Birth stories

[BEO]

So, just wanting to hear some birth stories! Positive and negative. I’m only 20 weeks but starting to think about the birth. I am quite open to things and not going to rule anything out I.E induction, drugs, epidural etc but do have my preferences and what I think I want in my head. I know a lot of people have difficult times and it’s rare you hear any good positive stories so hoping some will come out here!

If possible I quite like the sound of a water birth so would like to hear some birth stories where people have laboured and/or gave birth in a birth pool and how it went/how you felt?

I wanted a pain free birth - couldn’t see the point of having unnecessary pain. Had an early epidural which was topped up. Had some sleep, watched Wimbledon and gave birth. Perfect day.

The positive birth company has just published a book of stories I think!

I've had 4 births all very different 🙈

1st Birth my waters went and had meconium in them so I was put on the drip to speed up my labour then baby got stuck and in distress. I was prepped for a c-section but they tried forceps and thankfully she came. I then haemorrhaged after and was quite poorly. Baby spent several days in NICU due to jaundice and swallowing waters.

2nd was a long labour but baby was born in a pool. Was such a lovely abd relaxing experience.

3rd baby didn't want to wait around. I was sat eating lunch at 1pm, she was in my arms by 1:26pm. Didn't have time for a water birth with her.

4th baby I had my waters broken and was 1cm dilated. 18 hours later I was still only 2.5cm so I went on the drip
And she was born within an hour. I did spend time in the water but had to come out to go on the drip.

I'm opiate intolerant so all done with gas and air.

Sorry, you wanted actual birth stories!

Well, I had my last in hospital. Went in the evening of 38+6 as I thought my waters had gone, and there were too many kids at home for that to be a relaxing option (including my teenage son's room next to the only bath.)

Gave birth around 6am the following morning.

Laboured alone (DH at home with sick kids).

My (v experienced) midwife popped her head in maybe 3 times, including once where she ducked out when I started having a contraction - I thought was very rude, aside from also being the opposite of observations protocol.

She got lucky and happened to pop in literally as the baby's head had emerged, so it didn't go down as an unattended birth on Labour Ward (which I think would automatically have triggered some kind of a review/investigation).

Only pain relief was a bath (all I need, except the part where the first one, run by the midwife, turned out to be cold once I'd managed to v painfully inch my way to it, and then it took another half an hour to re-run as the water pressure was so low there was only a trickle of water coming out of the tap.)

So on paper, a great birth. For me, annoying as they didn't have enough staff to send a midwife with me to the Midwife Led Unit just down the hall, where I could have laboured in a pool, instead of inching my way around a small bath trying to find a position I could 'comfortably' labour and birth in. It was very uncomfortable, and not pleasant.

Hopefully as this is your first birth, you'd get a bit more actual care during labour and delivery than I did (I didn't 'need' it, and luckily neither did my baby, tho they had no way of knowing that!).

However, it is definitely true that the squeakiest hinge gets the oil, so if they're understaffed - and they pretty much always are - if you're not making a racket and kicking up a fuss and being v pushy about you want/need, you'll find yourself at the back of the queue.

Hence why I personally wouldn't take the risk, especially with a first baby, and would sacrifice many other things in order to be able to afford independent one-to-one midwifery care, at home, with a hired or 2nd-hand birthing pool. Failing that, a doula who can advocate for you in hospital should you need to go in.

Good luck!

@nickname4789 - that’s awful- I’m so sorry. Women submit to so much stuff. I didn’t have any internal exams after my first labour - they are largely unnecessary. I wish more people knew this.

I requested the pool room for my birth, with the idea of labouring in it for the majority then getting out to push. When I was admitted at 5cm, 11pm at night- the hot water was broken in the labour ward! So although I had a pool room, I just had to look at it the whole time [grim]. Just thought I'd give an alternative story to someone who didn't get their water birth.

@Notellinganyone i agree 100%. I never knew this in my first labour and I wish I did. There were so many problems with my treatment during labour, not being listened to being the main thing. I feel when it’s your first the midwives don’t take you as seriously. I guess that’s why I’m glad I’m electing a c section this time

@HBGKC thank you for the advice. The costs of a private midwife I have seen range from £5-12k so unfortunately it is completely out of the question for me. Any money I have at the minute is going into a pot for my maternity leave.

@Notellinganyone interesting point. Obviously I have never gave birth before so have no idea how often they do internal exams. It was my impression that they needed to do them to see how dilated you are? If you decline them how do they know where your at/ what drugs to offer etc or anything like that??

It may also be worth noting I have already tested positive for strep B so know I will be advised to have antibiotics during birth too which will probably mean I can’t labour at home? Not sure about much as we’re not at that stage yet to talk about these things at the midwife appointments!

thanks everyone

Wowsers, that's gone up a lot over a decade or so - possibly related to the difficulty independent midwives have had in finding insurance.

A doula would be a cheaper way of securing a (hopefully) knowledgable advocate.

Internal examinations aren't compulsory, or necessary. They carry a very small risk of infection, and are a (minor) intervention in themselves. It has also been known for waters to break/be broken during them.

It's good be aware of all the possible consequences of even 'minor' interventions, and of epidurals/other pain relief/methods of assisted delivery etc.

That's an awful lot of research right there, but when you're actually in labour having to make these choices, it'll be too late. Now is the time to arm yourself with as much evidence-based knowledge as possible - Sara Wickham is great for this.

Group B Strep:

www.rcog.org.uk/for-the-public/browse-our-patient-information/group-b-streptococcus-gbs-in-pregnancy-and-newborn-babies/

www.sarawickham.com/information-updates/updated-uk-gbs-guideline/

@BEO intrauterine growth restriction both babes were tiddlers 5lb.

I was considered low risk pregnancy, although was sick all the way through. Had read about hypnobirthing and ideally wanted a water birth, but kept my plans loose.

Got suddenly very ill with pre-eclampsia at 38+5 and ended up having an emergency c section.

Midwives and doctors were excellent, can't fault them. Downside being I had to spend 5 days in hospital as baby was born at 5lb.

Recovery from c section was fine, and baby is slowly catching up size wise.

Lol my thoughts exactly! If men gave birth, they'd all have epidurals. I'm pregnant with my first and want one- not trying without unless I'm left without a choice.

My first 2 pregnancies were great. Had vaginal delivery worh them. My 3rd wasn't so easy as I had a 3rd degree tear and shoulder dystopia(very painful recovery).. pregnant with my 4th and have a c section.

I went to my 36w scan thinking everything is fine but instead they found out the baby's stomach size was reducing so they had to bring her out 5 days later. Induction made me ill and baby's heart beat was reducing so they took me to emergency CS. Have a plan but be prepared for everything to change with short notice.

Like someone else said… have a plan.. but if it doesn’t go to plan don’t beat yourself up,or feel that your birth experience was any less special… I was still asking for a water birth while being wheeled for an emergency c section and afterwards spent too long being depressed about the birth. Such a waste of time.

Baby 1 - Spontaneous labour at 40+1. Waters broke 11 hours into contractions. From this point, contraction one on top of the other. Epidural 20 hours in. It took 30 hours to get to 10cm. 2 hours of pushing. Taken to theatre for ventouse. Ventouse abandoned after 1 attempt. Cat 1 emergency c section. Major post partum haemorrhage of 2.5L and blood transfusion. I had a drain fitted to my womb and couldn't shower for 4 days. Discharged on day 5.

Baby 2 - elective c section booked for 40+0 but went into labour at 39+1. Contractions one on top of the other from the word go. Arrived at hospital and was examined. I was 9cm dilated. I decided to go ahead with an emergency c section so I waited 3 hours for theatre. 0.5L blood loss and up and having a wash 5 hours later. Discharged on day 4 (should have been the next day but I had a temperature so they wanted to monitor me.

Good luck! Don't bother with a birth plan, keep open minded that things can change at the drop of a hat in labour.

My friend had a straight forward vaginal birth with her first baby and with her second had an emergency c section.

@BEO i had undiagnosed Group B strep with my eldest DD and she was very poorly from it, so for this pregnancy, my midwife has been extremely hot on the topic for me.

Yes, you will need antibiotics so lots of areas rule out homebirths because they have to be given by IV. Internal exams will also be limited to the bare min necessary as they introduce infection risk. Our hospital still allows you to use the birth centre / pool etc but i think thats not the same for some MLUs so worth chatting to your midwife if you really want a water birth. You should make sure you call triage as soon as your waters break as the clock starts ticking for the antibiotics from then.

The GBS charity has a great factsheet about birth options with GBS and a helpline for if you have any questions. www.gbss.org.uk

First baby - 39 week induction. Pessary worked too well but midwife kept saying they don’t check in the first 24 hours because it’s usually really slow, had a bleed and then they realised I was already 7 cm. Still took about 3 hours before they took me to labour suite, the drip didn’t work at all and after 2.5 days of labour, an emergency c section for failure to progress

second baby - 39 week elective c section. Had massive internal bleeding but doctors kept fobbing me off saying the pain is expected and all the swelling and bruising is normal despite the fact I never laboured at all. Took them days to realise what was going on and nearly died….

husband is going to get a vasectomy

I feel like I was very lucky with mine.

1st
Smooth pregnancy, labour started at 37+6 which was a Thursday. It was unbelievably long, I wasn't admitted until the Sunday at 5am. That first long bit at home was the hardest and I was exhausted. I got in the pool straight away and stayed in it until he was born 10 hours later at 3pm. I can't recommend the pool enough, it is amazing and was the only pain relief I had. Could have gone after 4 hours but no one to discharge so left 20 hours later.

2nd
Smooth pregnancy, planned home birth.
Went into labour 39+4 at 12.30am, couldn't fill pool in time, baby was born at 3.30am. Midwives left at 5.30am. Only had gas and air, would have preferred the pool but it happened so fast it didn't matter too much.

Both times had 2nd degree tears and stitches.

All in all though I think of them both positively.

1st birth: 6 days overdue, waters broke at 10pm, contractions started immediately at 8-10 minute intervals. Went to hospital. When the contractions were on 3 minutes (around 4am) they took me to the delivery room ... baby was born about 45 minutes later. No pain relief offered (not even gas and air, I don't know if that's standard some places, but it isn't here) to be fair, it was all fast enough that it wasn't necessary. I know I was really lucky compared to many women.

2nd birth: My favourite one, the only birth I really enjoyed. 10 days overdue. Contractions started at 8pm, baby born at 1.30am. It was very relaxing, because there happened to be a very lovely midwife on duty who gave me simple instructions along the way - just what I needed to know, when I needed to know it, which really made me feel secure and in control.

3rd birth: 2 days before due date. Weird one. Contractions started on 10 minutes at 6pm. Went to hospital because I was afraid of no 3 coming very quickly. At midnight the contractions were still only on 8 minutes and I felt like a fraud! Contractions started properly at 6pm the following day, baby born at 10.30pm.

4th birth: 10 days overdue. Started fine, very similar to no.2 but baby had a massive head and the midwife ended up climbing on a chair and pressing down on my stomach at the same time as I pushed because I just couldn't push hard enough on my own (found out later that this baby's head had a 38.5cm circumference... all the others had 35cm so quite a difference). Everything was fine in the end, but this was the only time I had a scary moment.

I had a really positive water birth. For me, the warm water helped with the pain as soon as I got in the pool. I was in the birthing pool for probably around 3 hours including labouring and giving birth, had gas & air and only needed one stitch afterwards. I’m hoping to be able to do the same next time around although would always avoid being too set on something because it may not always be possible. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and the birth, you’ll know what feels right when it comes to it.

Hiya, after getting an abnormal result on a growth scan (foetus had apparently jumped from 40th to 88th percentile) we were offered induction and decided to take it to avoid possible complications in delivery/c section etc. Induced at 39+3 I found the whole process quite straightforward and positive. Was checked in Thursday morning to a shared ward and after a quick scan and exam showed I was 1cm dilated was given a pessary. Was slightly uncomfortable but nothing too bad, had some very light cramping. After 24 hours the pessary was removed and I was given a gel. Only needed the lesser strength. I was dilated enough for them to break my waters by Friday evening but there were no beds available on the labour ward so I had to wait until early Sat morning.

After I was transferred to the labour ward and a private room my waters were broken at 6am Sat by the midwives and I immediately started having strong, painful contractions. They initially said I may feel some period like cramping and slowly things would ramp up...nope! I decided on having an epidural after a few hours of being in absolute agony as the pain for me was unbearable. Had tried gas and air and pethidine which did nothing. I was initially so scared to have one (needlephobic) but the midwives and anesthetist were amazing and I didnt feel a thing apart from 2 or 3 scratches on my lower back.

Labour after that was a breeze I was ready to push by Saturday evening but was only having 1 or 2 contractions in 10 despite being fully dilated. I was given oxytocin to speed up contractions but again my body reacted to an extreme and started having back to back contractions which stopped the baby's heart. That was the scary part had about 6 or 7 people rush in the room I was told that I needed to deliver immediately and was offered an assisted delivery with forceps and episiotomy or emergency c section. I was told that a c section at full dilation came with more risk so opted for forceps. Baby came out after two pushes and I didn't feel a thing thanks to the epidural and gas and air. All over by 1am Sunday morning although we were kept in the post natal ward for observation and went home Sunday night.

So the whole process for me took about 4 days. Takeaway, it was a positive experience despite the complications but if you end up inducing for a big baby like us just be aware ours came out 7b9oz at the 55th percentile rolls eyes so didn't actually need it. But better safe than sorry I guess :)

Also forgot to say, don't plan too much, I was set on a water birth pretty much my whole pregnancy 😅 but anything can happen and you've just got to go with the advice and make the best decisions you can at the time. Good luck!

@xXCassieXx thank you! 11 weeks left for me so starting to think more about it now. I am scared of the same thing happening, I.e needing the drip and then an assisted delivery as I have heard so many people say they needed. I know your numb but think I would rather have a section at the first instance 🙈 but I know you don’t plan how things are going to work out and just have to take it as it comes. Hope you and baby are doing well 💖