Birth stories

[BEO]

So, just wanting to hear some birth stories! Positive and negative. I’m only 20 weeks but starting to think about the birth. I am quite open to things and not going to rule anything out I.E induction, drugs, epidural etc but do have my preferences and what I think I want in my head. I know a lot of people have difficult times and it’s rare you hear any good positive stories so hoping some will come out here!

If possible I quite like the sound of a water birth so would like to hear some birth stories where people have laboured and/or gave birth in a birth pool and how it went/how you felt?

My first was a water birth. Such brilliant pain relief. He was born only two and a half hours after we got to hospital. I used a TENS machine at home up until then.
My second should have been a home water birth but she had other ideas. 🤦‍♀️

Tens and water birth were amazing for me. I also had a lovely doula who massaged my back for hours!

I was planning a water birth with my first, that was the ideal scenario. I then went into labour at 36 weeks and because he was prem they wouldn't let me. The whole thing was 4 hours start to finish and didn't think it hurt too much, did it with gas and air.

DD was planned induction at 37 weeks, I had my waters broke at 3:45am on 37+1 and she was born at 7am the same day. I seemed to labour from my back which was so much more painful than with DS but managed with gas and air (mainly because I didn't have time for anything else) I was pushing for 12 minutes I think and completely missed the second stage of labour!

I think it’s good to have a clear idea of what you want. The best money I have ever spent in my life is on independent midwives. My youngest is now 20 and given the state of the NHS these days I reckon it would be money even better spent. Birth pool is brilliant but having two midwives you know and not have to navigate hospital/GP/ random midwives is fantastic. Teacher’s salary so not minted but it meant I had three excellent births.

I had a planned ELCS and it was great. Really nice and calm and I had a textbook recovery

I had a suspected trapped nerve, so was in agony between contractions. I didn't know that could happen. If it happens to you, I strongly recommend diamorphine.

Tens is great, both my labours were 6 hours total from first hint to baby in arms, so though I wanted a water birth in practice I didn't get time as baby came 30 minutes after I got to the hospital.
I think feeling safe makes a massive difference to how well you can relax and listen to your body, so having people with you who you know will support you is important.
Also, with my first I was amazed how much my body just knew what to do, so the position I was in at delivery wasn't one I'd thought about, it just felt right, ditto when to push etc. So I think having faith that your body can guide you and the professionals are there just in case it's a good thing.

I wanted a water birth, I was high risk and ended up being induced at 38 weeks. My hospital wasn’t great, was on a bed on a monitor for the most part in absolute agony. I laboured for 2 days. The actual labouring was the worst part for me and my waters had only half broken unbeknownst to me or staff so everytime I moved I felt like I had immense pressure (asif I was pushing). I kept being told I was 2cm, in the end I asked for a epidural because although I breathed through contractions I found them unbareable. I also didn’t get my own room I had to share until I was ready to push. Anyway fast forward hours, by the time I got into the delivery room, (they was going to put me on the oxytocin drip even though my contractions were back to back luckily they didn’t end up needing to) they broke the other half of my waters and that was it I was ready to push near on straight after. I didn’t end up getting the epidural as it was too late, I only had gas and air. when it came to pushing my DD was out quite quick and luckily only a first degree tear, so I’m very lucky in that sense considering this was my first child. I have been left to suffer with vaginismus as a result though, the first midwife that did my internal examination made me bleed and I just can’t deal with any insertion of anything medically since. I’ve opted for a c section this time and are hoping for a much better experience with it being more planned. Due to health reasons I have to deliver early so i literally have the option of being induced again or c section so I chose c section.

I'd say have a loose plan but also be open for it to all go completely the other way. I had a lot of intervention with both births and my first made me feel like a failure from the hypnobirthing stuff id done. My second went even worse but because I'd not set myself up for a perfect water birth with fairy lights etc I felt much more at peace with it. I'd also suggest just understanding all the interventions/ drugs etc so if it does happen then you know what comes next

Tens was great for me too. I wanted a water birth but wasn’t ‘progressing’ as quickly as they would like so didn’t really want me getting in water. 0-8cm took 3 hours at home and then 8-10cm took almost 10 hours in hospital so even though I felt relatively relaxed in hospital, my body clearly wasn’t. Only used tens and gas&air. Delivery was straight forward with no tears (did perineal massage from 36 weeks but no idea if that made an impact).

Planning on a home birth this time as I think if I’m feeling safe and relaxed in my
own environment things will be easier. Not bothering with a pool as managed fine without one last time.

I loved giving birth, and would rather give birth every month for 9 months than be pregnant for 9 months. But that’s not something we can choose unfortunately - I’m 22 weeks now and already counting down the weeks until I don’t have to be pregnant anymore!

I was very lucky and had spontaneous labours and fast natural births for all of mine (four labours, five babies). No pain relief apart from the first 😬😂.

Only the second birth was very painful, the third was so easy I was embarrassed! The last (twins) I didn't even know I was in labour - went to hospital with a bit of 'the runs' and they were born four hours later.

I'd do them all again no problem!

Waters broke at 9pm and was confirmed by midwife. Eventually allowed into maternity unit approx 5pm your next day. I wanted a water birth and was very lucky as when I arrived at the hospital all water birthing rooms were empty. I'd had a tour so knew which I wanted and they let me choose. It took a while for the birthing pool to fill up but it felt amazing for a while. I was still going at 11pm but by then I needed more pain relief so started with the gas an air intermittently. At some point I got out and the pool was refilled. Around 4am my midwife insisted that I got out for her to check my progress. She made it clear that she wasn't letting me back in the birthing pool. There was nothing wrong but she was concerned about my tiredness and she said my contractions had slowed down. Until this day I still believe that they slowed down because she insisted that I lie on my back for half an hour. I was then moved through the to consultant led area so they could intervene due to her concerns. I didn't have enough energy by that point to argue so my dc was born with a ventouse deli every at 5.15am after 32 hours of contractions. My one tip: make sure that your birthing partner is ready to argue for what you want. My mum is partially deaf and didn't have a clue what was going on so wasn't able to argue for me. In fact I remember shouting at the consultant when he got annoyed with her for not listening.

My first was a water birth. I'll be honest, I'm not sure it did much. It was fine, but I know some people found it really nice to get into the water, whereas for me it was neutral. The labour was 24 hours in total but I'd say the first 12 hours was very very mild pain before it ramped up.
It was a home birth and I had planned the same for DD2 (although I wasn't planning on bothering with the water) but my waters broke at 34 weeks so I was induced at 37. That meant I had to be in the labour ward, with monitoring etc so very different to my first. But I didn't need the drip to induce me, the gel worked straight away and labour ended up being pretty similar to my first once it got going. That was 11 hours from start to finish, but I'd say only the last 2 hours were really painful.

I needed stitches for a second degree tear both times. And that was the worst part of the recovery as it was very sore. But not for too long, and I haven't had any lasting issues.
I didn't have pain relief either time. Not through any particular choice, if I'd needed the drip during my induction I'd already decided I'd be insisting on an epidural before they came anywhere near me with the drip! But at home you can only have gas and air, and to be honest it made me feel a bit dizzy and queasy so I only had a few puffs and gave up. I have severe emetophobia (fear of vomiting) and the fear of vomiting was stronger than any pain. Same with my second, tried it, felt nauseated, stopped immediately.

Rather than base your decisions on anecdotal stories I would suggest reading something like The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill which describes the pros and cons of all the different options. It's more important than you think to have a plan and be informed and know how to advocate for yourself.

I had an amazing water birth, did about twelve hours labouring at home UFO, with a maternity tens. Baby born very easily and quickly in hospital. I did the positive birth company digital hypnobirthing course and it made me feel a lot more knowledgeable and prepared. Start if
t now!

I was induced at 41 weeks. I had hoped for a water birth and was lucky enough to get the only room on the delivery suite that had a pool! But they wouldn’t let me use it until I was 6-7cm. They weren’t happy with how long it was taking me to dilate so we’re wanting to use the hormone drip which I put off for a while to try give me a chance of a water birth. But in the end I ended up on the drip which meant I couldn’t use the pool and I requested an epidural just before the hormone drip as id heard how much it can ramp up the pain. Up until that point I just used gas and air and hypnobirthing breathing techniques. I had the epidural at 5-6cm. I ended up with failed forceps and a cat 1 section anyway. I still feel like I had a really positive experience though!

1st baby
Induced at 37 weeks
2 pessarys 6 hours apart did nothing, had my waters broken and my daughter was born 2 hours later after gas and air - very painful felt like a fish out of water I was demonic 😂 had an episiotomy and had to go to theatre for a manual placenta removal.

2nd baby
Induced at 37 weeks
Had my waters broken, waited an hour and went on the drip for a 48 minute labour on gas and air - this time I felt so relaxed and in control of my labour. I did have to go to theatre for a manual placenta removal again and had a few stitches for a small tear.

Both times I was dilating and contracting without me knowing during early labour it didn't hurt until my waters broke.

I was very lucky. 36 hour birth with contractions 45 mins apart for most of it. In the last few hours these ramped up to 15 mins then 8 mins but by that point the pain was quite intense and I wanted to go into hospital.

The hospital told me not to come in until the contractions were 3 mins apart. After another hour of the 8 mins my husband called again and lied for me so that we could go in.

We waited 45 mins in the waiting room which was the hardest bit of the whole thing. Finally we made it into the triage and I took my leggings and knickers off as the contractions had turned into pushing ones and I was making funny mooing noises. All pain had stopped at this point. I didn't find pushing painful at all. I felt my waters go so my husband went to get the midwife who didn't believe him as it was my first baby.

She came to check me anyway whereupon I was found to be 10cm and rushed to the delivery suite and not the birth centre as I wanted.

Two hours and an episiotomy later my son was born. I had a 3b tear and had to be repaired in surgery. Overall it was a great experience though I'm still annoyed I wasn't listened to and missed out on the birth pool birth that I wanted because of that.

Only pain relief I used was TENS.

I think one of the first things I said was 'Eh, I'd do that again. It was fine.' 😂

I had a water birth and he was born in two hours of me going into the pool. It was such a calm relaxing atmosphere and my midwife was amazing, hands off and let me get on with it and only stepped in when he was about to come out.

I only had gas and air but I truly feel that the water/pool relieved a lot of the pain. I only had two stitches and my recovery was really quick, I was out and about the next day.

@Juicyjuicymango I actually have that book and another few that I am making my way through. I just wanted to hear some real life stories too 🙂

Unlike the majority on the thread it appears, i found a tens machine to be really annoying. It just didn't do anything for me.

I had a spontaneous breaking of waters at 37+6w (big gush, hollywood style). Waddled off to triage to be checked over, where they discovered that my BP was VERY high, depsite being fine 2 days previously. As a result, i was admitted. Contractions started around 15hrs later, took a couple of paracetamol, got to 9cm around 8hrs later and moved to labour ward as the birth centre (and therefore all the pools) were full. My 36w scan had shown that DD was below the 10th centile so i was advised to accept continuous monitoring, which I did (it turned out to be good i did as DD was starting to have some worrying monitoring so we got a move on!) Had some gas and air but no urge to push. Turns out the forewaters were still in tact, so these were broken by the midwife and DD was born about 4 pushes later.

I had a urethral tear but otherwise came out of it ok. One thing I would say is that the hospital were great at supporting me in turning my labour ward room into something more like the birth centre. So they lowered the lights, moved the bed, i had a chair and a mattress on the floor so could labour in the position i wanted to. So it isn't necessarily a disaster if things dont work out the way you envisage, especially if you have someone who can advocate for you.

This time around, i definitely want an epidural though 😅

Thanks everyone for your stories! @shakeitoffsis if you don’t mind me asking, why did they want to induce you at 37 weeks both times? I’ve had a very easy and uncomplicated pregnancy luckily so far really so hoping it continues but know alot can change now.

Had two great births. First in MLU, in the pool for most of it and using gas and air but got out near the end as slowing my contractions down. Pushed for a couple of hours and was getting a bit tired, mw getting a bit concerned and put the fear into me which just sort of snapped me into action and I pushed him out. 6 hour labour from waking up with first contraction. Minor stitches for grazing, recovery very quick and easy. Second at home, 4.5 hours from waking up. Couldn't bear the thought of the faff of filling pool at home or trying to stop toddler getting in so didn't get one although I had liked it first time. Gas and air, midwives very hands off and just remember doing my own thing leaning on the birth ball until pushing when one of them held my hand. Don't think I had any examinations at all, they were great and trusted that I knew what I needed. I was so aware of her moving down and getting ready to be born and felt totally in control albeit contractions were overwhelming at times. Very quick and easy pushing stage the second time, think I only pushed twice. Loved being at home.
Would do it all again in a heartbeat but don't want a third child. Both babies 8lb5. Thanks for asking OP, I love talking about them.

"What's Right For Me" by Dr. (midwife) Sara Wickham is another good book, OP.

If you're leaning towards a water birth (ie that is what you think will make you feel most relaxed/secure/safe/in control) then I would advocate what a PP upthread did: if you can afford it, invest in yourself and your baby by hiring an independent midwife team to attend you at home.

Midwifery care in the NHS is in crisis. Staffing levels dictate the level and type of care you are offered in hospital, not what you would like or what you need (until you get to the sharp end of actual emergency care, which is where the NHS is really necessary).

I've had three babies in hospital, my first and then my last two, and several more at home in between, mostly in water. For normal-risk pregnancies, homebirth in the current NHS climate is a no-brainer, and I'd strongly recommend it.

I had an amazing time with gas and air. It was like the descriptions I have heard of "medicine journeys" and drugs like ayahuasca (admittedly I have never taken any kind of recreational drug so I have no idea). It was such a beautiful experience. I could still feel all the pain (I was on syntocinon by the end so it was pretty intense) but it was like my over-thinking human brain was gently wrapped in cotton wool and placed somewhere quiet in the back to have all these trippy, deep thoughts while my "monkey brain" just went out there and did the hard work and made all the noise I needed to without feeling self conscious. Every time I wanted to come back to reality I just took a few breaths of fresh air and felt totally normal again. I could check in with my husband and doula before slipping back beneath the waves. Bliss. I wish gas and air was available for early motherhood!!