Husband wants to ski abroad for 1w when I'll be 34w pregnant....

[pixieeyes]

Hi all. We're having our first baby, and my husband wants to go skiing with his friends for a week in Jan when I'll be 34w pregnant. It would take him most of a day to get home. On one hand I want him to enjoy his time before baby, on the other I can't help worry this isn't a good idea as I could go into early labour, and also I'm a little bothered that I can't go and he's not overly worried about the timeframe! How would you feel/would you be OK with it/ let or not let yours go in this situation? I'd really appreciate any thoughts/advice as I'm stuck about how I feel/ whether to be OK with this! xx

I hope you also get to do something that you want for a week and spend similar seeing as you can’t go as you are doing all the hard work carrying his child. I would want major payback

Housework? Bloody hell.

I’d let him go with my blessing but maybe have a friend to stay if you’re anxious. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and the birth.

Not an issue. You could 'ground' him throughout the 40 weeks if you're that worried!

Labour takes a while to get going, I had 3 days of bloody shows and weird twinges before my first contraction.

Not necessarily. My first labour was 14 hours start to finish, with only 5/6 hours of 'active' labour (my waters broke as my first sign of things starting, with contractions starting about 8 hours later and then baby coming within an hour of arriving at hospital), and my second was even quicker (born at home before the midwives arrived). So if my husband was a day's travel away with either of them then he'd have missed it.

However, both of mine were full term 39/40 weeks, and I'd have not had a problem with him going away for a few days at 34 weeks.

My sisters baby arrived at 34 weeks, completely unexpected, that said it is unusual. My now exh went skiing for 5 days when I was 36 weeks with a 5 year old and 3 year old at home, he came back from skiing with a broken collar bone. He was given the all clear for driving 2 days before my c section. I was not a happy person.....

My husband's gran died when I was 34/35 weeks pregnant so he travelled 4/5 hours to be with his Mum I didn't think anything of it at the time x

If you're having a normal pregnancy, I wouldn't worry. Chances are the baby will be late, not early. If things change in the next few months you can reevaluate the risk of him travelling. An outright ban at this stage seems hasty.

I personally wouldn’t even bat an eyelid, I went on a girly holiday to Croatia when I was 35 weeks pregnant, I felt good and had the all clear from my doctor and midwife. It did me a world of good and I’m so happy I went.
If you’ve had an uneventful pregnancy with no complications I would just let him go, and maybe go somewhere yourself a bit earlier in your pregnancy!

My husband is going skiing for the weekend when I'm 35 weeks. I don't mind, I hope he has fun!

If your not happy about it then you definitely need to make this known to him.
I personally wouldn't be happy. When I was 25 weeks pregnant my husband went to Singapore for a few days. But the reason I wasn't thrilled with the idea was because it was just a COVID was getting serious over here and I was worried he wouldn't be able to get back 😂 or brought COVID back with him.
I understand your concerns. Lots of "what ifs" whirl through your mind when you are pregnant.

For me it would depend on his attitude. If he has said he has looked into how he can get home quickly if necessary, will give the house a good clean and get in nice food and treats for you to enjoy while he is away by all means send him off with your blessing.

Id be concerned if he hadn’t given a single thought to the impact on you if him being away for a week and I’d be having a discussion with him about doing the things mentioned above before he goes.

If we could comfortably afford it, I’d have no issue with this. The chances of anything happening are slim, and honestly I think I’d enjoy some time truly to myself before it never happens again baby comes.
Congratulations and all the very best 💐

Unless you've been told there is a significant risk of early labour then I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

At 36 weeks my dh went to glasto. Would have taken several hours to get home.
I wasn’t delighted about it but got my mum on standby just in case something happened. Nothing did. I wouldn’t be happy with him going to the deep jungle or something, but France isn’t terribly far.

Should be fine I’d let him go and not be fussed.

both my babies were born week 38. Very unlikely a baby arrives week 34

Most new mums go past their due date. I wouldn’t be overly worried about it. He’ll have less opportunity to travel when there’s a young baby/toddler at home, so I’d encourage him to go.

It wouldn't worry me at all. I'd want him to go and enjoy himself and I'd cherish the time to myself!

I’d be checking that he’d be happy to hold the baby when you go skiing next year OP. Seriously I’d be fine with this. When I was 36 weeks my DH was on the other side of the world in a submarine. He did make it back. Just!

ExH tried to pull one like that 4 weeks before DS was born. I read him the riot act and he stayed.

As you may deduct from my name, that lack of consideration was just a sign of things to come. Sometimes you can change selfish inconsiderate people, sometimes you can’t, stand your ground, with a bit of luck he may be in the group of those who can pull their weight if they resalías why they have too. Best of luck.

Depends entirely on the attitude for me.

When pregnant with my first my DP didn’t go any further than the local pub from around 30/32 weeks onwards.
I never asked him too but he didn’t want to. He was so excited and anxious with anticipation that he was always on ‘standby’ mode.
He also really enjoyed spending Saturdays at mamas and papas followed by lunch and then and decorating the nursery. He was just so excited!
Seeing a big burley bloke always coming home from work with babs of baby bits and bobs he’d picked up on his lunch hour was very sweet looking back.

So because of my experience I can’t lie that i wouldn’t be disheartened if during this pregnancy he suddenly went on a lads holiday at 34 weeks. As it is, I’m currently 30 weeks and he’s already began his decorating and DIY of baby things.

If he were to go on a lads trip then I wouldn’t object but I’d hope his mentality was fully ‘in it’ in regards to pending fatherhood and not an afterthought.

So I think it depends on his overall attitude if you see what I mean?

I had my son at 34 weeks due to preeclampsia so I wouldn't want my DH going away at that stage. I think for most pregnancies it would be fine though.

It’s before the baby will be likely to arrive and a good opportunity to do something with friends as an adult, I’d happily pack DH off in that situation.

Mine doing exactly this at 33 weeks and, joy of joys, taking the toddler to visit his family for the week. I've not told him but I've taken annual leave and intend to spend the week walking the dog and floating in the gym pool. Enjoy OP!

It's probably the most convenient a trip away is going to be the 5-10 years. The risk of sudden labour is tiny. I'd absolutely have no problems with this. You'll need his presence far more when the baby/toddler/child is here.