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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

3rd baby - Freaking out completely

74 replies

Maybebaby16 · 25/10/2023 16:57

Hi,
I've just tested positive for my third pregnancy and am 100% freaking out. Feeling like it's a terrible mistake.

Can anyone reassure me and tell me good things about three children?

Thank you

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

GatherlyGal · 25/10/2023 16:58

2 to 3 is a breeze compared to either 0 to 1 or 1 to 2. You will be fine.

Original poster

Maybebaby16 · 25/10/2023 17:02

My other two will be 6 and almost 4. Just as life was getting easier.

I feel like this will take away so much from them.

OP posts:

Original poster

Maybebaby16 · 25/10/2023 17:28

I'm sorry, I know there are so many who are desperate to get pregnant and I should be grateful but I'm just terrified.

OP posts:

Desecratedcoconut · 25/10/2023 17:30

I have three 16, 14 and 9. So, I'm you, ten years down the road, and it's bloody brilliant.

Desecratedcoconut · 25/10/2023 17:33

But, of course, this isn't set in stone. If this is terrible for you, then it's changeable.

GatherlyGal · 25/10/2023 17:43

You can underestimate how much you already juggle and manage and it's likely no. 3 can slot in without too much disruption. Having a 3rd is lovely for the other 2.

As @Desecratedcoconut there are options.

Good luck

Lizzieregina · 25/10/2023 17:45

Another mother of three here and wouldn’t change a thing. Agree that 2 to 3 was a lot easier than 0 to 1!

My #3 was challenging, but she’s also the nicest person in the world as a young adult.

Original poster

Maybebaby16 · 25/10/2023 18:36

I've only just found out so obviously need some time for the dust to settle in my mind. My son is tricky but wonderful, my daughter is an angel. It's fear of the unknown. I feel like such an idiot.

OP posts:

Freefallin · 25/10/2023 21:27

I am in exactly the same position as you. I’m around 5 weeks pregnant with my third although mine are 6 and 1. I feel so stupid and annoyed at myself, I even took the MAP but clearly I had already ovulated.

My husband is freaking out more than me. I think if he was more accepting then I’d be ok but I feel like I’ll be taking so much away from our two children and our lives in general if we have another baby. But I don’t think I could live with the guilt of a termination.

Sending you lots of love and know you aren’t alone 💐

Original poster

Maybebaby16 · 25/10/2023 21:45

Thank you. It means a lot to know I'm not alone.
My husband seems ok but worried about me.

OP posts:

Original poster

Maybebaby16 · 25/10/2023 21:48

Please tell me the things that make it brilliant and that it won't be the disaster that I envision.

My husband wants me to be happy but is against the idea of termination.

OP posts:

Original poster

Maybebaby16 · 25/10/2023 21:49

I keep reading things like 'everybody with three children is miserable' and how people wished they'd stopped at 2.

OP posts:

LucyAnnTrent · 25/10/2023 22:01

Well, I've got three and I'm not miserable! As a baby, my third DC kind of slotted in with the others and was easily entertained by her older siblings. I found I was more relaxed/less anxious third time round, and because I knew she'd be my last baby I savoured it more. That said, she has minor special needs and things can be a little crazy at times, but life is never dull with three and I wouldn't change a thing.

Lizzieregina · 25/10/2023 22:05

The biggest issue with 3 for us has been Uni costs because we’re in the US where it’s extremely expensive. #3 is still plodding along and I’d like her to be finished!!

In terms of kid management, she definitely didn’t get the hands on attention the other two got. She was forced to be more flexible and portable as I was on the go a lot more, but she was an extremely chill infant but a busy toddler. She’s best friends with my #1 (brother) who is 5.5 years older.

Washing, cooking, cleaning messes etc weren’t any worse except she went through a scissors phase where she loved to cut up paper!

Desecratedcoconut · 25/10/2023 22:14

Erm, I can tell you why I like three. I'm one of three, I'm the eldest and growing up I loved being part of a bigger tribe, I liked living in a home that felt like a busy hub, I loved the wealth of talents and interests that pack out a home when it's bigger and an abundance of conversation that comes with it.

As an adult my siblings are important in my life. We don't live in each others pockets but get togethers are easy and full of laughter. When life gets hard anyone can throw up the bat signal and there's a wealth of support ready to go. This was really important when our family suffered a big loss.

As a mum of three, it's a real pleasure to watch my kids step into the same strong relationships, to build a home with a vibrant throng of activity. There are times when it's significantly harder to have three, the early days were a little challenging while I adapt to a new level of logistical artistry, but you get there, and it really works for us. I'm a big fan.

Mischance · 25/10/2023 22:21

Maybebaby16 · 25/10/2023 17:02

My other two will be 6 and almost 4. Just as life was getting easier.

I feel like this will take away so much from them.

It will also give them so much. My first two were 6 and 8 when number 3 put in an appearance. They adored her, doted on her, fussed over her, played with her, taught her things, learned responsibility - they still dote on their "little" sister even though she is an adult with children of her own.

starsinyourpies · 25/10/2023 22:23

My older two were 6 and 4 when DC3 was born and it was SO much easier than having a toddler and a baby! They did genuinely helpful things.

I agree 2 to 3 is easier than 1-2 which I found horrendous!

ChipsAreLife · 25/10/2023 22:25

Mine were 5.5 and 4 when number three came along. They have loved it! They help out, they read to him, they play with him, teach him things. It's so lovely.

Yes, it's a lot and at times there is no time for yourself but it's so fun and you get a little gang.

I'm so much more relaxed third time round, he just slots in. Now he's 3 things are much easier too.

You'll be ok!

CheshireCat1 · 25/10/2023 22:25

My 3rd was a lovely surprise, my youngest was 10 at the time. It’s been great, more relaxed and laid back.

Mariposista · 25/10/2023 22:25

You have options op and only you have the right to choose the right one.

Can you afford a third child?
Is your job stable?
Do you have space?
How much would your existing children benefit/suffer from another sibling?
Is your DH in agreement?
Is your health ok?

All questions to think about.

abc56 · 25/10/2023 22:37

I'v got 4, I'm not miserable now and I wasn't when we had 3.

My third has a completely different personality to her siblings so she's really brought us a whole load of new experiences. My elder two are closer in age so sometimes clash, their sibling gives them someone to play with whilst having a break from one another.

If you don't feel it's right for you though and you want a termination that's okay. Don't feel pressurised into continuing just because that's what your DH would want.

Original poster

Maybebaby16 · 25/10/2023 22:43

@Mariposista

Can you afford a third child?
Yes in day to day respects. But it's fear of the future - wanting to be able to help out if they go to uni/get married/want house deposits.
Is your job stable? Yes
Do you have space? Yes, but the guest room would have to go and someone would have the box room
How much would your existing children benefit/suffer from another sibling? Impossible to know fully.
Is your DH in agreement? He doesn't want me to have a termination, but I'm not sure if he really wants another child either.
Is your health ok? Yes. 33, so an ok age.

OP posts:

Nowifi · 25/10/2023 22:50

I'm the third of 3 and I'm definitely the best of the bunch 🤣 growing up the house was always busy and there was never a dull moment. I always thought my parents were mad for having 3 but they said they wouldn't change a thing!

Elllieuk · 25/10/2023 22:58

I'm one of three and it was great in childhood having 2 siblings, and as adults too. More of a little group to chat with :) 7 years between oldest and youngest and mixed sexes

rubyjan · 25/10/2023 23:02

GatherlyGal · 25/10/2023 16:58

2 to 3 is a breeze compared to either 0 to 1 or 1 to 2. You will be fine.

I've heard this too! I found 0-1 very easy. 1-2 has been torture for me! I have baby 3 coming in 3 weeks!!

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