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Original poster

Husband wants to ski abroad for 1w when I'll be 34w pregnant....

56 replies

pixieeyes · 17/11/2023 17:16

Hi all. We're having our first baby, and my husband wants to go skiing with his friends for a week in Jan when I'll be 34w pregnant. It would take him most of a day to get home. On one hand I want him to enjoy his time before baby, on the other I can't help worry this isn't a good idea as I could go into early labour, and also I'm a little bothered that I can't go and he's not overly worried about the timeframe! How would you feel/would you be OK with it/ let or not let yours go in this situation? I'd really appreciate any thoughts/advice as I'm stuck about how I feel/ whether to be OK with this! xx

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SylvieLaufeydottir · 17/11/2023 17:18

The odds that anything at all would happen in that time period are tiny. Anything at all could happen at any stage of your pregnancy - do you want to ban him from travelling completely for the entire thing?

Let him go. It'll be fine, and if by some freak chance it isn't, he'll figure out how to get back.

Beenaboutabit · 17/11/2023 17:20

Should be OK.

Do you live in a very rural location that would prevent you getting to a hospital easily?

Mintesso · 17/11/2023 17:25

Hm. At that stage of my pregnancy my husband worked in France Mon-Thurs. I banned him from travel the week before my due date, but I think at 34 weeks it’s fine for gum to be ziping around.

Labour takes a while to get going, I had 3 days of bloody shows and weird twinges before my first contraction. If you do go into labour that early, it’s likely he’d still be back before the baby is actually out.

Scalessayeek · 17/11/2023 17:25

I could have written this post. Hubby went away when I was 33 weeks pregnant for a 5 night ski trip.

I loved having the time to myself and it was good for him to get away while he could (though it is a yearly trip). There are risks he may miss something important the further along you are into the pregnancy but the likelihood of something happening isn’t huge.

Thankyouthankyoujellybean · 17/11/2023 17:32

I was talking to a friend last week who casually mentioned that her husband had gone skiing while she was 38 weeks pregnant and already had two other kids. They all got norovirus just after he left 😅

If you've no kids to look after already I wouldn't worry about it.

WeeSleekitCowrinTimrousBeastie · 17/11/2023 17:33

My husband had to drop out of being best man at his brothers wedding at 34 weeks for our baby's premature birth.

It can happen. We didn't think it would and thought 34 weeks would be safe.

SylvieLaufeydottir · 17/11/2023 17:45

WeeSleekitCowrinTimrousBeastie · 17/11/2023 17:33

My husband had to drop out of being best man at his brothers wedding at 34 weeks for our baby's premature birth.

It can happen. We didn't think it would and thought 34 weeks would be safe.

Well, sure. OP could have a miscarriage at 16 weeks or 22 weeks. Or a placental abruption at 29 weeks. These things happen. So you either stay at home all the time for nine months, or you play the odds.

Blue2020 · 17/11/2023 17:48

My baby came at 35 weeks, however I had prior warning from going in the hospital from 31 weeks onwards that I was developing preeclampsia. So it wasn’t sudden.

If I had been healthy at 33-34 weeks I wouldn’t have had an issue with my husband leaving for a week. It might be his last bit of freedom with friends before he can no longer spend time with them for quite a while.

kenadams86 · 17/11/2023 17:53

I'd be ok with this as long as your pregnancy has been uneventful so far. After 37 weeks I'd be less keen.

My ex husband pissed off on holiday for 5 days when my baby was 12 days old, I had a toddler and I was recovering from a c section. Never saw him the same way again after that

PuttingDownRoots · 17/11/2023 17:55

DH was still working abroad at those points (he made DD1s birth, but not DD2s)

He could be half an hour away and not make it.

Its better this year than next year.

MintJulia · 17/11/2023 17:59

Pack him off with a cheery wave and then enjoy yourself !

Eat what you want, when you want, have the bed to yourself. 😊

Olika · 17/11/2023 18:03

Perhaps you can just remind him that the baby might come out while he is away and if he is till happy to go then he goes.

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 17/11/2023 18:04

Seriously op you could have 2 months left...

InTheRainOnATrain · 17/11/2023 18:05

OP could have a miscarriage at 16 weeks or 22 weeks. Or a placental abruption at 29 weeks. These things happen. So you either stay at home all the time for nine months, or you play the odds.
Exactly this. Once you reach full term having the baby soon becomes a certainty but before that, I wouldn’t stop things on the unlikely what if because it’s just too long a time period for it to be reasonable to stay close to home. You can also get home from the Alps in a day if necessary, not much different to driving to the other side of the UK.

DH went skiing with friends when I was 35 weeks. I was pretty annoyed but only because I was jealous that I wasn’t skiing that season!! All was fine!

RoseRows · 17/11/2023 18:46

I wouldn’t like this. I think it’s very inconsiderate and quite selfish of him. It’s very different to going away for work purposes or something else unavoidable. It’s not even just a worry of the baby coming early or something going wrong but what about him being there to support you or pick up more of the housework as you could be rather large by then and struggling with certain tasks. It just doesn’t scream supportive partner to me and I think you have a right to be annoyed. Not to mention the cost element at a pretty expensive time in your life when you will likely be on a reduced income.

ComfyBoobs · 17/11/2023 18:52

Should be fine.

Moominmoko · 17/11/2023 18:55

I would be okay with it tbh.

The chance of anything happening is so small. Obviously still a chance but I'd be happy to take the risk.

Onedicktoanother · 17/11/2023 18:56

Highly unlikely that your 1st baby will arrive at 34 weeks and without any signs of labour prior.

You could go 2 weeks over as well. Let him enjoy his trip!

Muchtoomuchtodo · 17/11/2023 18:57

The chances of something happening that early are really very small. If he’s keen to have a skiing holiday this season I’d prefer him to go at that stage than later in the season when you could have a little one to look after.

For next season get booking with someone like Family Ski Company or Ski Famille so you can have a great family holiday

Aquamarine1029 · 17/11/2023 18:57

I would definitely want him to go and enjoy himself. You could go into labour but it's unlikely. Even if you did, everything would work out fine. Enjoy the week to yourself.

ZenNudist · 17/11/2023 18:59

This is fine.

PaminaMozart · 17/11/2023 19:00

I agree with PPs - let him go. But do negotiate a special treat or holiday for yourself for some time next year!

I'll forever be grateful to my husband for looking after our toddler for an entire week so I could go on one last skiing trip before my second pregnancy.

Mummymummy89 · 17/11/2023 19:00

I'm fairly needy and codependent as wives go, but even I'd be happy with this.

It's much, much better for him to go now than when you've recently had the baby. I'd take a dim view of dh doing any solo travel for pretty much a whole year post-baby.

This might be his last chance for ages and ages

SanexExpert · 17/11/2023 19:01

It’s fine, I wouldn’t think twice. I thought you were going to say he expects you to ski 😂

Leo227 · 17/11/2023 19:01

I'd consider it one of the best times for him to go and get a last minute break out the way before the baby comes. same for you and him getting away in this country for a break together if you can!

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