ERA/Alice/Emma infertility thread graduates/pregnancies

[seven201]

If you are a regular on the infertility board you may have seen the ERA/Alice/Emma threads for those going through those tests after lots of unsuccessful IVF or recurrent losses. This thread is for the ladies from there who are now pregnant. We can share our worries and joys.

I am useless at remembering who is pregnant from which thread so please do add yourself or tag others. @Janefx40 and @Faithhopelove83.

Also, if anyone who has fully graduated/had their baby, then please feel free to join if you wish. I don't want to tag individuals as I don't want people to feel obliged.

If you've also just had lots of failed ivf and/or recurrent miscarriages you are of course welcome too!

A little bit about me. I have a naturally conceived nearly 7 year old dc. Have been trying for dc2 for 5 1/4 years. One natural early loss, 5 failed ivf, 3 surgeries (main one being an adhesion removed), 2 natural pregnancies and early losses, 1 ivf pregnancy that got to heartbeat stage. This pregnancy is a letrazole round and I'm 9+6 (although measuring 9+0 but that's been consistent) so due early November. I've been spotting brown for the past 3 days but my scan was this afternoon, so reassuring (although still worried). I'm under the CRP clinic in epsom due to the miscarriages.

Good luck to us all!

@Gardenlady543 I'm sorry you have this stress. Did they also see the fetal pole?

@Janefx40 all they said was gestational sac present and measured 6 weeks, they sent the image. I asked about a heart beat as I know that can be present at this time but they said they don't look for this at this time.

@Gardenlady543 I'm not used to reading scans of that kind. I suppose what you'd want to see at 6 weeks is the embryonic sac, fetal pole and yolk sac but it could be too early for a heartbeat yes. It's a different type of scan tho. It's agonising but with these things you just have to watch and wait.

Good luck for your scan tomorrow x

@Janefx40 thanks, a week to go until my scan though. So I have a hard week ahead as I'm expecting an update on the surrogate on Monday. I did not expect this at all when the prognosis was looking so good :(

@Gardenlady543 it's just so early that scans can just be really unhelpful. The waiting is torture. I recommend keeping busy - have you got plans for the weekend?

Not that it matters, I'm just wondering, do you think this but I've circled in pink is the fibroid? At 12 weeks it measured 3.5cm and if what I've circled is the fibroid it looks like it's not got bigger, which would be good. The doctor didn't mention it at all today as Prof A is looking properly next week.

@seven201 no plans really, everything has really hit me tonight, I'm really tearful. Friends are trying to tell me to switch off completely and focus on my pregnancy. This is such an unusual situation to be in. I think maybe I need to try and cry for a bit and then just stop and try and block it all out for my own prognosis. The coordinators know I'm pregnant and said they debated whether to tell me at all knowing the situation I'm in.

@Gardenlady543 that could be a good plan. Give yourself a bit of time to absorb/be sad and then pick yourself up a bit by doing something to distract yourself. A new craft project, a gardening thing, go to the theatre/cinema? A bit of mindfulness or yoga? I'm glad the other clinic know about your pregnancy now - good to get that out in the open.

@Janefx40 are you home now? How is baby's breathing? How are you? X

@Gardenlady543 I'm sorry this is all so overwhelming. It's hard enough dealing with one IVF pregnancy let alone 2. Sorry I got my dates muddied with you scan.

@seven201 we're stuck in NICU but they insist it's not too worrying so I hope they're right. As I'm breastfeeding I have to be there 24/7

@Janefx40 I'm sorry you're both stuck there. From what I've heard NICU are realistic so it's good they've been reassuring. Does he just need a bit of time for his lungs to strengthen?

@Gardenlady543 im sorry to hear about what’s happened with your pregnancy with the surrogate, hopefully Monday will yield more positive news - what a bumpy journey. Hope your ok and like everyone’s said try and take your mind off it this weekend (easier said then done) but even some distraction is good!

@Janefx40 it’s good the baby’s being monitored closely and hopefully the issue with the breathing resolves asap. Hope your able to get some rest too xx

Oh no @Janefx40 so sorry to hear this, you're definitely in the safest place, I really hope you are coping ok there after your operation, I bet you just want to be back at home ❤️ hoping for some good news asap so you and little one can get home.

Thanks everyone, finding it really hard as I have never got near to where I am right now and I was reassured that the surrogate would have a much better prognosis. Got really tearful about it all last night but I think I need to try and forget about it, the worst scenario would be I lose both because I have got myself stressed and upset. I had a good nights sleep, I have some craft projects I can do. I just need to pretend this isn't happening I think. I can't imagine anything but bad news coming with the update on Monday.

@Gardenlady543 Thank you. Yes, they will want to delay the intralipids if I'm not well, but I can't delay more than 3 days because I'm then on holiday. I'm so sorry for the stress, upset and uncertainty surrounding your surrogate's pregnancy. I'm glad you've got some craft projects to focus on today and I hope you can focus on you this weekend, although difficult x

@InvisibleDreamer Thank you. I'm sorry you've got a cold too at the moment and it's taking longer to shift, but good it's not got worse or turned into anything nasty. That's what I was most worried about. My cough has got worse, but it's manageable. I just need to rest up over the weekend. I hope you're doing ok and feel better soon x

@seven201 Thank you. How awful to have got all those bugs at once! Thanks for the tip, that's good to know - I've been checking my temp and it's ok. I'm glad your scan went well yesterday - such lovely photos! I don't know anything about fibroids, but what you've circled does look like it could be it - if so, glad it hasn't got any bigger and all is well x

@Janefx40 I'm so sorry you're both in NICU, that must be very difficult. I hope you're both getting looked after and that little one's breathing gets better soon so you can both go home. Sending love x

@seven201 gorgeous pics! Sorry - I just looked and the fibroid and didn't notice the baby!! Congrats

@Janefx40 thanks! Any signs of being allowed home anytime soon? Must be so frustrating being stuck there.

@seven201 yes! We came home this afternoon. It's great to be back

@Gardenlady543 good luck tomorrow for your surrogates scan. Will be thinking of you x

@Janefx40 Welcome home! Great news x

@Janefx40 so happy your all at home and can get settled into a bit of a routine!

@Faithhopelove83 are you feeling any better now? Also where are you off on your holiday?

@Gardenlady543 I hope you’ve managed to keep distracted this weekend (or as much as possible) will be thinking of you tomorrow. Keep us posted. Xx

Ive had a relatively chill weekend, no major updates apart from MIL announcing the pregnancy to people (this would be her first grandchild). Totally get her excitement but it’s a bit daunting at 7.5 weeks pregnant.

@Janefx40 that is fabulous news!!!! Must be lush to be home now.

@Gardenlady543 best of luck for tomorrow.

@AM08 oof! That is a bit cheeky. I randomly bumped into my aunt (not seen her in 9 years since a funeral) in a shopping centre when I was about 7 weeks pregnant and once she realised who I was (took her a while ) she congratulated me on my pregnancy. I didn't know what to say as I had no idea my dad had told his brother and wife. We then had an awkward conversation about miscarriages next to the Krispy Kreme stand!

@Faithhopelove83 any signs of getting better?

@seven201 gosh that’s just totally ridiculous, can just picture what that must have been like outside Krispy Crème 😂 it’s like how did they not get the memo about telling people after 12 weeks. We knew she’d told 1-2 friends which we were ok with considering it’s been a journey with ivf but to start announcing to family is a bit much…

@Janefx40 oh wow, I'm so glad you're home! Hope little one is settling in ❤️

@Faithhopelove83 how are you feeling?

@seven201 I'm not sure about the fibroid, but looks like it's quite far out, it's in the muscle I take it?

Oh gosh @AM08 I completely get that, we are all so cautious.

Thanks everyone, I have had an ok weekend, managed to distract myself with a craft project and directing DH though some garden work. Our coordinator has messaged this morning to say our surrogate is feeling calmer now and has had no more vaginal bleeding over the weekend and we need to wait for the appointment this afternoon now. So at least that's something that the bleeding stopped. I don't know what to think, most people I told, said they think there was a twin and it's gone and there is a chance of a viable singleton, my only concern is the beta being so low though. I just have to wait now.

Unfortunately the update in our surrogate was bad, the beta is now 300 and they have recommended vac aspiration. I can't really make any decisions on what to do next as I need to wait for my scan. I just can't believe it, when I looked at studies with her beta levels and doubling, 100% of people had positive outcomes and I thought I was the one with the bad prognosis, I think this would be deemed a chemical still as that seems to be raised beta with no heart beat and from what I can see that happens in about 10% of transfers, I'd be so unlucky if this happens to both me and the surrogate. Really hoping I have a good scan on Saturday now.