ERA/Alice/Emma infertility thread graduates/pregnancies

[seven201]

If you are a regular on the infertility board you may have seen the ERA/Alice/Emma threads for those going through those tests after lots of unsuccessful IVF or recurrent losses. This thread is for the ladies from there who are now pregnant. We can share our worries and joys.

I am useless at remembering who is pregnant from which thread so please do add yourself or tag others. @Janefx40 and @Faithhopelove83.

Also, if anyone who has fully graduated/had their baby, then please feel free to join if you wish. I don't want to tag individuals as I don't want people to feel obliged.

If you've also just had lots of failed ivf and/or recurrent miscarriages you are of course welcome too!

A little bit about me. I have a naturally conceived nearly 7 year old dc. Have been trying for dc2 for 5 1/4 years. One natural early loss, 5 failed ivf, 3 surgeries (main one being an adhesion removed), 2 natural pregnancies and early losses, 1 ivf pregnancy that got to heartbeat stage. This pregnancy is a letrazole round and I'm 9+6 (although measuring 9+0 but that's been consistent) so due early November. I've been spotting brown for the past 3 days but my scan was this afternoon, so reassuring (although still worried). I'm under the CRP clinic in epsom due to the miscarriages.

Good luck to us all!

@Gardenlady543 thank you as always for being so helpful! Yes you’re right about my results being nmol/l. I will start taking one a day again for peace of mind as I worry it will continue to drop.

How many days is your NCT course over? I’ve seen options for 3 and 5 in my area but the ones over 5 are in quite late in the evening. Would you recommend it?

@Spin101 I did a 10am to 4pm sat and sun course and we have a breastfeeding workshop 6:30-9:30pm in the week. I go to bed so early so I'll really struggle with that. I have today off work to recover as the whole weekend is gone. They try to get people to book towards the end of the pregnancy and I found I was really uncomfortable though being in the room for that long, although the venue meant they did get us moving a lot and sat on sofas when we could be. It was a good course and a lot of people make good friends from theres, they will arrange a catch up once all the babies have been born. I thought I would learn more about looking after a baby though. It was useful for the partners as they do really put an emphasis of how hard pregnancy and birth is. It's also useful for people who aren't sure what the birth options are to help them feel empowered in deciding.

@thislittlebird congratulations on the scan 

@Gardenlady543 how many weeks are you now? Nct course sounds like you're not far off!

@Spin101 I did NCT with my first but can't remember how many days. I don't think I learned a huge amount, but dh probably did. I'm really close friends still with three couples from the course, so in that respect it was great.

I'm alright. Had a tough time. My blood pressure has been really high so had to go back to hospital and was put on an additional drug but it's still pretty high and the gp surgery are not being helpful in getting an appt, but I think I have one tomorrow now. Baby is still unnamed and dropped 11.5% (12% means hospital admission here) of birth weight at 5 day check so we're on a feeding plan - weight in tomorrow! She's also borderline jaundice for hospital admission. I hated that catheter so much but it's out now - took 2 days to be able to wee normally again, I think mainly as I was still constipated from birth. I've reduced my pain meds right down now, so that's a positive sign. Baby will only sleep on top of a human, so DH and I are very tired and stroppy with each other. The building site house is wearing thin now as there's just nowhere to put anything. But... baby girl is totally amazing and I can't believe she's real! She's just so perfect and brilliant.

@seven201 oh wow you've not had an easy time and the building site on top of it all :( I found it hard to pass urine after the catheter was out after my op and they tried to recatheterise me but nobody could get one back in. It took a lot of bathroom visits staring at the running tap to pass again. How are you getting on with the naming are you close to deciding?

I'm 29.5 weeks now, meeting the surgeon on Thursday.

@Gardenlady543 who knew having a wee could be so stressful! At one point I had to wee sort of standing up leaning to one side . I heard them say during the c-section "I can't tell if that's attached to the bladder" so was worried for a while some damage had been done. I have no regrets on the c-section though - it's a magical experience. Not got any further with names. We've just been too worn out to properly discuss it. Still calling her 'baby' or accidentally her sisters name.

Wow, nearly 30 weeks. You're hitting the home stretch.

How's everyone doing? I have my c section booked in for 8 weeks tomorrow having met the surgeon last week. I have 6 weeks left of work. Bending down to the floor is becoming more difficult.

Hi @Gardenlady543 great news you’re all booked in and met your surgeon - not long to go on the work front! Had my 32 week scan today and baby measured bang in the middle on everything so very pleased, still no further forward on if we’ll have a c section or normal birth as I’m very torn (also quite frustrating I’m not consultant led so don’t feel like I have a true view on what the risks are of me having low Papp a and having a natural birth.)

vaginal birth, not normal birth* sorry typo and didn’t mean to be insensitive

@Gardenlady543 so exciting to have a date!!! I was thinking of you today. Must feel good to be on the home stretch!

@AM08 great that all looks good. Being consultant led isn't as helpful as it sounds. I have often found midwives to be more knowledgeable than consultants anyway and the internet is often a better source of knowledge too (when used wisely of course).

If it's safe to do vaginal or section and there's no particular reason why vaginal won't work then it's really about whether you prefer to take the strain on the day or after. C sections are painless at the time but tough recovery. Vaginal hard at the time but if it goes well then quicker recovery!

@Janefx40 yeah and I'm super uncomfortable, I'm sure you and seven remember this part!

@AM08 the NCT course was good for this stuff as they talk through loads of options for vaginal birth, I'm sure they will have resources on their website. They also talk through a "gentle"/ "natural" c section. If you're on the fence it's worth looking into this if the consultants at your hospital do it. I was already planning on this as the surgeon I'm under specialises in them, they showed us this video of them at the NCT course: youtu.be/wdyzAuc3Ff8?si=QXW0XrUSYHZWX-M2 (I took the out so it hopefully won't embed a video in here.

Lol and then it wasn't going to embed anyway, so never mind this is the link,

@Janefx40 thanks for your advice, it’s really reassuring - I know there are some great midwives out there but I have just felt a bit fobbed off by them so far (things like recommending pregnecare when my iron is very very low and of course I’m already taking that alongside stronger iron medication) I think I’m going to have to just advocate for myself a bit more in my next appointment.

My heart says I want a vaginal birth but I just worry that you have less control in that process if something goes wrong for baby and I'm hearing lot of them ending up in emergency c sections, I think I just need to make a list of pros and cons and make a decision.

@Gardenlady543 thanks for sharing, a natural c section does sound like a really good option so will definitely bring that up in my next appointment - so excited for you that your in the home stretch and you have a great plan for the birth x

@AM08 @Gardenlady543 Some of the gentle c section stuff you can just ask for and some they do automatically. They tend to do delayed chord clamping for everyone at my hospital. I asked for the baby to come straight to my chest rather than having checks first and they are fine with this (unless there is something wrong of course). So I had DS and DD straight on me and they took them off for weighing etc when I was ready. We originally wanted our music selection but weren't bothered in the end. I was also going to do the vaginal swabbing thing with DD where you wipe the baby in a swab from your vagina to give them the various stuff they would have got in a natural birth - but again I didn't bother in the end!

Whichever way you do it, having a baby is a wonderful day with some tough stuff involved. But overall wonderful.

One thing to have in mind is that babies look a bit odd when they first come out! That really threw me with my first. In some ways the shock at how she looked did distract me from the wonder of it all. It's my own regret from having DD. So be prepared - they can look puffy and a strange blueish/white colour and have blood on them!!!

@Gardenlady543 wow 8 weeks! I’m struggling to bend down at 19 weeks 🙈 I have my 20 week scan on Monday. I’m going to sign up to NCT after the scan.

How have you been feeling? How’s the reflux?

I haven’t given type of birth any detailed thought yet. They all scare me atm but that’s probably because I haven’t done any research into them.

@Janefx40 it sounds like you had a really good experience and the hospital were really accommodating. With the vaginal swabbing, what made you decide not to do it in the end? Funny about the music, these things seem so important in the planning stage but probably a lot less of it happens in reality

Thanks for sharing about the newborns and how they might look, in my NCT they mentioned it but good to hear first hand. If you don’t mind me asking, how long until they start looking normal?

Also how are DD (not sure of her name) & Leo doing?

@AM08 DD was an induction that ended in a section. I had planned to have as close to a hypnobirthing experience as possible (low lights, quiet, breathing etc) but we were there for 2 days before the section and because nothing was happening, I wasn't in pain or in any intense kind of place. It was mostly just long and boring. So having told people we wouldn't be in touch until it was over we ended up whatsapping everyone and anyone. I chatted to people I'd not spoken to in years 😂. And we were in with the midwives for hours and again, because nothing was happening, it didn't really feel like I wanted to tell them not to chat or to turn down the lights etc.

With the swabbing I think I actually just forgot tbh with DD and because she was fine I just didn't bother with DS.

I think DD "de-puffed" within a few hours!! I was so determined to enjoy that first sight of DS...but for some reason I can't even remember that first look now!

@Spin101 exciting to have your 20 weeks scan booked!!

@Spin101 I mean to have it so soon. Hope all goes well on Monday. It is a special scan as you get to see so much x

@Spin101 Bon Jovi week coming up for you then! Erg vomiting still coming and going. Nevermind it is what it is.

@Janefx40 that is an amazing experience you had with DD, it sounds like you went through a lot but in the end it was super chilled out and just how it was supposed to be!

Aw it must be such a blur when they come out and just look like little aliens - thanks for the heads up on it as I imagine I would be worrying a bit!

@Gardenlady543 have you got your 32 week appointment soon? And how often are you have you got scans? Think our next one is at 36 weeks

i had my scan today. It was such an anticlimax. We were 6 mins late and the sonographer rushed through to finish on the hour. The scan was less than 25 mins. I’m sure the nuchal scan was much longer. She checked everything so quickly and barely explained anything to us. We didn’t get a full profile view to see what the baby was doing, just saw individual segments. How were your 20 scans? We are obviously grateful everything seems ok however DH and I felt quite sad afterwards as we didn’t feel like we saw the baby properly

@Spin101 i’m glad everything is good with baby but sorry to hear your scan felt a bit rushed and it is disappointing not to get a profile view of baby - my 20 week scan was a positive experience but my 28 week scan was dreadful, trainee sonographer who was pushing really hard on me and i just didn’t get to see anything really - think the scans can be quite hit and miss.

@Spin101 my 12 week scan was a nightmare, like @AM08 experienced the scanner pushed really hard and it hurt me, I was so worried the baby had been harmed by her putting her whole body weight onto my abdomen that I arranged a private scan for two days later. She also didn't say what she was seeing and when I was asking for reassurance she said she would write the report and I would get it after. It's pretty hit and miss on the NHS, I've had a much better experience with ultrasound direct, their technicians are so friendly and kind and reassuring. My 20 week scan on the NHS was ok, I was quite distracted as I'd had immune bloods which had been abnormal and I had to speak to my specialist outside the hospital so I was really stressed.

@AM08 I have my 32 week scan late next week as the consultant is going to scan me himself so it's going to be at around 33 weeks. Then I have another 4 weeks later. Think I may get an extra ultrasound direct scan inbetween the two. How are you feeling have you been buying stuff? We went and got a car seat at the weekend.

@thislittlebird how are you getting on?

@seven201 how are you at home is the building work sorted? Have you recovered from the surgery?

@Gardenlady543 I’m ok, thanks, not caught up here but I’m 12 weeks now and weaning off the meds. A bit nervous for Saturday’s scan and worried about stopping the blood thinners. They put me on them but never tested to see if I needed them, so I decided to drop down to aspirin for a few days to make myself feel better. I’ve been told to take cyckogest until my scan, so I will do that for peace of mind too.

The 12 week scan is abdominal, right? Your experiences sound very mixed, I’m dreading it a bit

@Spin101 sorry the scan was disappointing. My 20 week with DS was like that but I thought it was an anomaly. She said at the beginning she wasn't going to talk and then looked at everything - it's true you just see body parts but when they explain what each is it is amazing. My friend is a sonographer and was really cross when she heard my scanner didn't explain anything. We had a private 20 week scan at our recurrent miscarriage clinic that was much better.

But with DS our NHS scan was great and detailed too so I was hoping that was the norm and you'd get that!!!

The later scans are just quick heath checks I'm afraid so you may need to go private if you want a different 20 week experience 😢