Now I'm heavily pregnant I can no longer...

[PurlyQueen]

Now I'm 34 weeks and the size of a house, I can no longer:
-Put my trainers on - they have to be slip-on shoes
-pick up anything off the floor
-Get out of bed/ the bath quickly
-Roll over in bed without looking like a hippo stuck in the mud
-Do the washing-up - bending over at the sink hurts my back
-walk quickly (either upstairs on on the flat) without getting out of breath
-Shave my legs (Forget about the ladygarden)
-file my feet or paint my toenails
-Push a supermarket trolley without my back aching
-get in and out of the car
-sit with my legs shut
-sit up straight - back hurts too much
-eat dinner off a tray in front of the TV. I can't reach the plate
-Get comfortable on any chair for long - I can't bear the idea of sitting in a cinema seat anymore
-go shopping for very long - I have no patience any more
-Last for 30 minutes without needing to pee

Any others?

do anything useful or enjoyable without people saying "oooo - should you be doing that in your condition?"

(they don't seem to say this about the washing/cleaning etc! )

-get up in the morning without having to unblock my nose
-stop wishing my time away
-stop waking up several times a night
-stop patting my bump

walk (SPD)

• oh yes, and blow my nose in the morning without a load of blood streaming out.

yes, what is with the bloody nose?

• see my feet
• stop moaning
• be bothered with even thinking about sex
• stop farting
• go anywhere without rennies
• sneeze without crossing my legs

sleep all night

do any of those things or be bothered to do anything else

eat chocolate cos it makes my heartburn even worse

-wanting sex but not being able to get it because belly is so huge!

can i add for the first time in months!!! driving DP mad!!!

Bloody nose - I think it is something to do with swollen blood vessels due to the increase in blood volume. The skin inside the nose is delicate, so if you keep blowing it is more likely to bleed.

Get the zip on my knee highs all the way up coz of my fat fat fat calves

bend down to pick anything up without going 'urghhhhhhhhhhggrrrrrhrmph'.

Go tanning so I'm pasty white and ginger.

Get my hair dyed so I'm pasty white and ginger.

Afford to do anything.

Have a full wee without rocking like a mental case.

Have a ten minute nap without coughing myself half to death.

-Wear shoes b/c of scary swollen feet and cankles
-Walk the dogs b/c they pull me off balance
-Roll over, bend over, get up off floor, out of chairs
-feel my fingers, arms, toes b/c so swollen
-sleep
-Leave the house b/c I can't find any shoes that fit me!!

sneeze without worrying
go on the bottom during sex
i find it hard to orgasm at the moment (????)
get up easily
walk any distance without pain (SPD)
put my shoes on without doing gymnast like twists
do my bikini line myself

Ah, nice to know I'm not alone ...

36 weeks tomorrow, and I'd add

• bear to have anyone else touching my bump (drives me MAD)
• take my socks off without it looking like I've spent the day with elastic bands tied round my ankles
• get up without having to clutch my lower back
• breathe after I've eaten a meal
• stop worrying about money
• stop checking to see if I've got any stretchmarks yet (been lucky so far)!

Agree about the morning bloody nose, too. Bleaurgh. Still managing to shave legs, though, sitting down in the shower.

What everyone else said!