IVF pregnancies - Spring 2024

[thislittlebird]

Anyone here in a similar position? I'm feeling a bit of an odd one out on forums now where I don't feel pregnant pregnant and I don't feel infertile infertile, and thought I'd see if others were in the same, tentative situation. I don't feel like I'm ready to join the main May 2024 gang until I'm more confident this will continue.

I'm only 4 weeks 5 days :/

@IVFAlone i mean I feel like it doesn’t take much to induce anxiety in an ivf pregnancy! I would give it a few more days and then if you’re still worried, you could do what I did and see if you can get a private scan for peace of mind. I know it’s really hard. When I felt good last weekend, I tried to remind myself that no symptoms aren’t a sign of something being wrong. There are generally very specific symptoms when something is wrong.

@KG1244 There are studies about live birth rates of different embryos.
Its not so much the grading, as in the letters, but the number.

Male embryos reach 5 quicker, so 5AA(orAB, BB etc) are 70% more likely to be boys and grade 3 embryos are 60% more likely to be girls.

But theres still a good chance of a 3 embryo being a boy (40%!!) and a 5 being a girl (30%!)

@IVFAlone They come and go. Every single time Ive even mentioned that Ive had a good few days, with no nausea, no aversions, nothing, the next day Im floored by symptoms. And that is still happening at 14 weeks!

Symptoms are not a good indication of anything. No symptoms can mean a healthy viable pregnancy, but you can have loads of symptoms and not have a viable pregnancy.
Dont put any weight on them.

@ASGIRC The grading thing with IVF always made me a little sad. Like I was happy to do the treatment as I just want a baby but the odds of one sex being higher than the other always felt off to me.

@ASGIRC very interesting….do you know what it is for a 4?

@KG1244 grade 4 are pretty 50/50. It skews slightly towards male, something like 55% male and 45% female

@TheBirdintheCave its just genetics. But youll be glad to know that in terms of euploidy, no one gender is better! It is roughly 50/50

Heres one study I found

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S001502821000600X

Terrified now. I went to the loo before and there was a tiny spot of very pale pink. Nothing since and no cramps or anything but in my head this is all over now. I had no blood at all with my son but it happened with every MC. I'm so upset. I'd really convinced myself that this was the one 😢

@TheBirdintheCave don't panic, I had a little bit of spotting and all was fine. How far along are you?

@hopefulmum46 I'm 8+3. Next scan isn't until 10+2 so just under two weeks away 😭 Nothing this morning. It was so tiny. I wouldn't even have seen it had I just gone to the loo normally but because I'm paranoid I wipe before I go.

@TheBirdintheCave I'm sure it's fine but can you book a private scan for peace of mind as you're worried? I'm not sure the EPU would see you with such a tiny amount of blood but you could ask. Or speak to your IVF clinic?

@hopefulmum46 I'm under the EPU already for recurrent miscarriage. This is a surprise natural pregnancy in between FETs so my clinic aren't involved. I'll email the EPU today and see what they want to do.

That sounds like the best thing to do. Hope they see you and everything's okay x

@ASGIRC thanks for sharing!

@TheBirdintheCave ahhh I know it’s horrible. I had this Thursday night so had a private scan on Friday. It was nothing to worry about. The nhs actually have on their website that you can I experience spotting but I know it’s horrible seeing blood. If you can, try and get a scan just for your own peace of mind.

@TheBirdintheCave I know how scary that can be! I had that 2 weeks ago and was straight out the door to the EPU.
It was nothing. Just my cervix being too sensitive and bleeding over nothing.

They told me not to worry and to only come back if there was RED blood and enough to show on a pad, and not just when wiping.

Talk to your EPU, but I'm sure it is nothing and everything is fine.

@KG1244 @ASGIRC I'm only so scared because I had no spotting in my only successful pregnancy but it's happened in both of my MMCs (though admittedly at six weeks and it was brown so different to this).

I've emailed the EPU but I'm sure they'll just tell me to go away :( The last baby died at 8 weeks (though had been measuring 4 days behind at the previous scan) so I'm extra frightened.

@TheBirdintheCave I know how you're feeling, it's horrible. Remember that every pregnancy is different. Spotting and then miscarrying in one doesn't mean that spotting in another also means miscarriage.

I don't know if it's helpful to think like this, but worrying isn't going to change the outcome. Have you emailed the EPU? Once you do that, can you try and mentally put it away in a box until you hear back? There's absolutely nothing more you can do right now. Please try not to torture yourself. The chances are that everything will be absolutely fine. Look at all the women on this thread who've spotted, me included. It's very common.

Can you get out and about for a nice walk today?

@TheBirdintheCave Also, for a different perspective: I had no spotting when I miscarried, but I have had spotting - twice - in this pregnancy. It's not a reliable symptom.

@countrypunk We were going to Sheffield Park today anyway but I don't want to go now. I feel like I'm just waiting for the end. The sickness will probably stop next. I just keep reading about how most miscarriages start at eight weeks. I don't have a good track record with bleeding so I don't see why this one would be any different.

It's completely destroyed my mental health. I'm so annoyed at myself for constantly checking. If I hadn't wiped before I did a wee I'd never have known 😭 I feel so stupid as it's ruined everything and taken away every hope I had.

@TheBirdintheCave you need to speak to your midwife/doctor, because that levek of anxiety is not normal and is also not healthy.
Spotting is extremely common in first trimester and "most" miscarriages don't start at 8 week.
I obviously understand being concerned, I would be as well. But what you are saying is not that.

Can you GO to the EPU? Try to get seen by them?

@TheBirdintheCave You've had an early scan, is that right? And everything looked healthy? The risk of miscarriage after a healthy scan at 7 weeks goes down to about 3%. Did you have healthy scans with your miscarriages?

I think you should go out today. If you don't you will sit at home and stew and feel worse and worse. I know you may not feel like going out right now but it will help, even if it just tires you out and you then come home and nap.

I can feel your panic and I understand. There are some guided breathing videos on YouTube, if you find that kind of thing helpful.

Sending love ❤️

@ASGIRC I applied to the perinatal mental health at the start of the pregnancy because I know how I react when things go wrong and wanted a safety net but was rejected twice (apparently ASD, OCD, anxiety, depression and recurrent miscarriage aren't good enough reasons to need their help) so they're no help unfortunately and I don't have a midwife yet. EPU is shut today in terms of appointments.

@KG1244 I will probably still go out. And yes scan at 7 weeks was totally normal. MMC ones were always measuring behind. So that is one positive. But a lot can change in 1.5 weeks.

@TheBirdintheCave that is really bad, that they've rejected you!
Is there no emergency EPU where you are? What would happen if you were due and went into labour today?!
What would happen if your bleed was substantial? Who could you call? Where would you go? Can you do that?
I'm asking because I'm not in the UK and things are a bit different here.

2 weeks ago when this happened, I called the 111 equivalent and they told me to go to the EPU, where they checked ne out.

I also think you should definitely still go out, and try to get your mind off it.
Because regardless of outcome, there's nothing you can do.

@ASGIRC EPU is just for under 12 weeks I think, beyond that there's the regular maternity ward which is always open I think.

Pretty sure they just expect you to wait until Monday if things happen on a weekend as, like you said, there's nothing they can actually do.

EPU is up to 16 weeks I think, if severe bleeding when they're not open you have to go to A&E instead. After 16 weeks (I think, might be 20 weeks) it then comes under maternity triage which I assume is available 24/7.

@TheBirdintheCave that's definitely not how it works where I am.
111 always sends you to be checked.
And if you are bleeding a lot, something HAS to be done, for you, if not for the baby!

But we don't differentiate. Maternity emergency rooms are for pregnancies of all stages

If you can't book a private scan for peace of mind and you can't go to EPU (or A&E, though I suspect that would take all day and be a bit pointless), then go out and try to distract yourself!!

I am very confident your spotting means nothing. It is most likely your cervix being silly!
You were ready to throw in the towel the other day, and it was nothing!

@TheBirdintheCave Sorry only just catching up. Hope you’re ok. If perinatal mental health won’t help then speak to your gp this week to be referred to your local mental health team.

There are some apps that can help with managing anxiety levels and mental health. I’m adhd, asd and have anxiety disorder. I found ACT counselling helpful and mindfulness.
If you search ACT therapy on YouTube then short videos come up with some exercises that might be useful. You can also get some good mindfulness apps/online videos that might be beneficial. Your brain is going super fast with panic and you need to try and slow it down if possible.
Feeling as anxious and stressed as you are is not nice for you to be living with. Please speak to your gp and see what other options there are to support your mental well-being. I know mental health services are dire at the moment but there should be something even if it’s just a phone line to call.

With the spotting, I would call 111 and ask what to do because there has to be somewhere to deal with emergencies. If my EpU is not open then my midwife said go to AandE. No one there will think badly of you for going and if you are that worried maybe go to help put your mind at ease. It’s not good for you or baby to be stressed. It’s best to find things out and then you know where you are at.

I’m pretty sure you are absolutely fine but I totally get the panic.