30th Birthday while ttc

[JennieM94]

It’s my 30th in March and not stuck what to do. My husband’s birthday we hired a cocktail bar and went all out it was great.
We are currently ttc and my birthday is 4 months away. No idea whether I’ll be pregnant then! All my family/friends would usually expect me to join in drinking and would normally buy (anyone whose birthday it is) me a few drinks.
i’d love a birthday like what my husband had but the minute I decline a drink people will know. If I’m after 12 weeks then I’ll just tell my extended family and friends anyway but I’m worried what if I’m 3-4 weeks or something? 100% people will work it out. I’ve stopped drinking now and people are already questioning it. Could I get the bar to just secretly give me mocktails or something and shots of lemonade if someone orders me a shot? Any other good ideas for a 30th? Something still really fun still.

How long have you been trying? Most people get pregnant within 6 months of trying, statistically speaking so you could well be pregnant then.

There's no need to wait to tell people until 12 weeks, if you're comfortable to say before. Some people do feel comfortable enough to tell people that they are TTC and people generally understand them cutting back on drinking. Could you mention now that you are TTC and stopping drinking and let people continue to think this is the reason, even if you do happen to fall pregnant before your birthday. If not, the usual excuses of antibiotics would probably work.

I doubt the secret non-alcoholic drinks idea would work flawlessly. If people are buying for you, the bartenders wouldn't know it's for you and therefore wouldn't no to swap it out.

I'm really not fussy about birthdays as an adult and prefer to keep it low key, so can't help with a big/extravagant idea, sorry!

You're overthinking this. It's so bizarre that people in your life are actually commenting on what or how much you're drinking. Just tell them you've decided to cut out alcohol for a while if you're not able to give them the blank stare I would.

I agree with a pp, I think it’s crazy that people are commenting on if you choose to drink or not. It’s your decision to have an alcoholic drink and there can be many reasons to why you’re not drinking.

I think you plan the birthday party you want. It’s hard to tell if you’ll be pregnant in 4 months time but if you are then you can make changes to your plans.

Don't stress OP! You might be surprised by how unobservant people are! If you have a glass of bubbles in your hand and take a few sips you can "get away" with a lot. Likewise hand your drink to your husband for a second and let him hoover it up. You can always get anyone who is "in" on your news to order you mock tails. I drink (a lot) usually but managed to get through various boozy gatherings without people remarking.

I'd suggest you just plan what you fancy : if you start changing everything now you're piling pressure on yourself.

We’ve literally only just started trying this month so May not even be pregnant by then. I think I’ll go with a bar party like what my husband had, that’s what I want and after everyone else has had a few drinks they won’t even notice! Plus my husband will gladly mop up any alcoholic drinks I get given and my friends already know I hate shots anyway.

I was pregnant over my 30th birthday and just had a bbq with my friends and family - I was past 12 weeks and could tell them though but when I was 5 weeks pregnant I was bridesmaid for my sister in law and nobody knew then so I just put drinks that looked like alcohol in wine glasses - everyone else is too busy enjoying to notice anyway xx