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Original poster

Fairy lights in birth hospital bag?

110 replies

crumblylancs · 20/08/2023 19:15

Can someone tell me if this is the new normal? My tiktok is full of pregnancy videos, including women packing their hospital bags with fairy lights/battery operated tea lights for during labour.

I can't imagine getting in to delivery and trying to get a load of fairy lights hung up

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BakewellGin1 · 20/08/2023 21:19

Fairy lights were the last thing on my mind especially by DC2 when I knew what giving birth entailed...
Feeling like I was pushing a water melon out of my arse, DC being back to back and then literally being dragged out on third attempt would not have been made more pleasent with fairy lights 😂

mamabells · 20/08/2023 21:19

MrsMarzetti · 20/08/2023 20:00

Oil diffusers, tea lights and fairy lights! I had a jug of water on the bedside table. But to be fair we didn't have birthing experiences, we just went in had a baby, stayed for a week then went home and in the majority of cases just got on with it. But whatever floats your boat.

...if it makes you more relaxed and helps a safe delivery i think it's a good idea. Particularly if you give birth in the maternity led unit. I had a c section but they encouraged music and asked how i wanted lighting. Surely each birth is an 'experience'.

Darkmodal · 20/08/2023 21:22

I had no birthing plan, just whatever was needed to get the baby here safely. I wasn't fussed about an experience, having a natural birth, breathing techniques, lights, water, music etc etc. I mentally prepared for hell tbh.

I ended up with a c section as baby was transverse at 40+ weeks.

I got to choose the music in the operating theatre, we still listen to the song my son was born to and as we had to stay for 9 days after, my husband decorated our room with lights and a Christmas Tree. (It was Christmas, he wasn't being random!)

The nurses loved it and one of them wistfully said the room has never felt so nice and welcoming!

So, long story short, don't knock it til you've tried it!

applesandmares · 20/08/2023 21:25

I did an antenatal course with a midwife and was advised on the importance of oxytocin during labour and how stress can slow down and interrupt labour. They suggested many things to encourage relaxation like essential oils, fairy lights or battery candles, music etc.

I took battery lights but did I even consider using them? No. Even when sweat was literally dripping down my face, I didn't remember the fan in my hospital bag. By the time I got to hospital I was just hanging on for dear life 😂

Lifeisrelentless · 20/08/2023 21:26

I didn’t take them in my bag but there were some in the room I gave birth in with my second. I remember the midwife faffing about putting them on while I was in such agony I was thinking “I don’t care about bloody fairy lights!!” But they look pretty in the background of the pictures after she was born haha.

VikingVolva · 20/08/2023 21:33

A digression on essential oils/diffusers

Your body can go weird during labour, and scents that you think you'd love (and are generally known for calming effects) can really irritate the hell out of you., unexpectedly but dramatically.

So don't use a diffuser - instead, take cotton hankies or tough kitchen roll and drip your oils on to that (train DH, as you might be distracted) and then you can inhale from that, or discard quickly if you don't like it after all. If diffused everywhere, you're a bit stuck.....

landbeforegrime · 20/08/2023 21:34

i took an oil diffuser. in fairness if either of my birthing partners (dh and sis) had been on the ball then I'm sure it would have been lovely to have some scents going. i was out of it on some kind of pain relief and the diffuser stayed in the bag. although that said, it may have made it out but if it did then i certainly did not notice...

BubziOwl · 20/08/2023 21:52

Clefable · 20/08/2023 20:38

This thread will inevitably descend into women tearing down other women for not just 'getting on with things' like they did in 1972 or trying to make women feel silly for things that might make a difficult and painful time a bit nicer for them.

It wasn't for me, I understand how it can help others. It's not silly or something to be laughed at or anything like that. On one hand we complain about the poor standard of maternity care and women being let down by the system and their well-being not taken seriously while with the other hand we scoff at women trying to make their experience better and suggest they should just 'get on with things'. We all have to get on with things in the end, that's how babies are born.

Couldn't agree more.

If a couple of tea lights and a string of fairy lights make the experience of pushing out a human baby a little bit nicer, then have at it.

I was not organised enough for any of that stuff and gave birth on the labour ward, not an MLU where the rooms tend to be a bit 'nicer'. But even in the labour ward, the midwife dimmed the lights and turned on some projector thing that got twinkly lights on the ceiling, and put some relaxing music on. I didn't ask her to, and I can't say that it helped me. BUT it certainly didn't hurt, and I assume they must have experience with women finding it helpful in order for them to install such things on the labour ward 🤷‍♀️

It must be such a miserable mindset to reflexively scoff at perfectly innocent and harmless things others do.

MimiSunshine · 20/08/2023 21:55

It’s not a new tik tok thing. But it is more of a hypnobirthing thing.

it was suggested that battery powered candles might help to create a relaxing birth environment when I was pregnant.

i didn’t bother but I did ask the midwives not to talk to me. They kept the lights dim and only whispered when absolutely necessary.
it was a lovely experience and they said afterwards how peaceful it all felt,

as long you’re not harming, annoying or getting in anyone’s way. Then do whatever you need to in labour.

BubziOwl · 20/08/2023 21:55

Spudlet · 20/08/2023 20:52

Laughing slightly at the idea of ‘staying in for a week’ post-birth. I was thrown out at 1am after giving birth at 2.30pm that afternoon. No help whatsoever, just here’s the baby, now off you go. My mum got to stay and rest for several days after giving birth - sounds wonderful, tbh.

Yep! Talk about out of touch. I've always been very jealous when older relatives told me about their extended stays as they said they found it so helpful and supportive.

These days we're sent straight home to... just get on with it Wink

continentallentil · 20/08/2023 21:57

MrsMarzetti · 20/08/2023 20:00

Oil diffusers, tea lights and fairy lights! I had a jug of water on the bedside table. But to be fair we didn't have birthing experiences, we just went in had a baby, stayed for a week then went home and in the majority of cases just got on with it. But whatever floats your boat.

Well you mostly get kicked out in a day now, so I guess the fairly lights have to do in lieu of a week in bed

frippu · 20/08/2023 22:01

I don't think there is anything wrong with it as such but a lot of woman are not prepared for the reality of childbirth & the chaos of a maternity ward so it may be a bit of a shock.

Gnomegnomegnome · 20/08/2023 22:06

I think that it sounds lovely

BranstonPickleandPeanutButter · 20/08/2023 22:15

To be fair I packed a packet of pate for after my delivery with my second, which they kindly stuck in the fridge and gave me the next day, it was greatly appreciated after the shitshow of a delivery, so I can see how fairy lights might do it for some people 🤷🏻‍♀️

Arabels · 20/08/2023 22:20

Nnnnnope. I did have a massage oil spray my friend lent me with clary sage in it. I started using it whenever I was few happy, to settle myself, a few weeks before my due date. Sailed past that by 2 weeks. I used it during my fairly medicalised labour and it was lovely to have.

RavingStone · 20/08/2023 22:20

Absolutely do what you feel you need to do!

That said, I did hypnobirthing for my first and one of the great things about it, for me, was that I was utterly out of it in some weird zone that filtered out most of my surroundings. Pretty sure my playlist got forgotten about too.

Arabels · 20/08/2023 22:22

Imagine just staying in bed for a week while someone looks after you. Probably had an amazing nurse to patient ratio, too.

applesandmares · 20/08/2023 22:31

I was told I could go home a few hours after birth but as it was my first I decided to stay overnight for breastfeeding support from the midwives. I couldn't wait to leave and get home the next day! I just wanted to be at home with my baby and partner (who couldn't stay on the ward). I would've hated having to stay for a week!

aswellascanbeexpected · 20/08/2023 22:37

@Arabels My older dc are in their early 30s and with my 1st I stayed in for 5 days, normal vaginal delivery, and 2 nights with my 2nd. The ward was Florence nightingale style with about 8 beds either side of the ward, and our babies beside us in their little plastic cribs.
The downside was when your baby was settled and sleeping the baby next to you would be awake and crying, so not much chance to sleep.
But there was an option to use the night nursery and I have lovely memories of wheeling my baby down there and sitting in a comfy chair, in a dimly lit room, breast feeding my child, with the radio burbling away gently in the background.
They also used to bring a tea and toast trolley round at about 11, and I’m sure the same in the afternoon.
The shower and bath facilities were rank, virtually Victorian, and the wing was in fact pulled down not long after my 2nd dc was born and they built a new unit with lots of single rooms that doubled up as the delivery suite,ready for my next 2 babies.
By then, it was baby born, check up a few hours after and home the same day.
No tea and toast trolley when I got home 😂

Original poster
crumblylancs · 20/08/2023 22:53

BakewellGin1 · 20/08/2023 21:19

Fairy lights were the last thing on my mind especially by DC2 when I knew what giving birth entailed...
Feeling like I was pushing a water melon out of my arse, DC being back to back and then literally being dragged out on third attempt would not have been made more pleasent with fairy lights 😂

This is where I think I was struggling to get on board, this is my second and the videos I've been seeing are all from first time mums who haven't been through giving birth yet- in my mind im just thinking about how fairy lights would not have stopped me ripping in half, my baby going to intensive care and me losing a shit ton of blood BUT I see from this thread that it doesn't really matter and if it makes labour a bit more bearable for some then absolutely crack on!

OP posts:
igor · 20/08/2023 23:46

If packing fairy lights in your hospital bag makes you feel happy then go for it. You might not need/want them at the time but I clearly remember the excitement of getting my bag ready, packing all the tiny clothes and nappies and it is a lovely memory of my pregnancies.

Youdontsay87 · 20/08/2023 23:56

Really? Whatever next 🙄
I think it's for their Instagram posts isn't it so it looks all airy fairy. Either that or they're just one of those types who have to do whatever they think it's the next done thing on social media.
When I was in labour I wanted normality, lights and tv on, lots of chatting and distractions. The midwife tried to dim the lights and I urged her not to, as it made me focus on the pain more being In a dull quiet room. Couldn't even stand the birthing pool.

Bonfire23 · 21/08/2023 00:05

Youdontsay87 · 20/08/2023 23:56

Really? Whatever next 🙄
I think it's for their Instagram posts isn't it so it looks all airy fairy. Either that or they're just one of those types who have to do whatever they think it's the next done thing on social media.
When I was in labour I wanted normality, lights and tv on, lots of chatting and distractions. The midwife tried to dim the lights and I urged her not to, as it made me focus on the pain more being In a dull quiet room. Couldn't even stand the birthing pool.

But then everyone is different, like when it comes to sleeping or anything

When I'm in pain I can't stand noise and lights, I want a dark room and no TV

CornishTiger · 21/08/2023 00:10

I birthed one of mine at home in a pool with Christmas tree lights on. They were a good focus tbh. However I did tell midwife to shut that bloody woman up please - the hypo birthing cd- as I transitioned!

Beseen22 · 21/08/2023 00:10

@VikingVolva totally agree. My favourite juice was lucozade isotonic orange sports drink so I took in 2 bottles and during labour became very thirsty with the gas and air so drink one bottle very quickly. I promptly projectile vomited the entire bottle and six years later have never been able to touch the stuff since.

I think you can take what you want but have a think about the kind of space available and prioritise what is most important. Most of us giving birth in NHS will be in fairly cramped accommodation and at the end of the day getting baby out safely is the biggest priority so if they have to slam on the world's brightest examination light to slam in a cannula if I'm bleeding too heavy then that is priority. If there's fairy lights set up keep them out the way of equipment and emergency buzzers. But if it helps someone remain calmer then you do you.