Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Bit of a personal question about body after pregnancy!

79 replies

emloux · 14/07/2023 14:26

Hello!

Sorry this question is a bit TMI but I'm pregnant with my second child, I have 6 weeks to go! So excited. My first child is 8 so I left quite a big gap.

However a weird worry I am having lately is I was quite a bit younger when I had my 1st, I'm now 33, I'm worrying about down there going back to normal.

From anyone that's had more than one child, did your private parts go back to normal after 6 weeks? Or is it different now?

Such a weird worry 😂 after my first - everything went back to normal - but worried second time around and being that bit older!

Thanks 😆

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Original poster
emloux · 15/07/2023 11:50

@Notellinganyone defo want to try and do this! ☺️

OP posts:
BrightLightsCalling · 15/07/2023 11:51

It’s like something from The Inbetweeners. He’s amazing. 🧐 What a shame you don’t see the issue and have now inflicted this ‘amazing’ misogynistic comedian on your child.

Original poster
emloux · 15/07/2023 11:51

@Mischance hahaha 😂 this made me laugh! I will tell them to add extra stitches if this happens 😅 xx

OP posts:
Windercar · 15/07/2023 11:51

However a weird worry I am having lately is..

Such a weird worry 😂

I'm worrying about down there going back to normal.

now I’m panicking a bit

yep. You don’t sound worried at all…..

Original poster
emloux · 15/07/2023 11:52

@BrightLightsCalling im lucky I have some sense of humour, he will be amazing thank you for your concern. It's a joke at end of day! I know him and I know he was joking, if he was awful and meant all of this and was serious then yes I'd have a problem but everything is good.

OP posts:
Emmamoo89 · 15/07/2023 11:53

notacooldad · 15/07/2023 11:44

The aholes always come out
🤣
Do you mean the ones that wouldn't put up with an insensitive partner who jokes at your expense about things you are anxious about. Yeah, us aholes are here!

Back to your question, things went back to normal for me with both babies I did a combination of resting well , pelvic floor exercises and light exercise.

My partner joked and It didn't bother me because I know he didn't mean it. 🙄 doesn't make them insensitive or a mignogist

Emmamoo89 · 15/07/2023 11:53

emloux · 15/07/2023 11:41

@Emmamoo89 I know I should have known as I've commented on here before and got the same sort of comments - that aren't even about my question!
He jokes a lot and that's just him! I know he loves me! Its really not that deep!

Ah congrats! So exciting isn't it, yes I need to do the pelvic floors! Good luck with your baby 🥰

Hope everything goes well with your baba 🥰 x

Original poster
emloux · 15/07/2023 11:55

@Windercar my god you don't have anything better to do? I think some people have a full time job being a keyboard warrior!
Be kind!!

Can you not see my laughing faces 😂

It's a weird worry, yes I do wonder if it will go back to normal but even if he didn't joke to me and say that I probably would of joked and said it!

If I was upset and worried, I'd be speaking to him about my concerns - but this was a anonymous place I could ask if it goes back to normal!

Please lighten up, and stop being so serious.

OP posts:
Windercar · 15/07/2023 11:57

Ok, if serious is not putting up with misogynistic partners I’ll take it.

Good luck with the baby and birth x

Original poster
emloux · 15/07/2023 11:57

@Windercar Ok thank you. x

OP posts:
Superfood · 15/07/2023 12:00

Windercar · 15/07/2023 11:51

However a weird worry I am having lately is..

Such a weird worry 😂

I'm worrying about down there going back to normal.

now I’m panicking a bit

yep. You don’t sound worried at all…..

Yep, I was going to quote the same bits. You are in your own words worried, anxious and panicking. I'm not surprised, he's denigrating your body and making you feel anxious that you will be used up, floppy, worn out, etc. It's horrible.

My husband and I take the piss out of each other all the time, but he's never made any comment along those lines at all ever, especially not when I've been pregnant.

It's not ok.

BrightLightsCalling · 15/07/2023 12:01

but everything is good.

Of course it is. He’s amazing.

neleh87 · 15/07/2023 12:01

I think people are just trying to defend you because you came on here with a concern that seemed to stem from a joke your partner made. Lots of us know people who hide meanness behind 'banter'. I'd personally be very upset if my partner made a comment like that, but it would be completely out of character for him. You chose him so I guess your sense of humour matches his 😊

I also don't think it's a weird worry, I think it's fair enough! I've only got one DC, aged 3 months and I had him at 35. Can confirm everything feels pretty normal,but everyone is different. As others have said, definitely important to do the pelvic floor exercises. The NHS squeezy app is good.

Moredramathanrazzamatazz · 15/07/2023 12:04

I don't doubt that the OP's partner is a funny man and they have a good relationship. In my close family we are very dark about illness and death and others outside the bubble would probably raise several eyebrows.

But I do think that if we didn't live in a really misogynistic society, those comments would just never be said, whether as a joke or otherwise, because it just wouldn't be thought. Fortunately no partner has ever said this to me (almost all of them were postbaby as I had a baby young) nor given any hint of thinking it. They'd've been kicked out of bed if they had've. Great sex isn't dependent on tightness anyway.

Be that as it may, OP, the best way of getting things back to normal, once you feel ready, is actually lots of really satisfying (for you) sex. It's very good for your pelvic floor 😀

BrightLightsCalling · 15/07/2023 12:05

You have 3 threads on the same subject, but of course his comments haven’t bothered you at all. He is definitely a lovely, amazing man. 🙄🚩🚩🚩

Original poster
emloux · 15/07/2023 12:05

@Moredramathanrazzamatazz thank you il do the pelvic floors!

OP posts:
Original poster
emloux · 15/07/2023 12:06

@BrightLightsCalling Call it a day?

I'm coming off here now anyway, I know my relationship- you don't.

I'm not spending my beautiful Saturday afternoon arguing with people who don't even know me or my life. It was a question!

Please enjoy your day- if that's possible?😕

OP posts:
Sarah493403940 · 15/07/2023 12:12

My partner has this sense of humour. I’m not a big fan myself and it does sometimes make me worry but the important thing is that you are so doesn’t matter what we think!

as others have said I think it totally depends on your delivery…I had two vaginal births without intervention. My husband has actually commented that things feel tighter but I think it’s possibly due to scarring inside or changes in the shape if that’s possible?! I feel like things have to go round more of a ‘corner’ if that makes sense?! So it can potentially have benefits

Borracha · 15/07/2023 12:13

The thing is, even if is ‘just joking’, it’s still perpetuating misogyny.

It’s no different to someone making a racist comment and then saying ‘but obviously I’m just joking, it’s just my sense of humor!’

I bet he makes similar jokes about ‘wife work’ and ‘steak and blow job day.’

Please don’t let it go unchallenged. These attitudes harm us all.

ReadtheReviews · 15/07/2023 12:19

The comments about the partner are from people who wouldn't put up with unpleasant comments being passed off as 'banter'. Some women do choose that kind of a relationship and give it back in the same way. It must take a bit of a toll though when interactions regularly consist of insults, even delivered jokingly.

IfItAintBrokeBreakIt · 15/07/2023 12:23

You’ve chosen a misogynist as a partner and father to your child and don’t like that being pointed out to you. It’s a shame for your kids who get no say.

dikwad · 15/07/2023 12:27

My husband is the type to joke like that and honestly it doesn't bother me one bit, but next time when he mentions the sausage joke just say 'I'm assuming you mean a cocktail sausage based on your penis'....

Emmamoo89 · 15/07/2023 12:27

ReadtheReviews · 15/07/2023 12:19

The comments about the partner are from people who wouldn't put up with unpleasant comments being passed off as 'banter'. Some women do choose that kind of a relationship and give it back in the same way. It must take a bit of a toll though when interactions regularly consist of insults, even delivered jokingly.

Me and my partner do have a joke now and again. Relationship views are so different on here than real life. I even jokingly insult with my besties. We just have a laugh. We know we aren't being serious. Isn't taking a toll. Its out of love for each other.

notacooldad · 15/07/2023 12:32

My partner joked and It didn't bother me because I know he didn't mean it. 🙄 doesn't make them insensitive or a mignogist
It doesn't make me an'ahole' for being concerned that someone's partner was joking about it when she is worrying about everything going back to normal.
Jokes are fine as long as you are both on board but if one of you is feeling a bit sensitive or anxious joking isn't always the best way forward.
Amy op says she is OK.

bobby81 · 15/07/2023 12:42

I had 2 babies delivered naturally (was in my mid/late 20s). Everything was fine, hasn't affected sex life at all. As others have said you should give yourself plenty of time to recover & keep up with the pelvic floor exercises (I need to take my own advice there!) Good luck x