IVF pregnancies - Spring 2024

[thislittlebird]

Anyone here in a similar position? I'm feeling a bit of an odd one out on forums now where I don't feel pregnant pregnant and I don't feel infertile infertile, and thought I'd see if others were in the same, tentative situation. I don't feel like I'm ready to join the main May 2024 gang until I'm more confident this will continue.

I'm only 4 weeks 5 days :/

@thislittlebird I'm 10+2 but now measuring 10+5. It was a private test yes. Cost about £400 🤯

@TheBirdintheCave it’s so expensive :/

I don’t know what to do for the best. Don’t really want to pay and I know nhs will offer it if I get anything indicating I need it on the 12w scan, but still, can’t decide whether to go for it.

@thislittlebird We ummed and ahhhed on NIPT too and decided to just wait for the 12 week NHS screening in the end. We decided that even if NIPT came back high risk, we'd need to have diagnostic tests before making any decisions anyway. It's a difficult one.

I tried some 0% prosecco and it was gross!

That's really interesting about the older dads thing, I had no idea. Will give that article a proper read.

@TheBirdintheCave Woohoo on scan!

@countrypunk so when you waited for the nhs, did they offer you NIPT straight away, or did they not do it and just the NT test? I don't know what's standard but as much as it will add extra weeks if I need a TFMR, I'm really hoping I don't because the embryo was euploid. Not that that covers all problems, but probably main ones for our age and there's a very small margin of error.

Yeah, can't say I've loved the 0% prosecco so far. Didn't have any this weekend, I will try these two soon.

I found it really interesting that men have more daughters when older, they speculated it could be an evolutionary thing.

@thislittlebird The NHS will only offer NIPT if your 12 week screening tests come back as high risk. At your 12 week scan they'll measure the fluid at the back of your baby's neck and you'll have a blood test for a couple of hormones. If all of those tests combine to indicate high risk of either Downs, Edwards or Patau, which I think is more than 1/150 chance, they'll offer you NIPT. If that comes back high risk you'll be offered CVS or amniocentesis.

Arc is a really helpful resource: www.arc-uk.org/

I have read of women having false positive results from the NIPT, which is ultimately why I decided to go the NHS route first. It's only a screening test and it's not infallible. We didn't do PGT-A either.

It's all such a personal choice and I don't think there's a perfect answer. I know how nerve wracking it all is. I was very very nervous before my 12 week scan but just remember, the odds of all being fine are massively on your side!

@countrypunk yeah that’s what I thought. It’s quite a lot to pay for the sake of a few weeks, I don’t know what to do.

I’ve also heard some stories like that and I don’t want to be misinformed either way and spend weeks panicking or thinking it’s fine.

I hope the odds are good, it’s just hard to imagine it’ll all be fine after all this time trying.

@thislittlebird Personally I wouldn’t pay that for the sake of a few weeks.
I still feel the same as you- really struggling with having confidence that this is all going to turn out ok. Especially after seeing the news about Rebecca Adlington! I can’t shake the feeling of impending doom! 😟

@Misty84 I saw that this morning. So frightening.

@Misty84 I’m in a real mess thinking about whether to do it. It’s 2 weeks, I can’t see what difference it makes beyond a slightly earlier miscarriage/termination. If I need a TFMR I’m still an old potential mother at the end of it, my biggest issue is I’m unlikely to ever conceive again unless I’m willing to restart ivf, so two weeks probably doesn’t make much difference to me.

I’m booked for a 9.5 week scan this week, I am keen to know all is well so don’t want to delay that. I’m leaning towards waiting, I know I’ll come up as high risk and they’ll probably run the NIPT on me anyway.

Oh god, I just googled it. Poor Rebecca. What makes me annoyed is that 20 weeks doesn’t count as stillborn here, so you get no entitlement to leave until after 24 weeks. It’s hard to believe it will work, I know what you mean.

@thislittlebird If it doesn’t make much difference then don’t get yourself into a mess about it, focus on your scan this week.

Just out of interest do you have frozen embryos? Or is this your one and only?

I had planned to tell work this morning as it’s getting harder to hide but I bottled it. I keep wanting to get as far as possible- always to the next scan- waiting to have faith in this!

We’ve rescheduled our wedding by a year so that’s one big job done. Everything we do or person we tell feels like tempting fate though, it’s so annoying!

Relieved I’m not the only one that felt like utter shit reading the news about Rebecca. It’s made me feel so anxious. So sad for her.

I saw the news about Rebecca too. Absolutely awful. It's scared me too.

@thislittlebird It's definitely not a given that you'll be high risk. I'm 39 and my risk for all three came back low. It's based on various factors including NT and the two hormone levels.

I know it's impossible not to worry after all we've been through to get here. I worry every day too but it's important that you're able to let yourself enjoy being pregnant and be excited. Constant worry is exhausting. Have you had your booking appointment yet? Could you talk to your midwife about your fears? Or even have a counselling session with a therapist at your IVF clinic? Sorry if I'm overstepping. I'm also scared it's all going to go tits up. Sometimes I feel like I'm punishing myself for my fertility struggles. But I know if I don't worry and things go wrong, I'll be just as devastated as if I had worried and things went wrong, so I may as well let go and enjoy it! If that makes sense..?

@countrypunk I thought age would be a high risk trigger. Apparently PAPP-A can come back low? in IVF pregnancies, so I'm expecting something to trigger it.

@Misty84 I have one, untested frozen embryo in storage. Nothing else. Unfortunately it's 5CC, so it's not even likely to survive the thaw, which is why it was untested. Might as well be none, basically.

My work already know, which is mad. But my boss asked how the IVF was going so I was honest and told her, but said I'm not out of the woods yet. How many weeks are you now @Misty84?

Rescheduling the wedding is good, you can focus on the baby prep instead!

@thislittlebird Yes certainly if my work asked me I would be honest too. No one has dared mention ivf or similar to me in a long time though- think they see me as a lost cause and don’t want to upset me. Little do they know I’m 15 weeks!! 15+4 to be exact, and to answer your question. Which seems mad. The weeks have started flying by which is such a great change from the early stages!

@thislittlebird Age is a factor and it will raise risk a bit.

The Papp-a thing looks complicated - apparently some studies show a difference in IVF/ICSI pregnancies and some don't.

The screening stuff is such a mindfuck. Even if you come back high risk, the likelihood is that everything is totally fine!

@Misty84 The weeks do start flying by after 12 week scan don't they! I thought 8 weeks until 20 week scan would feel like a lifetime but I blinked and now it's nearly here...

I have now decided that, if I keep not having a bump, I will wait to tell work when Im 22 weeks. That is 1 week after my 20 week scan (at 21 weeks), and also the end of my probabtion period!

I dont think they would let me go if I announced my pregnancy before the end of it, as they would have to justify it to the governing body (you cant fire pregnant women willy nilly!) and it would be hard to replace me, but announcing it at the end of it feel better, to me.

Horrible news about Rebecca... That is heartbreaking.

I was shitting myself that something like that was going to happen last friday at my gender scan. And then she was asleep, and not moving! terrifying! But she was just sleeping, and her heart was beating nicely and strongly!

And I agree, the weeks are now flying by! Nearly 17 weeks for me! Just another 4.5 weeks until my anatomy scan!!!

@ASGIRC No bump yet! I had one at 12 weeks 🫣 I thought it was mostly food but it's grown steadily and now I feel huge! You might just suddenly pop...

@countrypunk nope, no bump yet!!!

When Im lying down in bed there is a HINT of a bump. But still quite small. But when I get up, it shifts, and becomes invisible.

I am not the skinniest, so my flab is doing some work, there! At nearly 17 weeks, im still wearing all my jeans with no discomfort.

I hope it grows gradually! And that by the end it looks like Im only 5 months pregnant! Nice and tidy! LOL That would be my dream!

is this your first?
In my due date whatsapp group, Im the only one with no bump yet, and Im one of the farthest along as well!

@ASGIRC It is my first. I'm quite small but I get bloated very easily so don't think I've got the strongest stomach muscles... I'm a bit apprehensive about how massive I'm gonna get! I can't wear any of my previous waistbands, apart from one pair of v stretchy leggings!

Is this a mumsnet WhatsApp group? The March pregnancy thread is so quiet - I think there's a Facebook group but I'm not on Facebook...

@countrypunk Ive never been one to bloat, and although I havent really exercised in years, I think my muscles are pretty good.

No, this is a local, portuguese group. Didnt join the MN April group, it felt like there was too many people there already!

@ASGIRC Ah right. Yeah, I also prefer chatting to fellow IVFers. Everyone seemed a bit too laid back in the normal March group!

@ASGIRC I was in the MN April WhatsApp group for 1 hour, there were 162 messages in that time so I swiftly left!🤭 Way too much for me.

Like you say @countrypunk I also prefer talking to people who’ve had a struggle to get here, more on my wavelength!
None of my waistbands fit me anymore but I’m still unsure how much is bloat and not being able to do my usual exercise classes!

@countrypunk the march thread is quiet? I assumed those main ones would be busy. I thought about adding June to the title of this one and maybe I will, see if any others want to join.

162 messages sounds overwhelming @Misty84, I would not like that. It's very hard because I just don't feel the same as someone who had a few shags and got their baby after a few months of trying, it just isn't the same at all. I spent so long on ttc threads with fertile people complaining about how long it took them that I'm probably traumatised. They'd be losing the plot after 4 months and I'd have been on the same thread for the past 50 months, and that was when I was still counting. So it very much still feels like I can't relate to people who haven't gone through all this.

I'm shitting it about my Thursday 9.5w scan now. Symptoms have got less and less as time has gone on, so it's not very reassuring. I do have tender boobs and the occasional twinge but nothing much going on really. Decided I'll hold off on the NIPT for now, will see if the nhs offer it to me and if they don't I'll consider doing it privately.

@thislittlebird Really quiet! I think most of the posters have moved to the Facebook thread. I only lurked, but it's a shame because I think lots of us like mumsnet for the anonymity.

Hope everyone's doing well this morning.

I've just ordered an algae oil supplement. Apparently we should all be eating loads of omega 3s. Some NHS trusts seem to recommend a supplement to prevent pre term birth. I used to eat loads of salmon but I've really gone off it since being pregnant.