3rd baby - Freaking out completely

[Maybebaby16]

Hi,
I've just tested positive for my third pregnancy and am 100% freaking out. Feeling like it's a terrible mistake.

Can anyone reassure me and tell me good things about three children?

Thank you

To put what you are reading above into perspective, I have two children and wish I'd stopped at one...... You don't feel like I do so why do you think you'll feel like some of the people with three children feel?

No but my daughter was (and still is) very placid and 'easy'. And my son is wild but instantly became easier by having a sibling to interact with. I worry a lot about my daughter becoming the 'middle child'.

It's very sad that you feel that way.

It feels like such a gamble. Such a risk.

My middle child is absolutely convinced that they are the favourite! No middle child syndrome whatsoever. No favourites here at all, but all of them think they're 'it' lol.

In the kindest way, I think you're overthinking it... this baby will just fit in. You will not remember a time when s/he wasn't there, and you won't be able to imagine your life without them. I have never, ever, had a single regret. I know that's me, and I am not you.

I think maybe you should have some counselling? This is really eating away at you isn't it? The love just expands, the way it did when you had your second and I bet you worried sick that you would be disadvantaging your oldest, or you wouldn't have enough love for 2, before you had your second? I know I did.

Just look at those 2 wonderful little people you and your DH have created. How beautiful will it be to have one more?

You have age on your side so much too. I was 7 years older than you having my 3rd. I was 34 having my first. That's the only thing I'd change, having my kids younger - but then I wouldn't have had the children I have.

Even if you wouldn't consider termination, maybe access counselling that way?

I never understand either why people make a fuss about cars etc - I managed to cram all of mine in the back of a Vauxhall Astra or a Ford Focus. Never had a people carrier - never wanted one.

I can see how conflicted you are and my heart goes out to you. Listen, it's early days, and even if you've meticulously planned a pregnancy, I think you go through a phase of "what have I done?!" when you get that +.

Best wishes x

Thank you so much @adriftinadenofvipers. I really needed to hear that.

Ah bless, hope it helped even a tiny bit xx

I'm pretty sure you will look back on this as a wobble, and you will love your baby the same as your older two. It's a good gap, IME.

I was devastated when I had my two miscarriages. Was afraid I would never get to have my DC3, but when I did, I reckon he was the baby I was meant to have. I think you are meant to have this baby too x

Is it weird that I just can't imagine doing it all again?
We put so much time and attention into our children and I just can't imagine being able to do it again?

No it’s not weird at all. I remember with my 3rd, the night before they were born (and bearing in mind what we had gone through to have this baby!!), I said to DH, “I have to start bloody breastfeeding again tomorrow!” I loved bf and it all fell into place of course.

It’s normal to have doubts, especially when it’s come as a shock. Honestly you will look back and wonder why you worried x

@Maybebaby16 have been reading a lot on third baby decisions and thought I’d check in this thread to see how you fared 🌷

How are you feeling now? I’m contemplating a third myself 😅

Don't forget that love multiplies, it doesn't divide. We have three and it's a beautiful family dynamic. Busy as anything but definitely worth it

How is it going?! Contemplating a third

I am writing this whilst bfeeding baby3. This time around I do feel like I know whatI am doing and can relax and enjoy it. The big sibs love the baby. He loves to watch them so things so he doesn’t much entertaining from me.They are learning so much about babies from watching me with him.

Our not planned 3rd is a blessing.
Bigger age gap but an absolute joy.

@Maybebaby16 I really do understand how you're feeling, this was me back in September. Surprise baby number 3, all sorts running through my head. I also work 3 days a week and was worried about logistics of when returning to work etc. how I would cope with 3 children. my 2nd is only 2 and is also displaying autism traits, so the thought of a 3rd potentially being autistic but more severe also worried me. When I weighed it up, it was so many what ifs. Who knows what will happen. I'm nearly 12 weeks now and we decided to continue with the pregnancy. I am still getting used to the idea I won't lie. But make the decision that's right for your family. Best wishes xx

I have 3 and they were all planned and it's just perfect. It will be just fine x

I commented on this post a year ago as I was pregnant with my third who is now 4 months old. Not going to lie it has been TOUGH but we’ve had a few family circumstances which have made things harder. In the dark moments I have questioned our decision to have a third but he is here and he is happy and loved and that’s what I’m concentrating on ❤️

@Maybebaby16 please update! In an almost identical boat now.

My 3rd is now 6 months old, big age gap between him and older ones.
he’s brought nothing but joy to all of us. I was so unsure whether to go for 3rd or not but I’ve never felt so in love x

I would love an update on this as I'm in the same situation. 2 girls aged 7 & 4 they're in school I have days off work to do what I like. Partner is getting ready for uni next year. We're in a 2 bed house. Kid sleep through and are easy enough to put to bed. I'm worried I'll loose our us time

Hey mama! You're going to be okay. You've been here before and you got through it. 3 children will be a beautiful blessing. Pregnancy can be really tricky though so make sure you have a good support system in place, and if you're struggling mentally with this pregnancy, I'd definitely recommend Carea. It's an app and it helped me loads, it's full of mental health tools for pregnancy as well as loads of expert advice. Overall it's just super accepting of however you feel about pregnancy xx

Two years on and I have an 18 month old that doesn’t sleep, we are absolutely skint, I look and feel like shit, I haven’t slept properly in two years, I hate my husband, I feel like a shit parent to my other children, I’m failing at work. Life is shit and I’m sat here at 5am crying my eyes out in bed.

Sorry it’s not the positive post you were hoping for and I probably shouldn’t have written it but it’s the truth.