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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Did you tell family you were in labour?

64 replies

Jamjarcandlestick · 13/09/2023 22:49

We’re expecting our first baby.

the texts are flooding in asking if there’s any news.

My mum mentioned to me that they all (parents + siblings) presume that they’ll be told when I’m in labour.

At what point did you send out the news that you were in labour? Would you wake people up in the middle of the night? Wait until you’re in hospital?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TaraRhu · 13/09/2023 22:51

No. But I gave birth quickly and the second time it was the middle of the night.

SausageMonkey2 · 13/09/2023 22:52

Tell them when / if you feel ready. You’ll know on the day. Labours can be very long (and boring until the active bit!).

for now say “I’ll do my best, might be a bit busy having a baby” and leave it there. No one will remember once they see the new baby

Nsky62 · 13/09/2023 22:53

I phoned my ex mother in law years ago ( no texts then), only her

BirdiePlantaganet · 13/09/2023 22:55

No! I told my best friend as she kept me company while I laboured in the bath.

No way did I want family to know, due to excessive fussing potential.

PickledScrump · 13/09/2023 22:56

You’re not obligated to tell anyone. I’ll tell my mum as she’ll be watching my older children, and SIL is a midwife so we’ll likely tell her and MIL so they don’t find out from someone else. Otherwise won’t be telling people until baby is here and probably not for several days after the birth

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 13/09/2023 22:59

No. I went into the hospital with dh late at night anyway. 4am dd was born, I waited til 10am to tell my parents they were now grandparents and named dd.
The second time I didn’t have much choice as I was at Sunday dinner with my parents we had to leave dd1 behind and rang them as 6pm to let them know dd2 was born but not sure when I’d be discharged. They brought dd1 over in the morning to meet her sister 😍

Spottypineapple · 14/09/2023 04:07

Don't!

The way I saw it, telling them would mean they would expect 'updates'. I knew I wouldn't be in a position, or want to give 'updates' which would just mean potentially hours of silence from me and therefore worry from them. And I didn't want to be badgered. I just rang them once baby had arrived.

This time I've even avoided telling them a due date. I've just said 'around the middle of X month' to avoid the badgering.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 14/09/2023 04:12

I have an 18 mo and a 6 week old. And yes. Immediate family knew when I was in labour. They respected our boundaries and didn't harass us during labour and only responded to text or calls when my partner or I updated them.

My phone was kept on the other side of the room in labour anyway and my partners was on do not disturb/silent as well so it might no different who knew!

Don't stress yourself out about it. Phones are easily switched off!

justanothermanicmonday1 · 14/09/2023 04:13

Made*

PerfectMatch · 14/09/2023 04:20

With DC1 I had a long labour (27 hours from waters breaking to birth) and both sets of parents knew but we didn't tell anyone else. My parents turned up at the hospital for the last few hours as they were getting so impatient / worried, but they sat in the waiting room and I didn't see them till I'd had the baby. My PILs were rather distracted because DH's grandmother died during my labour .

With DC2 and DC3 (quick labours) my parents knew because they were looking after the older DC. I don't think anyone else knew until afterwards though.

PlaneMum19 · 14/09/2023 04:35

My first labour - yes my husband kept MIL and my DM updated but not that much (during Covid)
second labour - my DM was there as it was very quick, MIL was updated a couple of times in the 9 hours I was in hospital as she had my DS1. Siblings no, anyone else no, it could be the middle of the night.

kweeble · 14/09/2023 04:39

No and at that point you will not want there to be any pressure to give a running commentary. Tell them in your own time - be present for the birth of your child.

justanotherlaura · 14/09/2023 04:40

I told my mum because she came to look after our dog. We didn't tell anyone else until the baby arrived. My dad and step mum said it was good because they woke up to a message he was here and didn't have a night of worry knowing I was in labour

Fallingthroughclouds · 14/09/2023 04:43

I waited till she was born.

user1492757084 · 14/09/2023 04:45

Only told those who were minding my kids.

So - first child - no one.
Second child - mother
Third child - MIL

Those we told were the first to hear of the birth.
Those we told did not tell anyone else we were at the hospital.

stayathomer · 14/09/2023 05:35

Yes, quick text on the way or while waiting. In most cases there’s time (as opposed to the other thread on mn about when you told the baby had arrived- had dh not told they probably wouldn’t have found out until waaay afterwards as I was in too much of a stunned existence 😅)

dikwad · 14/09/2023 05:59

Yep they all knew I was going in to be induced and they were all informed when I went into active labour and they were all informed as soon as I had him! My mother was there also as was my husband! My son was an IVF baby and our families were as invested as we were, but then even if it had been a natural conception, it would have been the same anyway!

Gurthnamuckla · 14/09/2023 06:18

I didn’t. I’m not fucking Reuters.

mondaytosunday · 14/09/2023 06:31

Waters broke about 11pm but no point telling my parents and them having a sleepless night. Husband waited til morning then phoned them (and his parents). News spread from there. I had the baby a couple hours later by section. The second baby was a planned section so everyone knew when it was going to happen so he called people after she was born.

buckingmad · 14/09/2023 06:35

I rang my mum when my waters broke at midnight but we also dropped the dog off at hers. DH rang his mum.

PerspiringElizabeth · 14/09/2023 06:35

First kid induced, pretty sure I wouldn’t have told them I was being induced as hate the pressure. Glad I didn’t as once I told them I’d had the baby they were up at the hospital (3 hours from their house) before I was even on the ward. They arrived while I was having my first shower in recovery section.

Second and third were c sections so yes they knew for childcare etc.

My response to the irritating ‘any news?’ texts was ‘oh yeah! I had the baby last week I just didn’t tell anyone’.

Aparecium · 14/09/2023 06:56

No. Neither of us needed the pressure of continuous updating. Dh phoned my parents within minutes of dc1's birth in the small hours. I don't remember whether he phoned his parents then or the following morning

I'm glad we did it that way. When I was definitely in labour with dc2 I phoned my parents at 7am to warn them that we'd be calling on them for childcare at some point during the day, but not to come now, we'd let them know when we needed them. This had been agreed in advance. They were on our doorstep 45mins later. We sent them back home. I love my mum to bits, but she's a melodramatic worrywart and there is no way I want her anywhere near me when in labour! My dad's another matter entirely, calm and rational, but they come as a package.

Percypiglover · 14/09/2023 07:09

See how you feel, first time my waters broke but nothing else happened so I was induced 24 hours later so daily all knew. I had Ben adamant no one was coming to meet baby in the hospital as we wouldn't be in for long so no need. In the end I stayed in over night for various reasons so my parents came to meet him. Second time dp had eldest, had a sweep in the morning so he went to dp for the day just in case and so he stayed and again we met them and IL know what was happening. These things just happen sometimes and you don't know how you will feel.

Dogon · 14/09/2023 07:12

Had to ring my mum as we (DH and I) were in public when waters broke and my clothes were soaked. I hid away in the toilets until my mum could bring fresh clothes! I think she told the rest of the family. Not sure what we've had done otherwise, no plans were made either way! I wasn't on labour long (4 hours after waters broke i gave birth)

Hungryfrogs23 · 14/09/2023 07:13

We have a family WhatsApp group which has my parents and brother and sister in law in it. So I put on there any major updates. But it's entirely up to you who you tell and when. People usually mean well and are just really excited and nervous for you!

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