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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Drugs and alcohol before I knew I was pregnant

75 replies

Kakaka1 · 04/05/2023 14:49

Iv just found out I'm 12 weeks pregnant and have been drinking... not vast amounts but 5 to 6 units 5 times a week. I have also been using cocaine during this time. I am so scared and I don't know if my baby is going to be okay. And I don't know what to do. I have not done cocaine or drank since I found out but I am worried of the damage I could have already caused. I'm so scared and don't know what to do.

OP posts:
38andtrying · 04/05/2023 18:10

@TomatoSandwiches sorry to hear that, and this was caused by your drink and drug use ?

38andtrying · 04/05/2023 18:12

@TomatoSandwiches oh I see it was caused by diabetes, undiagnosed, this is risk we all take with pregnancy unfortunately, anything can go wrong.

caringcarer · 04/05/2023 18:25

WheresTheForum · 04/05/2023 15:45

I really don’t think he has. He’s talked about dyspraxia, not FASD.

Show quote history

Many children with FASD have an IQ of around 75. It has a significant impact on their life. I foster a child who has it and who's birth Mother also took drugs and smoked throughout her pregnancy. He has significant learning disabilities. They did not show up on a pregnancy scan. By the time this child was about 2-3 it was obvious there were issues. You have only taken alcohol and drugs for 12 weeks so hopefully your baby won't be affected too much.

goinginsaneinthemembrane · 04/05/2023 18:41

You don't think drinking 5 times a week is vast?

marrymeadam · 04/05/2023 18:52

Before I knew I was pregnant with 2 of my children I was absolutely wasted (I was a lot younger then!) one was a big night out with a friend and my DP had to push me up the hill home, the other a wedding anniversary weekend for a family member that I drank through to cope with. Both DD's are now adults and fine

Restinggoddess · 04/05/2023 19:09

We live in a world where excessive drinking and drug taking by men and women ( it affects sperm as well) has become more acceptable
Unfortunately what we don’t seem to discuss is the rising number of children presenting with FAS - it has an immense and lifelong impact - perhaps then some societal attitudes would change ( for men and women )

It is advisable to discuss with your midwife

EarringsandLipstick · 04/05/2023 19:56

Kakaka1 · 04/05/2023 16:19

I don't have dependency issues I have completely stopped since I found out it was recreational.

That's some 'recreational' use 🥴

EarringsandLipstick · 04/05/2023 19:59

SummerHouse · 04/05/2023 16:21

Lots of posters here will tell you the dangers but I don't know ANYONE who DOESN'T have a story like this. I had a friend who drank like a fish for the 12 weeks she didn't know. I don't know anyone who has damaged their baby. Stats are difficult because women are (understandably) reluctant to be truthful about alcohol and drugs. The biggest risk is miscarriage and you haven't miscarried.

Absolutely you must tell your midwife and this is tough but the right thing to do. You will do it because you are already a good mum - worry comes with the territory.

I honestly believe that your much wanted baby will be perfect and healthy.

Don't be cracked.

MOST women DON'T have a story like this. Thankfully.

OP's life sounds a bit chaotic to be using alcohol & drugs so extensively and only realising her pregnancy at 12 weeks.

She needs to get further help & support now.

pico1 · 04/05/2023 20:09

OP, while it is quite likely that your baby will be fine, alcohol-related issues will not show up on a scan and may not show up until your baby is older (developmental/learning issues etc). The brain is different to other structures in that it keeps developing rather than just growing all the way through pregnancy so can be damaged by alcohol at any stage in pregnancy. I would definitely talk to your midwife or doctor and they will keep an eye on baby’s growth during the pregnancy (babies with FAS can be smaller than normal).

Irritateandunreasonable · 04/05/2023 21:50

EarringsandLipstick · 04/05/2023 19:56

That's some 'recreational' use 🥴

Show quote history

I’m inclined to agree with you.

OPs story doesn’t quite add up. She claims to have only just found out yet has already had a 12 week scan, did they just scan her randomly?

I have a feeling she may have knew or at least strongly suspected she was pregnant but couldn’t stop using and it suggests substance abuse issues.

Of course I don’t know OP and could be well off but somethings not right…

Mrsstart · 04/05/2023 23:06

@EarringsandLipstick isn't this supposed to be a support group? Why are you on this thread if all you are doing is making snide comments.
No one knows the outcome of any pregnancy regardless of what the expecting mother has or hasn't done whilst unknowingly being pregnant.

@Kakaka1 OP it's a hard conversation to have but as many have said be honest with your midwife. At my booking in app my MW asked questions about alcohol/smoking/substances and when I questioned it she told me the pathways will be very different. You are likely (not guaranteed I'm not a MW) to have some more in-depth growth monitoring and if your not on the prediction line they will have a greater understanding why.
I hope everything is okay for you and baby xx

Original poster
Kakaka1 · 05/05/2023 09:25

I had a private scan. I came on here asking for advice... not for people to question my post. I had a scan last Friday which I paid for and have my first hospital scan on the 18th if this month. I don't need to come on here and lie I just wanted advice as I thought this was what this was for

OP posts:
philautia · 05/05/2023 09:42

In your situation, you need to be really honest with your midwife. They have dealt with this before and will be able to help. You shouldn't hide this from your care team.

Realistically, you've only just stopped drinking and using drugs so you don't know how you're going to feel down the line and you may need extra support.

I'm not going to say what I would personally do in this situation but I would struggle to think I'd drank to the level you have and more importantly, taken Class A drugs during the most important developmental stage of pregnancy and continue with the pregnancy due to the worry and guilt I'd feel.

PickledScrump · 05/05/2023 09:54

I would be very honest with your midwife. They won’t judge you, but they need to k ow to give you the correct level of care. I have a family member who’s mum didn’t find out she was pregnant until 6 months, she was heavily smoking and would be drinking heavily every weekend. The baby was absolutely fine. Obviously this doesn’t always happen and there are many things that could happen. But there’s nothing you can do to change it now. Just be honest with the health care professionals, and make sure you are as healthy as you possibly can be going forward.

38andtrying · 05/05/2023 09:58

@Kakaka1 if I were you I would really try and remain positive, you will worry regardless so not going to tell you not to lol

Make sure you're taking all your vitamins like everyone should be and does. You're doing everything right now and that's important, loads of people don't know they're pregnant for a few months and don't live healthy lifestyles. Don't beat yourself up too much, you didn't know you were pregnant.

Hope your scan on 18th goes well. When are you due? I'm due in November, you should join the thread for the month your due and talk to others who have scans coming up etc you're no different to any other pregnant woman in terms of worry, maybe you have a bit more which is even more reason to join the thread and talk to others. You are deserving of respect, as any pregnant woman is x

38andtrying · 05/05/2023 10:00

@Kakaka1 this is the current due in November thread if you're due around them if you'd like to pop in and say hello, talk about general pregnancy things and your concern, might be nice to be around people due the same time who let me tell you are also worried like hell

Loki97 · 05/05/2023 10:17

I wouldn't tell your midwife tbh there is not alot she can do even if there is something wrong. I smoked weed stopped when i found out but it stays in your system for a month. I was hounest with the midwife they drugs tested me. I was embarrassed to then be pressed about it at every apointment even though i hadn't been smoking it. They did not drug test me again untill the day i gave birth and i passed although it was embarrassing still as was asked on a ward full of women. your baby will be fine loads of people party and do drugs like crack and heroin up untill they give birth.

ReallyShouldBeDoingSomethingElse · 05/05/2023 10:31

I wouldn't tell your midwife tbh there is not alot she can do even if there is something wrong.

I don't agree with this. Where there are reasons to think that a pregnancy might have complications for any reason they are likely to add additional scans into the schedule to check for anomalies with the foetus and to keep an eye on the mother's health as well.

Due to a blood clotting issue that might have affected DD's development and meant that I was at higher risk with my own health, I was scanned every 4 weeks.

Yes the issues that a scan can show might not be treatable but it's much better if the midwife, consultant and mother know about them.

38andtrying · 05/05/2023 10:59

I agree @ReallyShouldBeDoingSomethingElse absolutely OP should tell her midwife, for support, guidance and medical help if necessary, rather be hounded with questions and get proper advice and support than not.

WedTheBed · 05/05/2023 11:10

@Loki97 id you were embarrassed about being asked about her drugs you so willingly used.. maybe that’s a sign to just not do them? 🫠

cannaecookrisotto · 05/05/2023 11:37

Kakaka1 · 04/05/2023 15:24

Yes I have had a scan and everything seems fine but I'm just so worried. I want this baby so much but I'm.scared in case what I have done before I knew has affected the pregnancy in any way

Mention it to your midwife, you didn't know you was pregnant and when you found out you stopped. Then the midwife can assess you and give you the best advice.

If it's any consolation, the weekend before I found out I was pregnant, I went on a night out and got absolutely shit faced. Climbed a wall to get into a club that the bouncers wouldn't let me in because I was inebriated. I didn't take coke, but I drank A LOT. It was a one off but I was so worried when I realised I was pregnant.

She's 6 now and completely fine. Chances are you'll be fine too but let the midwife advise you.

Loki97 · 05/05/2023 11:52

I was a teenanger at the time of course its embarrassing to be pregnant and everyone think you are on drugs. But before that i wasnt embarrassed i had no responsibilities so i could do whatever i liked. The OP can do what she wants and i wasnt using class A's or drinking i just know i wished i never said anything to begin with because it didnt help me in anyway being honest.

Loki97 · 05/05/2023 11:57

And there is not one thing they can predict giving this women extra scans. Cocain use can cause cognitive issues and premature labour neither of these things can be detected by scanning her. I would make sure your on the right vitmins OP and make sure you stay away from the drugs and alcohol from now on. If you feel like telling the midwife do so might put your mind at ease a bit x

Clusterfunk · 05/05/2023 12:11

Extra scans can show abnormalities and allow them the give the mother guidance, counselling,support and options. Telling the midwife allows them to put support in place.

OP, please tell your midwife. I work in the NHS and promise your midwife will have heard this all before. They can support and advise far better than an internet forum.

The person telling you that people can take crack right up until they give birth and baby be fine is frankly irresponsible.

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