Bit of a personal question about body after pregnancy!

[emloux]

Hello!

Sorry this question is a bit TMI but I'm pregnant with my second child, I have 6 weeks to go! So excited. My first child is 8 so I left quite a big gap.

However a weird worry I am having lately is I was quite a bit younger when I had my 1st, I'm now 33, I'm worrying about down there going back to normal.

From anyone that's had more than one child, did your private parts go back to normal after 6 weeks? Or is it different now?

Such a weird worry 😂 after my first - everything went back to normal - but worried second time around and being that bit older!

Thanks 😆

Hi op

I haven't read the whole thread just responding to your first post. Obviously things depend on your birth.

I have had 3 normal vaginal births. I had a 2nd degree tear with first baby and no stitches at all with baby 2 & 3. My first baby basically changed things down there and although things are different because I pushed a baby out it hasn't affected anything sex wise. Baby 2 & 3 did not cause any further damage or cause any changes after it just remained the same as after baby 1.

I do my pelvic floor exercises regularly and feel fine.

Hi op.
Congratulations on pregnancy and I hope all goes well.
My 1st child is 14
My 2nd is 8
My 3rd is 19 months
And I currently pregnant with my 4th.

My first 2 children I never had problems with.
Mt 3rd on the other hand was a very big boy. I ended up having shoulder dystopia. My healing process took a while and I had to have stitches as well had physio. Now I'm pregnant with my 4th I find my pelvic floor muscles are slightly weak.

But other then that I feel absolutely fine.
I would say don't worry too much about anything. As long as as your feeling good and continue with pelvic floor clenching then you will be good

Makes the channel tunnel look a smarties tube 🤣🤣

Ignore the nasty comments. They need to lighting up! X

@Philosopherstone @jadey1991 amazing thank you girls, you've put my mind at ease!
Everything was fine after my first baby, fingers crossed this one will be too! I will do the pelvic floors!
Eeek getting exciting now 🤍xx

My partner keeps joking about how it will be like throwing a sausage down an alley
I know others have commented and you say it's a joke and he is lively yada yada .....
But you are worried and anxious.
Tell him to stfu!! There's loads of things to joke about without being personal and adding to your insecurities.
Dh has joked and laughed with me for the last 33 years and I've had kids. Not once did he make a personal sex joke when I was already worried.
People get too riled up over smallest things
It's not a small thing if the op is already anxious and he is coming out with juvenile crap like he is 15 years old or something. He needs to grow up.

@Emmamoo89 Omg I know 🤣 seriously I'm lucky I have a sense of humour! These people are just so serious. I do think it's very nasty of people to judge on how he will be a good dad, he will be amazing! It was a joke and we laughed! But only got me asking we was curious and hoping it does go back to normal! That's all! Xx

@notacooldad Ahh I know what you mean, but honestly he was just joking and it's not a thing he keeps saying or anything, but only got me thinking does it go back to normal that's all.
He does joke alot, but that's just him!

Its never good to post on here. The aholes always come out 🤣

Seriously ignore them though. You're allowed to joke and can still be an amazing parent. I'm pregnant with my second and hoping it goes back to normal like my first! Just need to keep doing my pelvic floor. Xx

But the ‘joke’ has got you coming on here worried about it, so it’s not really a joke is it

@Emmamoo89 I know I should have known as I've commented on here before and got the same sort of comments - that aren't even about my question!
He jokes a lot and that's just him! I know he loves me! Its really not that deep!

Ah congrats! So exciting isn't it, yes I need to do the pelvic floors! Good luck with your baby 🥰

@amidsummernightsdream I wouldn't say I am worried no, it was a question of does it go back to normal? I would say more curious and hoping it does. I'm not worried or anxious, I am fine 🙂x

I hate this joke, I’m pretty sure our husbands wouldn’t appreciate us joking they have a small man hood. My DH once said something along the same lines and I stopped him in his tracks and said it was appropriate. We can’t control what happens.

I had my first at 29 and my third at 34, and all is fine “down there”.
I do pelvic floor exercises.

The aholes always come out
🤣
Do you mean the ones that wouldn't put up with an insensitive partner who jokes at your expense about things you are anxious about. Yeah, us aholes are here!

Back to your question, things went back to normal for me with both babies I did a combination of resting well , pelvic floor exercises and light exercise.

@Tinkietot No I know. But he was just joking and I know he doesn't really care and all he cares about is me being ok and the baby, it was a silly joke. That's all. But only got me wondering does it go back to normal that's all. I think if it upset me I'd tell him and he would of felt awful but he just makes silly jokes a lot and that's just him! He didn't mean it seriously x

@GrinAndVomit amazing good to know! Will make sure I do these too! Xx

Also, how many women have had babies and then years later had sex with men who didn’t know about those babies?
If it was a real thing that women’s vaginas are obliterated by giving birth, this could never happen.

Im glad to hear that. Only you know the truth and what’s right for you, I just know that I wouldnt want a partner who made jokes like that and I dont think you should have to tolerate it as it’s ‘just a joke’
You’ve got enough to think about being pregnant

@notacooldad Honestly I am ok, im not feeling worried or anxious about it, it only had me wondering! That's all ☺️

And thank you, I will make sure I do the pelvic floors! I did these with my first and everything was ok x

I would explain to him before the next time so he doesn't take it badly in the moment. 6 weeks isn't very long I can't remember how long exactly but I didn't have sex for months after... I was so scared and when we did it felt hollow! I remember not been able to even sit down comfortably after a few weeks still honestly hats off to those who have sex straight after birth I don't know how you all do it!

But here you are on mumsnet asking strangers about it because you’re worried. Doesn’t sound so much of a joke now does it?

It’s a horribly misogynistic and cruel thing to say. He’s not joking

@amidsummernightsdream yeah absolutely if it was bothering me I would say look you can't say this etc as it's bothering me and he would feel awful! But it hasn't bothered me, I will just make sure I do the pelvic floors ☺️xx

Waterbirth is your friend. I had stitches after DC1 but none after 2 & 3 because I stayed in pool and had zero interventions.

throwing a sausage down an alley - love it!

I had 3 children and went back to normal. Mind you, when I had my first (forceps) my OH (a doctor) was doing obstetrics at the time and was down the business end chatting with the guy sewing me up - talk about designer vagina!

@Windercar no i haven't come on here saying I feel anxious or worried, I only came on to ask does it go back to normal- that's all. If I was worrying or upset I'd speak to him about it! But I was just curious to knowing if it does or not. That's all