ERA/Alice/Emma infertility thread graduates/pregnancies

[seven201]

If you are a regular on the infertility board you may have seen the ERA/Alice/Emma threads for those going through those tests after lots of unsuccessful IVF or recurrent losses. This thread is for the ladies from there who are now pregnant. We can share our worries and joys.

I am useless at remembering who is pregnant from which thread so please do add yourself or tag others. @Janefx40 and @Faithhopelove83.

Also, if anyone who has fully graduated/had their baby, then please feel free to join if you wish. I don't want to tag individuals as I don't want people to feel obliged.

If you've also just had lots of failed ivf and/or recurrent miscarriages you are of course welcome too!

A little bit about me. I have a naturally conceived nearly 7 year old dc. Have been trying for dc2 for 5 1/4 years. One natural early loss, 5 failed ivf, 3 surgeries (main one being an adhesion removed), 2 natural pregnancies and early losses, 1 ivf pregnancy that got to heartbeat stage. This pregnancy is a letrazole round and I'm 9+6 (although measuring 9+0 but that's been consistent) so due early November. I've been spotting brown for the past 3 days but my scan was this afternoon, so reassuring (although still worried). I'm under the CRP clinic in epsom due to the miscarriages.

Good luck to us all!

@Faithhopelove83 good luck!!! Hope it goes well x

@Faithhopelove83 how did it go? X

Thanks 🙂

Scan went well today! Baby is measuring slightly ahead now. Strong heartbeat, which we were able to hear as well as see 😍. Such an amazing gift, but I don't know if I can receive it yet (if you know what I mean). Still a long way to go. Dare I think that this could be it? I had reached the point where I thought I might never be a mum.
Intralipids went ok too. So glad it was (hopefully) my second last lot!
So I think I'll be discharged from my fertility clinic now (save for intralipids at 12 weeks). Tommys are going to give me a scan at 10 weeks and then I should have my NHS scan around 12 weeks. I'll be so glad to come off most of the meds then. Got the 12 week mark in my sights and then we are off on holiday! Just need to keep holding on until then.

Hope you are both keeping well x

Great news @Faithhopelove83 totally understandable that you're not leaping with joy. It's still a nervous time but you can be quietly pleased that you've got through this milestone!

@Faithhopelove83 ahhh, lovely update. It's such a jumble of emotions - hope, excitement, worry all rolled into one. That's good you have a good treatment plan going forward.

Thanks both ❤
That's exactly it - a jumble of emotions!

I had my nuchal scan with prof Akolekar this evening. Scan itself was good but my standard blood test combined with my age puts it as high risk for downs (1/22), but the scan didn’t show any Down’s syndrome markers, which he said he thinks is a big deal and it looks like a healthy baby. The harmony/NIPT test blood tests results aren’t in so hoping they come back tomorrow and that should tell us one way or another (more or less). I also have a fibroid they need to keep an eye on (only a problem if it grows much more, hopefully won’t) and a small blood clot next to or under my placenta, also need to keep an eye on. So I’ve got another scan with him in 4 weeks to keep an eye on those things. So overall I think it’s probably ok... Hoping we get the harmony results tomorrow and not after bank hol!

@seven201 oh I'm so glad you have seen him. He's amazing isn't he? Of everyone I've seen on my infertility journey, he's the one I rave about. I would feel very reassured if he thinks it's a healthy baby. If you google his NHS clinic he has some amazing statistic about his rate of detecting abnormalities and issues.

I don't know much about blood clots or fibroids but you are definitely in the right hands being managed by him. I'm sorry there are yet more worries tho.

Good luck with Harmony results. Will you find out the sex?

Thanks @Janefx40 he was really amazing. And Dr Olivia also amazing, they both scanned me - was in there for ages despite appt starting an hr
Late at 7pm. So thorough. Yeah, he was very reassuring about it all but obviously the 1/22 hangs over you so I didn't sleep well. I'll be referred to his nhs team once my nhs blood test shows the 1/22, but I should get the NIPT results before that fully kicks in.

I don't think I need to be too worried about the fibroid or blood clot, but good he'll be checking on them. Yes, we ticked the find out sex box on the harmony. Really hope results are in before the bank hol. Got my nhs 12 week scan this afternoon! Busy couple of days.

@seven201 I'm so sorry, I meant to message you ahead of your scan yesterday! I remembered and then it must have slipped. I don't know anything about these tests, and I'm sorry for the worry they have caused, but it sounds like you're in very good hands and I'm glad the doctors were reassuring. I hope you get the rest of the results today. Ooo that's exciting to be able to find out the sex! Hope your scan goes well today too x

@Faithhopelove83 thank you. No results yet. One of the nurses has been chasing them for me but no joy yet.

Still no NIPT results but here's a scan photo. Very underwhelming scan after yesterday's one, just very quick and no explaining things. But no concerns raised.

NHS have set due date as 9th Nov but CRP/Dr A as 7th

@seven201 beautiful 💕

The NHS 12 week scans are pretty brief but hopefully you were able to enjoy it a bit after yesterday!

It's a shame about the NIPT. I know what a tense wait it is. Hopefully you get the results soon 🤞🏼

@seven201 Ahhh, lovely photo! 💗Thank you for sharing - it spurs me on a bit! Sorry you felt rushed and also that your NIPT results haven't come. Hopefully they come in soon. For now, I think a wee celebration of this milestone is in order! Especially after everything you've been through!

Have a lovely long weekend both x

Thank you ladies. I just was unlucky to get a really grumpy sonographer today, but I should focus on the good scans! Hoping to sleep better tonight and have a more positive weekend. Happy start of bank holiday weekend!

I'm feeling pissed off. Harmony/NIPT didn't have enough DNA in it to give a result. So now they're going to check the second sample, but that's unlikely to show anything too. So I guess I have to wait another few days to get the official no result, then go for another blood draw, so will take ages!

I'm also feeling really fat, in face (and chin!) and belly. I was offered a seat yesterday at the playground!

How's everyone else?

I'm so sorry to hear that @seven201 , that is massively frustrating, no wonder you're pee'd off. I really hope the second sample has enough for the test.

I haven't been doing so great. I don't even know how to express it. I guess the constant nausea, fatigue and anxiety has taken it's toll. Symptoms improved Saturday night and I felt almost normal on Sunday, but that - together with night sweats Saturday and Sunday - made me feel more anxious, I thought something was wrong. Now I'm just back to feeling completely wiped out. I went for a gentle walk yesterday and I was exhausted afterwards. Every day, I just want to stay in bed and I have no energy or enthusiasm for anything. It's like everything has been sucked out of me. It gets me down as I feel like I'm not coping, which makes me feel inadequate, like I'm failing. And if I can't cope now, how am I meant to cope with everything to come? It's also upsetting that I don't feel like I can bond with baby yet, I still struggle to believe they're there and I worry about things going wrong. I can't enjoy the pregnancy let alone get excited. It's been like this for weeks now and I've got to the point where work has got to give, so I'm taking the rest of the week off. It at least relieves some of the pressure. I'm trying to reassure myself that I'm bound to feel this way after everything I've been through and the drugs I'm still having to take etc. But I still feel so rubbish. DH is amazing and we've gone back to counselling, which has helped. I just need to get through this week, midwife on Friday and then another scan on Tuesday. Hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Sorry for my big moan 😔

@Faithhopelove83 I've been grumpy all day and have been most unproductive at work. I've had enough of nothing being straightforward.

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much. I'm really pleased you've taken the rest of the week off. What are you planning to do with the week? Just wondering if you can do something to distract your mind a bit as I find sometimes being at home I just get carried away googling things which doesn't help me. Counselling is a great shout too. I think it's entirely normal to not feel bonding yet. How many weeks are you now? With what we've all been through to get to this stage it causes trauma that can't just be forgotten because of happy news. And we all know happy news is actually happy tied up with massive worry. I'm rambling on. I hope I'm making some sense. Hopefully the midwife Friday will be reassuring and only a week until the next scan now. If you think you need something to help with the anxiety then there is stuff safe to take in pregnancy I believe so do make a gp appt if you want. Big love.

No dna in my second sample either

@seven201 Ugh!!! You have my full sympathy. This happened to use TWICE with this pregnancy. First time was lack of DNA, second was an error by the doctor (used an out of date test kit and the lab wouldn't process it!). I feel your pain

@Faithhopelove83 be gentle on yourself. You have been through a lot. In my first pregnancy I was beside myself and went to my GP. I remember crying and saying similar things to you below about how I should be able to cope and he said "why would anyone be able to cope with this?". That has really stayed with me. No one is able to cope with the level of stress we are under during a pregnancy post IVF and/or loss.

It is totally normal and means nothing at all about how you will cope with a baby. I was besides myself with anxiety during my pregnancy and surprisingly became quite a chilled mum. It doesn't correlate.

The pregnancy anxiety will get gradually better but it is gradual. For me it improved when I felt regular movement but that is quite a long way off.

And why should you bond at this point?! It's totally normal, not to. Of course we desperately hope it will become a baby and we will bond with the baby but there is no expectation to bond before that. Even once the baby is born it can take time and that is totally fine too.

Oh and the lack of energy....is probably because you are pregnant and that's what it feels like. Your body is growing a human and is putting all it's energy into that.

Pregnancy post IVF and loss is incredibly hard. One of the toughest things I have been through - far harder than the IVF itself although I would never say that on an IVF board as it would be insensitive because that is also horrendous.

Just let yourself experience it however you do and don't judge yourself. I think you're amazing 😘

Thank you for your lovely messages @seven201 and @Janefx40 ❤. So reassuring and encouraging.

@seven201 I think I'm just exhausted and everything always feels 100% worse when you're tired. I'm sorry for how you're feeling too. I can identify with feeling grumpy and fed-up with nothing being straightforward. I'm hoping once I come off the drugs, that should help me feel a bit better and hopefully more normal (I'm still on estrogen, Lubion, prednisolone, Cyclogest and Clexane). I think you're around 3 weeks ahead of me. I'm 9+3 now, but baby was measuring a couple of days ahead at the last scan. Are you weaning off the pred now? How's that going? (Remind me, is this your first time on the pred and intralipids?)
"Bond" probably wasn't the right word - what I mean is feeling close to / connected to baby, talking to them, dreaming... all the things I felt/did the last time I was this far along (2 years ago), despite a previous loss. This time, I feel disconnected. I have a beautiful scan photo of baby, but I look at it and it's like my brain can't/won't compute that it's inside of me. I guess it will just take time.
Yes, I hope seeing the midwife will help and will make it more real.
Thank you for the support x
Urgh, I've just seen that your second sample can't be used either! How mega frustrating. Does this mean you have to go for another blood draw?

@Janefx40 Thank you for sharing your previous experience, it's so helpful and encouraging. I love that - why would anyone be able to cope with this? I'll hold onto that. I know I'm so hard on myself. You're right, IVF is tough and then pregnancy just gets a whole lot tougher! Thank you, that's so kind 😘. Thank you for the encouragement x
How are you doing? Less than 2 weeks to go now!

@Janefx40 TWICE! That would drive me insane!! I'd be alright for a re-test if we hadn't had the high risk 1/22 other result. Just out of CRP to have the re-test. Whilst sat in the waiting room the NHS rang to offer me the NIPT for free, but this re-test is free anyway. Agh.

How are you doing? Are you still really busy on mat leave?

@Faithhopelove83 it really is a very tough time both physically and mentally so be kind to yourself. Tiredness wise it's only been this week that I've started to get some energy back.

@seven201 Thank you ❤
I'm glad you're beginning to get some energy back.
Any news on your test results? Are you expecting them today?

Update from me is that my midwife booking appointment went well this morning. Midwife is just the loveliest and I very much feel in safe hands 😊
Just 4 days to go until my next scan, but time is moving sooo slooowly!