Did you tell family you were in labour?

[Jamjarcandlestick]

We’re expecting our first baby.

the texts are flooding in asking if there’s any news.

My mum mentioned to me that they all (parents + siblings) presume that they’ll be told when I’m in labour.

At what point did you send out the news that you were in labour? Would you wake people up in the middle of the night? Wait until you’re in hospital?

Second time I had to tell my parents so they could take care of DC1.

Other than that, all these messages get a response of:
I either 1. haven't had the baby so this is annoying 2. am in labour and have chosen not to tell you 3. have had the baby but haven't got round to telling you

In no case is it useful to ask if the baby has come

There's something a bit vulgar about people expecting a blow by blow account of the labour! As if you haven't got better things to focus on.

With the first I didn't know until 30 mins before baby was out, so no. Otherwise I wouldn't have gone out of my way to tell them but wouldn't have hidden it either.

With my second, several people were told as they were all roped in for transport and childcare!

Nope!
OK, relatively short labour with baby arriving around 7am.

Had baby an hour or two before telling anyone. We wanted that time by ourselves as a new little family.

My waters broke early in the morning but I said nothing to anyone apart from DP. Messaged my mum that day as if nothing was going on. Labour started that evening and we went into hospital early hours of the next morning. DP sent a message to my mum asking her to please check on my horses and let the cat out. When I FaceTimed her after DS was born that afternoon to show him to her, she asked me why I hadn't "fessed up" to being in labour. Because I didn't bloody want to, I always hated the thought of people knowing. I get on very well with my mum usually but found this comment quite upsetting when I'd just delivered a baby. I'd just become a mum yet felt like I was being told off by mine! She had previously said she felt it was her right to know when I went in. Next time I suppose she will need to know as she will look after DS.

No I didn't with first and will try not if I can help with second, but may not be possible logistically with childcare.

We made the decision not to tell as we wanted the first 24 hours to be just us not worrying about influx of messages / replying.

We then just showed up with new baby the day after, we knew family where all going to be together conveniently, so it was a great surprised and the look on their faces was priceless!

I told them when my waters broke and i was in hospital but i am super close to both sides of the family. I did not tell them when my labour started two days later (i was only 34 weeks so it wasn't definate it would start). I probably would have called them but it was 3am and intensified super fast. and was born at 7 before they had even woken up

This has just reminded me how my boss sent me a text about how to use my sit stand desk when I was in labour, super high on gas and air.

I replied that I was on the labour ward having a baby, but found a link online for her 🤣 She has never let me forget it..

I never told anyone with my first. We went up early hours of morning and BB was born at 12.20. Was different when I had dd as needed someone to look after ds. But I picked ds up in early to labour from pre school dn went to same one so left D's with her and went up.

I also didn't want my sister constantly ringing the maternity. Or turning up unannounced so told other ds not to tell her. Both times Ex went and made phonecalls to my mum and his dad and we left it to them to tell other family members. This was 98 and 2001 before mobile phones were common. Even if social media was about I wouldn't have been announcing their birth on Facebook.

No way! Told them when baby was safely here. I did not want to be pestered for updates or for anyone to worry because they hadn’t had any in a while

Told my sister with dc 1 and she and our very good pal were on a night out. They were drunkenly sending me texts saying "push! Push! PUSH!" All night. 😆 I imagine they thought they were being helpful...

I did with my second and wish I hadn’t. Despite saying please don’t come to us until I’m ready they appeared (from 4hrs drive away) that day and hung about for 36hrs until baby was born. Then when I was lying in hospital half asleep following 2.5 days of no sleep they appeared wanting to fuss over us. I was not welcoming. They got offended.

Would have been much better all round if we’d have just announced the birth on our own timeline.

That said, I’m now a mum to 2 girls and not sure how I’ll feel being kept in the dark if one of them went into labour!

No way! You don’t owe people a live commentary.

As PP said upthread id hate to worry my family. Labour can go on for hours and hours, and that’s hours of them worrying unnecessarily

Yep, first time round, I rang my immediate family to let them know when my waters broke on a Friday evening, as I was so excited. My sister had already had two such fast births she didn't get time to go to the hospital. It took my lazy lump.....72 hours to arrive (Monday morning), by which point I could barely remember my own name, we hadn't even thought of looking at a phone for hours, and my poor Mum in particular was going practically insane with worry.

No. But only because it did occur to me. I was induced. They knew I went in. But was on my own due to covid. Was more DH concerned that DH would be allowed to come in Time to attend the birth.