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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Drugs and alcohol before I knew I was pregnant

75 replies

Kakaka1 · 04/05/2023 14:49

Iv just found out I'm 12 weeks pregnant and have been drinking... not vast amounts but 5 to 6 units 5 times a week. I have also been using cocaine during this time. I am so scared and I don't know if my baby is going to be okay. And I don't know what to do. I have not done cocaine or drank since I found out but I am worried of the damage I could have already caused. I'm so scared and don't know what to do.

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 04/05/2023 14:55

Be honest with your midwife and ask for support. Have you had a scan?

Yamaya · 04/05/2023 14:57

In your case I think I would be honest with the midwife. I'm sure you are not the first, although probably not many people admit it. I would need to know the risks to the baby.

HermioneWeasley · 04/05/2023 15:01

5 to 6 units 5 times a week is double the recommended amount for a woman. If you think that’s not a “massive amount” you have a very skewed perception. Coupled with the drug use you definitely need to seek help and guidance via your midwife.

ReallyShouldBeDoingSomethingElse · 04/05/2023 15:14

I would speak to your midwife (or if the midwife is hard to get hold of, your GP) asap. They should organise for you to be consultant-led during your pregnancy and hopefully you'll see a consultant very soon.

Presumably you've had a scan if you know your dates?

Original poster
Kakaka1 · 04/05/2023 15:24

Yes I have had a scan and everything seems fine but I'm just so worried. I want this baby so much but I'm.scared in case what I have done before I knew has affected the pregnancy in any way

OP posts:
Ifnotdufferswontdrown · 04/05/2023 15:33

You might not know for a while if it has had any effect - alcohol is more potentially damaging but effects really vary. Daniel Radcliffe has come out publicly to say he has Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) so you can clearly still have a very successful life even if effected by FASD! Definitely tell your care team though and get proper advice.

WheresTheForum · 04/05/2023 15:45

Ifnotdufferswontdrown · 04/05/2023 15:33

You might not know for a while if it has had any effect - alcohol is more potentially damaging but effects really vary. Daniel Radcliffe has come out publicly to say he has Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) so you can clearly still have a very successful life even if effected by FASD! Definitely tell your care team though and get proper advice.

I really don’t think he has. He’s talked about dyspraxia, not FASD.

Unicorn2023 · 04/05/2023 15:49

@Kakaka1 Try not to worry I know a girl who didn’t know she was pregnant at all and the night she went into labour she was in the pub drinking with us and was really drunk most weekends and her baby is perfectly fine. Obviously it’s not advisable to do it but you have stopped now you know you are pregnant and can’t change what’s happened if your baby is growing and scan looked ok try and see that as a good thing ♥️

Charlielechat · 04/05/2023 16:05

I know a few people who had been drinking heavily before knowing they were pregnant, some taking drugs too, and they all have very healthy babies/children. The important thing is you've stopped, so try not to beat yourself up!

WedTheBed · 04/05/2023 16:08

Probably wise not to dabble in Class A drugs that are ruining lives then tbh.

I’mnot going to sugar coat it and say shit happens you’ll be fine like PP, tell you midwife. Air on the side of caution that at some point there might just be baby or pregnancy related complications as a result. No one know that you’ll be fine. There’s a reason why they say don’t drink.. and absolutely especially don’t take illegal drugs (and that one goes for when you’re not pregnant too)

EarringsandLipstick · 04/05/2023 16:10

Regardless, you need support with ensuring you don't take drugs or alcohol again during pregnancy and can address your dependency issues.

TomatoSandwiches · 04/05/2023 16:12

You won't know really until the baby is born, lots of people will tell you others have done the same and baby was fine.
The truth is that you could also give birth to a really damaged baby with a multitude of health issues.
I would personally have a termination and then get help for the alcohol and drug problem and try to make yourself as healthy as possible.

Itsnottheendoftheworldisit · 04/05/2023 16:18

Had a close friend who didn’t know she was pregnant till 16 weeks. She drank heavily every weekend, smoked 20 fags a day and used cocaine every weekend.

she stopped drinking and taking drugs straight away and cut down on the smoking eventually quitting completely after a few weeks.
her baby is completely fine and now I’m the highest set for everything at school.

theres nothing you can do about it now. Just focus on having a healthy pregnancy now.

Original poster
Kakaka1 · 04/05/2023 16:19

I don't have dependency issues I have completely stopped since I found out it was recreational.

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 04/05/2023 16:21

Lots of posters here will tell you the dangers but I don't know ANYONE who DOESN'T have a story like this. I had a friend who drank like a fish for the 12 weeks she didn't know. I don't know anyone who has damaged their baby. Stats are difficult because women are (understandably) reluctant to be truthful about alcohol and drugs. The biggest risk is miscarriage and you haven't miscarried.

Absolutely you must tell your midwife and this is tough but the right thing to do. You will do it because you are already a good mum - worry comes with the territory.

I honestly believe that your much wanted baby will be perfect and healthy.

38andtrying · 04/05/2023 16:23

@TomatoSandwiches she's had a scan and all is fine so far, loads of people go through months of pregnancy drinking, smoking and taking drugs to no effect, there's no reason for her to end her pregnancy, she has been told all is ok so far, likewise loads of women are healthy, don't drink etc and have babies with problems, I don't think telling a woman with a much wanted pregnancy to have an abortion even though she's has a scan and all is ok so far, incase there's a problem is wise, there could be a problem with anyones pregnancy drink etc or not

@Kakaka1 please try not to worry, ensure you take your vitamins and speak to your midwife I'd you're worried. I bet they will have sound advice for you and tell you not to worry. You can only do your best from now and chances are everything will be ok and please don't be taking judgemental comments from randomers on the Internet too much to heart, it's very hard to be perfect and no one is.

Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy x

lunar1 · 04/05/2023 16:29

Please tell your midwife, it's best that you and your healthcare providers have as much knowledge as possible. There may be extra testing they do during pregnancy.

The truth is developmental issues can occur in people who have done everything right, they really need to know your history to help plan your care and that if your baby.

Irritateandunreasonable · 04/05/2023 16:34

Im confused.

You only just found out at 12 weeks? But you stopped as soon as you found out, so you’ve stopped for what, a day?

Sorry, just trying to make sense of it all. Do you have any other children? How come you found out the pregnancy so late?

If you’re asking if there’s any risk of damage to your unborn child that would depend also on the amount of drugs you’ve taken, the amount affects the likelihood of there being an issue.

Irritateandunreasonable · 04/05/2023 16:38

SummerHouse · 04/05/2023 16:21

Lots of posters here will tell you the dangers but I don't know ANYONE who DOESN'T have a story like this. I had a friend who drank like a fish for the 12 weeks she didn't know. I don't know anyone who has damaged their baby. Stats are difficult because women are (understandably) reluctant to be truthful about alcohol and drugs. The biggest risk is miscarriage and you haven't miscarried.

Absolutely you must tell your midwife and this is tough but the right thing to do. You will do it because you are already a good mum - worry comes with the territory.

I honestly believe that your much wanted baby will be perfect and healthy.

I’m in recovery from addiction, and to be frank some of the women drank and used drugs like that during their pregnancy and their child has been affected. Some very severely, some have been absolutely fine.

TomatoSandwiches · 04/05/2023 16:38

38andtrying · 04/05/2023 16:23

@TomatoSandwiches she's had a scan and all is fine so far, loads of people go through months of pregnancy drinking, smoking and taking drugs to no effect, there's no reason for her to end her pregnancy, she has been told all is ok so far, likewise loads of women are healthy, don't drink etc and have babies with problems, I don't think telling a woman with a much wanted pregnancy to have an abortion even though she's has a scan and all is ok so far, incase there's a problem is wise, there could be a problem with anyones pregnancy drink etc or not

@Kakaka1 please try not to worry, ensure you take your vitamins and speak to your midwife I'd you're worried. I bet they will have sound advice for you and tell you not to worry. You can only do your best from now and chances are everything will be ok and please don't be taking judgemental comments from randomers on the Internet too much to heart, it's very hard to be perfect and no one is.

Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy x

All my scabs were fine as elwell until the 20 week anomaly scan and even after multiple scans after that they still couldn't tell me exactly was wrong until post birth.
Ultrasound scanning misses up to 50% of anomalies, they are not infallible.

I'm not trying to scare op, I'm being brutally honest with the benefit of hindsight.

TomatoSandwiches · 04/05/2023 16:40

Goodness, apologies for the multiple typos.

38andtrying · 04/05/2023 16:54

TomatoSandwiches · 04/05/2023 16:38

All my scabs were fine as elwell until the 20 week anomaly scan and even after multiple scans after that they still couldn't tell me exactly was wrong until post birth.
Ultrasound scanning misses up to 50% of anomalies, they are not infallible.

I'm not trying to scare op, I'm being brutally honest with the benefit of hindsight.

Show quote history

I know you're not but advising someone to have an abortion on the chance something might be wrong is crazy in my opinion and unhelpful, anything can go wrong with anyone's pregnancy, if everyone had abortions because they were afraid there was something wrong the population would plummet, all expectant mothers worry unbelievably no matter the circumstances, its a wanted pregnancy. I bet the midwifes tell her not to worry unnecessarily, as I've had to learn with pregnancy everything is OK until it isn't, deal with issues as they arise. At this moment OPs pregnancy is doing well with no problems

TomatoSandwiches · 04/05/2023 17:37

I think considering an abortion is perfectly reasonable in the circumstances, I wish someone had been honest enough with me to advise this.

38andtrying · 04/05/2023 17:39

@TomatoSandwiches you were in same position? Caused by drink and drugs ?

TomatoSandwiches · 04/05/2023 18:06

38andtrying · 04/05/2023 17:39

@TomatoSandwiches you were in same position? Caused by drink and drugs ?

Undiagnosed type 1 LADA diabetes, caused diabetic embryopathy, severe malformations, under cardiac, nephrology, neurology, spastics, audiology, is ASD, non verbal, cognitively 2yrs of age at 7.

The ultrasound only picked up an VSD and narrow pulmonary arteries, as you can tell from the above specialist consultants he is under there was much more they missed than discovered.