November 2023 babies - thread 4

[AngeloMysterioso]

Here you go!

Hi all! I havent posted in the group for ageeeees but had my 20wk scan on Monday and all was well :) we didn't find out the gender...very nearly caved!
I am another one with an anterior placenta! Seems most of this group has one 😅

Others with one, when did you start feeling movements (if you have?) - I keep thinking today that I might be feeling little flutters but I'm not 100% sure!

Also, have had constant heartburn for about 6 weeks now - I'm definitely going to be buying some chocolate milk as I saw suggested in this thread! Sounds yummier than Gaviscon!

I need to book in my whooping cough vaccine - just read the few that said they weren't well the day after so I'll be booking that for when I have nothing planned afterwards!!

Hope everyone else is doing well ♡

@TAW2502 Hiya - I have an anterior placenta & felt the first kick during 21 weeks. I didn’t really notice any flutters or anything before then. Just felt an obvious kick one day when I was with the midwife right as she was checking babies heart rate - she had her hand on my tummy & asked if I felt what she did as it was the baby kicking 😂 maybe I was just oblivious to movement before then.

The last week they’ve become much more noticeable & no mistaking them - I'm now 23 weeks.

I had my whooping vaccine after my 20 week scan also, but I didn’t get any side effects!

&@TAW2502 I've just started feeling the baby today.. I'm 20w2d but baby was measuring 4 days ahead at my scan, it's also my 3rd so not sure if that makes a difference but if I didn't recognise the feeling I could easily pass it for something else.
My last baby I had an anterior placenta too & it was about a week after the scan I started feeling her. So hopefully won't be much longer for you (& everyone else waiting).

@GreenAventurine good luck for tomo. The night before is the worst, probably not much we can say that will help bar we all know exactly how you feel. If anything will take your mind off it do that. Also sorry to hear about your DPs dad x

Thank you ❤️ Hope you’re all doing well this evening

@FlyingHighFlyingLow yeah I think you’re right. I text my dad yesterday saying I’m losing sleep over it all and I’m really stressed, he said he understands and now mums not coming at all. They said they’ll both come spring at all. Which was not my intention, I just wanted a couple of extra weeks. So now I just feel awful!! It’s their first and possibly only ever grandchild, and I don’t want to ruin it for them. But it was all too much pressure.

Anybody ever had an “Echogenic Intracardiac Focus (EIF)” come up on the ultrasound? My 20 week scan was done a couple of weeks ago, they don’t tell you anything there but my OB told me he would call me if any issues.

I had my monthly appointment with him today and said the only abnormality on the scan was the EIF. He said he didn’t call to tell me as he wasn’t too concerned. He said it’s a calcium build up in the heart muscle. Can be associated with Down’s syndrome, but he said that as my NIPT came back as less than 1 in 10,000 he’s not concerned at all.

obviously it’s on my mind, but he seems sure it’s nothing to worry about…

no more scans now in Canada til 35 weeks, so I think I’ll pay for a 4d scan at about 28weeks!

good luck @FlyingHighFlyingLow on your scan ☺️

@GreenAventurine so sorry for your loss. Not to sound like a broken record, but fybogel saved me! Can get the dissolvables on prescription or the tablets over the counter. I might give the kiwi I try though!

@Bookworm12345 thank you!

Scan went well! We have a baby boy on the way! 💙

I have one smaller uterine artery which is inconsequential however my placenta is low lying so I need to go back for another scan at 36 weeks to see if it’s moved up.

@Psqueak87 not heard of EIF but your dr sounds reassured so that’s good.

Anyone else getting pelvic pain? My pubic bone is so painful when I walk. I had it a while ago but it passed however now it’s back. I’ve started on the kegels and have bought a support/brace which really seems to help I’m just worried that I’m getting it so early on when baby is still so small. With half a pregnancy to go and a lot more weight to carry, I really don’t want to be getting pelvic girdle pain!

@CliniMama congratulations on your little boy! Hope your placenta moves up no problem for you.
Yes, I've had pgp since around 14-15 weeks and have been referred to a physio for it. I had it in my 2nd pregnancy but not the 3rd or 4th so know how awful it can be 😬 a support band and exercises are great ways to help, I do completely understand though 🤗

@CliniMama great to hear the scan went well, congrats on baby boy! I also have a low lying placenta, did they advise you not to do anything? My midwife told me no sex or rigorous exercise and I’ve been put on iron tablets which apparently is their new policy for low lying placentas. From what I’ve read 9 times out of 10 it moves up so I’m not concerned, but it has put me off going to the gym!

Thanks @Bookworm12345 really excited!
I have a physio appointment on Friday for another issue so will raise it with them. Hopefully they have some knowledge of these things.

@DollyGx they didn’t tell me not to do anything just that if I got any bleeding it would most likely be that rather than anything to do with baby. This was the sonographer, mind you and I’m not due to see the midwife until September now. Mine is currently 0.5cm from the os and it should be 2.0cm. Something like 90% move up so I’m optimistic. My friend’s recently moved up which threw her off as she was sure she’d be having a c-section! If you don’t fancy the gym, maybe you could do something more gentle like swimming?

@CliniMama oooh I wasn’t told how close mines was. Yeah I think it’s really quite rare for it not to move so can’t see if changing anything for us! I’ve taken up yoga but yes might add swimming to that too :)

@DollyGx did they say low lying or did they say covering the opening or Placenta previa?

The no sex or exercise advice seems pretty OTT for all low lying placentas. If the placenta is literally over your cervix then it makes sense but if that was the case I’m pretty sure they’d have told you!

@PinkPlantCase no just low lying! The sonographer didn’t seem too concerned she just told me to contact my midwife when I left the scan and that they’d book me for another scan at 30 weeks. So I sent my MW a text advising I had a low lying placenta and is there anything I need to do and that was when she got back to say to avoid intercourse, still stay active but avoid rigorous exercise and heavy lifting and that she would put me on iron supplements and to contact triage if I had any bleeding. They never told me how close to the cervix it is so unless it’s super close and I just don’t know, or they’re just being over cautious 🤷🏻‍♀️ I was also surprised by the advice!

Hey all, hope everyone is ok, just coming on for a wee rant, not feeling really great atm

So I am 21 weeks pregnant now, physically all great apart from being absolutely tortured with carpal tunnel, wakes me at all hours in agony. I am not feeling baby very much if at all, i second guess myself when i feel something that i am imaging it!! first pregnancy to get this far and an anterior placenta so i know i don't feel things as much as others, trying not to worry too much.

Anyway, im feeling a bit down at the moment, up to this point was riddled with pregnancy anxiety and now that is easing a wee bit im just feeling a bit meh!

We aren't excited about the baby for some reason, our fears have stopped us and we said we would get excited after 20 week scan which went perfect, i think we are just in a bad habit of negativity which has continued, we don't tell anyone i am pregnant, our families know but we don't tell friends, we were out on Saturday with 2 of my husbands friends, they were sharing wedding news, asked us how we were and we just said great, not a word about baby, i kind of looked at my husband and though ok!!

I told a friend of mine a few days later, this person would undoubtedly tell a friend of my husbands so i told my husband he should get in first and say or else his friend may be annoyed, my husband asked me was it too early at 21 weeks to which i said no, he told him so no hassle there, but no excitement or happiness or reluctance i feel.

It makes me second guess this pregnancy all the time, i feel stupid for talking about the baby, i can only talk about the pregnancy as we may not take a baby home or so i feel, every line about the baby is started with "if all goes ok and we do have a baby"

I feel like im getting a bit emotionally and physically distant from my husband as well, or rather i feel he is being a bit physically evasive and its making me worry a bit, i dont think he finds me attractive anymore, and while i know some men are like this with their pregnant wives i really didn't expect it from mine, that said i haven't exactly been looking as put together a normal as we are renovating a house, im working and im lucky to have time to get a shower never mind get dressed nice lol and I know he is busy and has his own stresses so could be that.

I do plan to addressing it with him at some point, i just wanted to get my feelings down here to get it off my chest

if you made it to the end well done lol

@38andtrying I'm not overly excited either. It was around the 6mo mark on my first that it started to feel real and I started looking forward to it.

I find telling people has helped me. They are excited and make a nice level of fuss in work so it's given me a boost. I dreaded the reactions and that I'd lose my identity but the expectation is always worse than the reality and I am still Thack.

It's pretty steady from now on, try not to let the worries get to you. It's your pregnancy: it's not all baby showers, booties and magical moments. It comes together: you do you!

@38andtrying I’m so glad your scan went well, I’m sorry you’re having a tough time feeling excited about it all.

Have you and your DH thought about doing any antenatal or hypnobirthing classes together? Like NCT or there are lots of smaller local ones around. It might help you both get into the swing of things and talk about it a bit more. Meeting other people in person who are at a similar stage might also really help.

Or some counciling together? Sorry I know that sounds a bit drastic but it sounds like there’s a lot of fear felt by both of you about the pregnancy and the baby (completely understandable! I remember you’ve had quite a journey to get here). But this kind of fear is really best dealt with before the birth gets too close, an anxious birth partner isn’t what you need. And new parents can feel anxious enough about all the things we are and aren’t meant to do with a new baby, it might be much easier to try and deal with all the feeling at this stage than later on.

Same goes for if you’re struggling a bit with your relationship with DH, better to try and get back on an even keel before baby.

Or I can butt out and keep my suggestions to myself 😂

@PinkPlantCase all suggestions welcome x

yes i agree, i think we need to do more baby related stuff and get more involved, i think we are still stuck in that early phase of trying to pretend its not real to sheild ourselves and we haven't made the transition well. I think im being a bit sensitive as well, i feel fairly emotional a lot and im maybe not being as open about things as i should be.

I am going to speak to him and thats a great suggestion about doing some classes together, it will make it real and hopefully get us more excited

@38andtrying
I've struggled to feel excited rather than anxious for most of this pregnancy too. We're delighted, but this little girl was a (happy) surprise for us. She's our fifth and we thought we were done! We're both in our early 40s too and I was concerned about extra risks due to that.
I think now we've had our anatomy scan and got to find out the gender (I knew from early on - strong instinct) things feel much more real now and I can get excited 😊

@38andtrying i could have written your post; I have felt almost
disassociated from my pregnancies with all DC; this one included.
I will often say “if all goes to plan and baby is here…” when talking about future plans.
With one of the DC we didn’t tell many people at all and the world was very surprised when we announced their arrival.
We have had a real journey to get to
this stage with each DC and I think it’s a survival or coping method to get through.
I never feel any excitement about buying stuff, wince when people congratulate me, with the don’t tell a soul pregnancy I bought everything we needed about 2 weeks before the c-section date and it was just another preparation chore.

I had CBT a few years ago, between pregnancies, and I asked the therapist about it and she said it was surprisingly common to feel
this way but not talked about. Like the not feeling the immediate love for your baby like everyone else does! (Being really honest, I don’t, my dp does, they grow on me eventually and I realise I do love them a while later!)

Try not to stress yourself about this feeling; it does go away and feelings
do transition.

@38andtrying sorry to hear how you guys are feeling. I understand the feeling as I previously had 2 chemical pregnancy (early losses). However when I reflect back to those times, I regret not even having a short period where I can feel the joy of pregnancy. So this time around, although I am cautious, I'm also trying to be cautiously optimistic and try to appreciate the moment that I have with this child. I don't sing from top of the mountain that I'm pregnant but I won't go out of my way to hide it. It's also important to get support from friends and family if anything does happen.

Are you feeling confident with the medical team you have supporting your journey? That's also important to be surrounded with a team of people you trust to give you the confidence. You have lots to celebrate about passing 20 weeks and soon at 23 weeks the baby have a chance to survive outside the womb. Hope you feel better soon or might be good to have a chat with a counsellor. Good luck!

@38andtrying you are definitely not alone! I hope the responses have given you some reassurance.
I'm struggling with the realness of believing I'm pregnant for different reasons & the fact that I should probably start getting organised. I kept thinking it will kick in after the20 wk scan but no.. now I'm thinking it will when I feel more movement. Family & friends all know but it's just me that feels like this isn't real & the reality of a baby in a few months is crazy.

@38andtrying I'm sorry to hear you are feeling low and anxious. I have been pretty anxiety free but the past week or two I've been struggling a bit. I therefore asked midwife for a referral to the perinatal mental health team, and had a quick chat with a lovely lady there, who has booked me in for a longer chat with a mental health specialist midwife. Would this be an option for you?

I'm also not feeling excited if I'm honest. My sickness is back and my breasts have been paining and there's so much to do before the birth and I have little energy. It feels tiring and exhausting and it's not my first child, I know what's coming post birth too (lol). Yday I did some journalling and wrote down a list of what is going well and what I'm struggling with and came up with a to do list based on that. That seems to have alleviates the anxiety a little but I think it's partly hormonal.

Hi everyone. Had an awful morning with anxiety myself - cried a few times and my head was all over the place in work thinking there would be someone wrong in the scan.
But baby girl is growing beautifully. Feeling very relieved and happy this evening 💕

Another one here struggling mentally. Very excited for baby & feeling pretty positive about it. But feeling really low generally. I left my job in March - was planned and financially we are fine! But I almost feel ashamed that I’m pregnant and not working. I’m judging myself & feel so unworthy. I can’t even imagine keeping my job tbf, so hats off to you all who are managing to juggle pregnancy and worklife. The last few weeks I’ve had such low energy & been struggling to sleep at night, which has left me feeling worse during the day & with no distractions (such as work) the days can be long. I need to remind myself I’m lucky I don’t need to be working etc, but it doesn’t feel that way. I was marathon training when I fell pregnant & have always been active & health conscious, but since I got pregnant I have really struggled to keep up with my fitness, my body just does not let me. I think that’s one of the main triggers for my low mood, along with pregnancy hormones! The days feel so long. But trying to remind myself that one day I’ll long for a day on my own to relax etc! Anyway.. hoping that people can feel some solace in that a lot of us seem to be feeling similar x