting for her ashes now 😔

@gemloving yeh they have but I've tried counseling in past and it never works so I want is to have healthy baby 😔 we were so excited to learn that we were having a girl then they told us the devastating news about her 😔

@Michah89 it might be different this time? Have you had a consultant appointment yet talking about future pregnancies?

My little boy died unexpectedly in the womb at 35 weeks. It's so tough 😞

She is absolutely beautiful and at peace now, you saved her from ever having to experience pain.

Try for your rainbow baby as soon as you feel ready (and doctors say you're ok) there's no reason to wait just for the sake of it xxx

@Unexpectedlysinglemum I think I already am pregnant just going to wait few more weeks first before doing a test x

Oh my, she is beautiful.. I'm really sorry for your loss hun. Sometimes, it's good to talk to people. You are grieving, sweetie. I really do hope and pray that you and your family will one day be at peace. Right now it's very difficult..

My heart goes out to you and ur family 💗💗💗💗💗

Fingers crossed for you! Sophie will always be a part of your family, it will get easier I promise x