Coping in early pregnancy after a previous miscarriage

[Highlandttc]

Hey…

so I found out we were pregnant a few days ago after a 5day transfer and really wish I could be excited but I just feel like a bag of nerves. I actually tested a week earlier than I was supposed to as I just felt different and was happy to see a positive but it soon turned into dread. How am i going to cope over the next few weeks waiting for an early scan?! 😩
I’m also over analysing my tests - I’ll attach the ones I’ve done, they were getting darker but noticed there wasn’t much of a change between day 7(pm) and day 9(am) and it’s put my mind into a tizz! Reassurance needed!
**also my 7(pm) was tinged yellow due to the vitamins in my urine 🙈

Congratulations on your new pregnancy. Unfortunately, there's not a lot I can say that will reassure you. I've experienced pregnancy after loss (sadly no living kids yet, just 2 losses) and I was so anxious. Just have to try and take one day at a time and keep yourself as healthy as possible. And accept that it's outside your control. Fingers crossed it sticks for you x

Hi @Highlandttc congratulations hun! Xx
Honestly it's totally normal to feel nervous. Every test, appt, scan i'm just praying everything is ok. Please relax which i know is so hard, but please try, also distract yourself as much as possible and step away from the testing hun. Enjoy your pregnancy xx ❤

It’s so hard isn’t it!! I still have at least 2 weeks until my first scan too 😩
my clinic is almost 4 hours away - the joys of living in the highlands so I can’t even pop in for bloods and don’t even know if my GP would do them for me! Xx

@Highlandttc it is so hard. Sit tight, stay busy and distract yourself with as much as you can! It's harder because you know you can't really control what's going to happen. Hope the time passes quickly for you.

It is hard, definitely harder after loss.

All you can do is focus on the things you can control (includint regular active relaxation eg breathing, exercise, meditation), release the things you can't, and then distract yourself.

My trust don't do bloods and I'm sort if of the view that unless there are symotoms of something untoward then we don't need them, they're not going to guarantee a healthy pregnancy to term.

I'm going through the same thing at the moment. We're 8dp5dt and have had positives since day 5. After two MMCs last year I'm a mess and just spend all day Googling test progression.

I hope you have a good scan in a few weeks time!

aww congratulations!!! Here’s hoping we’re both currently growing our little rainbow babies 🤍🤞🏼 xx

It is hard and full of anxiety. I found throwing myself into work/hobbies to distract myself and kinda just not thinking about it if I could worked until I got a private scan at 9 weeks. Did convince myself for a bit it would be ectopic or not have a heartbeat but was proven wrong both times. Waiting for my 12 week now and hoping all is well but realistically know I can't do anything if not.

@Highlandttc Hello, I am in exactly the same position: 5+1 with an IVF transfer after I miscarried the last at 9.5 weeks.

It's really really hard. But I do have some advice: step away from the tests. Someone on another thread said their clinic advised to test once a week after your positive test until your 7 week scan - so 3 times in total. That's what I'm doing. That way you'll clearly see if there's something to worry about, but you won't obsess over daily line progression.

Other than that, all you can do is accept that what will be will be and try and distract yourself as much as possible. Do nice things and eat well and just enjoy the fact that you're pregnant!

Sending lots of love and positivity your way. You're not alone!

Thank you everyone! I stepped back from testing daily - might just do a couple a week now until my scan! Good luck @countrypunk 🤞🏼sending you lots of love during this time too! X

@Highlandttc Hope you're doing ok! Unfortunately it looks like I'm having a chemical as my ClearBlue test wasn't any darker today at 9dpt than at 7dpt. I hope yours carries on and you get your precious little one at the end 😊

Hi OP, jumping on this thread for a handhold and to keep you company (if you want it!) - have been considering starting a similar thread myself. I’m 5 weeks today and horrendously anxious. I already have kids but have also had 4 miscarriages, 3 of which were missed miscarriages so no signs til they were picked up at scan. I’m so overwhelmingly anxious and spending most of my time trying desperately not to think about being pregnant so I can keep functioning. This is mine and DP’s first baby together after my last pregnancy ended in MMC last April so it’s been a long road just to get to this point and so far I’m not enjoying it at all, just overthinking and stressing about absolutely everything. I’m here to listen to all your stresses and worries if you want to share - I don’t know about you but weirdly it makes me feel better to know I’m not alone! I feel like everyone around me gets pregnant and assumes they’ll have a baby at the end and I just can’t do that. Will be having an early scan in 2 weeks (should be 6+6) so currently I’m just trying to get through the days til then! It’s the not knowing that’s the hardest thing I think.

Forgot to say - keeping my fingers crossed for everyone that it works out for all of us and we get our babies at the end of it - including you @TheBirdintheCave - I’m keeping everything crossed your little one hangs on after all 🤞🤞

@OhmygoshREALLY Thank you that's very kind but I think it's a bit of a lost cause unfortunately.

Oh @TheBirdintheCave I really hope your wee rainbow holds on tight! I’ve read that there can be so many reason for a lighter test so don’t lose hope yet 🤞🏼

@OhmygoshREALLY it’s the worst feeling isn’t it! Also the loneliness of it all as we’re too scared to tell family until we know if it’s all ok so I feel like I have no one to talk to with all my anxieties! I’ve watched so many of my friends fall pregnant and tell people way before they’ve even had a scan, and part of me is envious of their excitement because I wish I could have that right now! I get little waves of “it’s going to be ok, this is our rainbow” and in that moment I’m so calm but then I’ll get like a little twinge and I’m like “that’s it, it’s over” 🙈🙈 I’m also on all the IVF meds which makes me an even bigger emotional wreck lol! I should get a scan in a few weeks but that will feel like an eternity waiting for that!! Xx

Hi ladies.

I feel exactly the same as you all.

This is my 4th pregnancy but I only have one living child.

We know that my husband has a fertility issue and TTC first time took well over a year. This time it was almost a year but not quite.

I had a scan around the 8 week mark and there was a heartbeat and all looked okay. But I’m now around 10 weeks and my dating scan is two weeks tomorrow. The anxiety is increasing and increasing now. I’m trying to avoid getting another scan in the meantime as I know nothing can change the outcome.

It’s so so so hard, especially after loss(ses).

sending you all love xxx

Lines are getting stronger 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 just hope the next couple weeks pass quickly and we can get our scan for some sort of reassurance!

Woke up feeling so nauseous but thankfully settled after some fruit and yoghurt! Also boobs are agony, sense of smell is insane and sudden exhaustion can happen at any moment lol! Still have occasional cramps - probably the worst symptom ever because you just don’t know if it’s good or bad 😩😩

@Highlandttc your symptoms sound really positive and it's good that you’ve managed to step away from the daily testing, but I get that some people do that for comfort. I have friends that have never miscarried that took so many tests in their first trimester.

There’s always charities like Tommys and the Miscarriage association if you have a day where you’re feeling particularly worried/need a professional view. Tommys are all trained midwives and I’ve phoned them twice before (I’ve had 4 miscarriages in total), I can’t rate them enough both ladies I spoke to were amazing.

crossing my fingers for you x

Checking in! How are you doing today @Highlandttc?? 5+2 here, the days are seriously dragging although I worked yesterday and back today which makes the time go quicker as I work long shifts. And off on holiday with DP and kids tomorrow so hoping there’ll be lots of distraction to pass the time! Totally get how you feel Highland re the loneliness and anxiety, and the waves of ‘it’ll be fine’ vs ‘it won’t be fine’ - it’s exhausting isn’t it!
I didn’t really have any symptoms for a while which didn’t help but they seem to be picking up a bit now, boobs are getting bigger and sore, I’m absolutely shattered and the nausea is starting to creep in, mostly at the end of the day when I’m tired, so hopefully all positive signs! We’re supposed to be going to our friends’ for a house party on the 5th so am hoping to get an early scan that morning and then (assuming the scan goes well) I’m going to have to tell them as it’ll be very obvious I’m not drinking 🙈

Feeling ok, I’m only 4+3 so it feels like I still have an eternity to wait!! Feel quite nauseous throughout the day, just randomly! Found it quite bad lying in bed last night, almost like motion sickness lol but don’t feel like I’ll actually be sick! Boobs are so tender and I’m exhausted but I’m on progesterone injections and pessaries which add to the hormone levels 🙈 still get cramping which terrifies me but got to remember that is a common symptom! We’ll find out on Thursday when we’ll get our early scan and I just want it so badly but will likely have 2 more weeks at least 🙄🙈 hopefully it passes quickly! X

I’ve had loads of cramping too and it’s still ongoing - it’s definitely a worry but it’s also definitely normal! Think it’s also worse as I’m sooooo bloated and my digestion seems to be running very slowly which is adding to the general lower belly discomfort I think! You sound like you’ve got loads of symptoms, that’s really positive!

I had 3 losses before having a successful pregnancy and I felt anxious until the day she arrived. I don't think you can ever get rid of that anxious feeling but you can definitely find ways to handle it. I found that giving myself milestones to get to helped me focus on the near future rather than the end result. For example, when I found out I was pregnant my aim was to make it to 6 weeks, then 8, then 12, 16, 20 etc... it helped to break it down rather than focus on the birth. Just take deep breaths and try and focus on something else like a hobby you might have. I won't tell you to stop testing because tbf I've always tested regularly throughout all 4 pregnancies lol. But I did stop after I got a dye stealer. Wishing you lots of luck x

I also suffered awful cramping with my successful pregnancy so try not to worry about that. I think it eases around 8 weeks

@chasingtherainbow1 thats so reassuring to hear! I am definitely trying to keep myself distracted and calm, I got that book “pregnancy after loss” and it’s got little suggestions to keep you calm so going to get stuck into reading it tonight!

@OhmygoshREALLY thank god I’m not the only one!! It’s the worst symptoms as you just associate it with negative thoughts but I keep reminding myself that it could just be my body growing and letting it all burrow in! Hopefully the next couple weeks pass quickly 🤞🏼