Is it true the placenta “takes over /is formed at around 8 weeks”

[worryingalot]

I’m unexpectedly pregnant and have had far too much alcohol during the pregnancy to be honest
Up to 6-7 weeks
I have stopped now but I’ve been torturing myself about the damage I may have done. I have had previous miscarriages and blamed myself
I keep reading online re accidental alcohol/drugs/partying that the placenta isn’t formed prior to around 8 weeks and so the baby is quite well protected and takes it’s supply from the yolk sac
is this nonsense?
Ive read also it’s more the second half of the first trimester that is worse
but we are not talking up to when a test should have been positive (like a missed period) it would be more around 6-7 weeks of potential damage
I’m worrying myself silly over this and can’t find enough information that verifies the placenta comment I have seen repeated
any ideas?
thanks

*its was autocorrected to it’s on my phone
sorry for typos

Health care professional here. Nil judgement from me but honest answer, alcohol can cause harm to a foetus at any point during the pregnancy. It's good that you have stopped now but you won't know for sure until you have your scans. I'd also be honest with your midwife in case they need to monitor you more closely. Take care x

No extra monitoring will be needed for drinking up to 6-7 weeks as long as you've stopped now. It happens, don't beat yourself up. The main thing is you now know and are taking steps to improve things

Thanks for your replies
I realise it would still share a blood supply
I’ve just been trying to convince myself the yolk sac would magically protect it from my awful lifestyle
I’m in the later half of my 30s I should know better
I’m so worried I’ve damaged it already I had miscarriages previously and drank then when I didn’t know I am really cross with myself I’ve let this happen again
I very much want to continue with the pregnancy if it’s healthy but I’m very worried it will be harmed
I haven’t had any bleeding but I’ve had a loss of pregnancy symptoms in the last few days which is making me more worried
I lost them previously around this time also
thanks

It is difficult for me being around my partner when he goes out and comes back he drinks and smokes and does all sorts of things
he sees no problem with me drinking etc even now I know (havent since I knew for sure) but it can be quite hard to be around

I very much want to continue with the pregnancy if it’s healthy but I’m very worried it will be harmed

Carry on if you wish, it's your choice. And if the baby has issues, it has. Many babies do with perfect pregnancies. I know a few lovely people with FASD.

My worry is that you are tying yourself, and worse your baby, to a man who isn't a father. He drinks and smokes and will be entitled to access. In fact it will be almost impossible to stop it. Is that what you want for a child? Not a baby who you can protect in the short term. But a 6 yo, a 16 yo? With a drinking and "all sorts" father?

Think really carefully about the life and parent you are choosing for your child.

What about when the baby arrives OP? Partying will be very low on your list of priorities, is your partner on the same page?

This

No he’s not on the same page
he’s just told me to wait until the scan
he refuses to say he doesn’t want it but
he was encouraging me to go out tonight to a wine event (without him, but still) I’d have ended up drinking maybe. I didn’t go and he was annoyed I didn’t go.
He went to a friend’s apartment this week and came back with a cocktail of things his mate had given him
he is nearly 50.. he goes out a lot and drinks and takes drugs
we don’t live together and I cannot see that changing much

It’s not a good environment for me if I’m trying to be clean living etc
I have noticed when he goes away at weekends I don’t drink or anything
when he is around it’s all he wants to do it has become so habitual
he says he has no problem because he can stop and it doesn’t affect him
but I don’t feel like I can have a healthy pregnancy and be around it that easily. He definitely won’t stop
And I don’t think he’d stop with a new baby either he’d be going out a lot. He mocked his good friend (who used to take drugs and drink with him) for going sober when he had his DC a couple of years ago.
I know I can do it but I’m just so cross with myself for falling into this pattern and now I am worried sick about the potential harms

I’ve read some stuff that says the worst time is 7-12 weeks I don’t know if that’s true or just me clinging to it as wishful thinking

I just find it very hard to be in those environments without doing the same old thing and drinking especially when everyone else is
I think the answer for me is to not go out as much anymore or to go with people who know I’m pregnant so there is not the pressure to drink. I realise I should be able to say confidently I could have gone tonight and not had any drinks but I don’t know really. I realise that sounds really bad! I’m worried sick in the one hand and then have this awful background habit myself where it’s just so normal to go out a lot and drink a lot and stuff

he says he has no problem because he can stop... He definitely won’t stop

He has an issue. And you are with him which means you do too.

The best case you you leave and solo parent. Chances are baby will be fine. Really.

The worst is that he continues to use, you stay, and the child has a shitty addicted father, leading to all kinds of emotional issues. You want to leave but he uses access to continue to mess with you. Especially if the baby is affected, they need good parents.

I’d even possibly consider a termination if I’ve harmed it, but I very much want this to be ok I am so so cross with myself. I am a professional with a few degrees I was top of the class I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid about this I really didn’t think I was pregnant.

if it’s healthy and not harmed by this I can imagine being by myself with it
I just dread the idea of it having some developmental issues or more that could have been avoided. I realise that sounds really bad

It's the third week after fertilisation which isn't week three of a pregnancy because of how it's counted. Ask a midwife or doctor for proper dates.

However, I've worked with a lot of alcohol and drug affected children and it tends to be a LOT of use. We're you drinking a lot? In the third week and later.

But you seem to be worrying about the maybe harm of drinking and not addressing the definite and real harm of an emotionally absent and addicted father. Why is that?

You need to think about getting away from him. It would be healthier for you and the baby

@worryingalot

Regardless of what happens with this pregnancy you should reconsider your relationship with your boyfriend;he sounds toxic with the drinking and drug taking,these activities can destroy a person not to mention eat their money and would suggest he's irresponsible,unreliable and immature.

What's his financial situation?;is he working?;can he financially support a child?;would he want access?,do you want your child being alone with a known drink&drug abuser?;would your child be safe?

Do you have any other children?

Have you thought about how you’ll cope with a baby on your own? Do you have a good support system in place?

If your partner is smoking cannabis in your presence then you could also be exposing yourself. You keep alluding to drug use, have you only been drinking?

Thank you for your replies sorry for my ranting
he is bad news I think yes it’s very much a trauma bond sort of relationship it’s been very unhealthy for a while
He has always partied etc and has a very careless attitude about it
whereas I never used to take drugs or anything (haven’t for a while now but I did last year with him) but just the other day he brought drugs back from his mate’s flat and put them in the table and tried to get me to take some
This is when he knew I was pregnant
I got up and took a vitamin instead ..

part of me wonders if he’s doing it deliberately to cause a miscarriage despite knowing how this affected me before
then he doesn’t have to deal with an actual pregnancy ?
he refuses to tell me he wants a termination but his actions tell me he doesn’t want a healthy pregnancy he is heavily encouraging drinking and drugs now he knows

I had a few nights where I drank a lot in the third week and after yes but not daily drinking

All his mates appear to be the same as him so perhaps it normalises it for him
they’re all constantly somewhere like soho house or other members clubs drinking or doing lines and then he does disappearing acts on me for weekends here and there etc
he thinks it’s normal and says he has no issue
he has a job I don’t think he would be that willing to provide financially though
I always get the bill 🤦‍♀️

I suppose it depends how much you’ve been drinking. If you’ve been getting absolutely bladdered repeatedly I’d be more concerned than if you had the occasional glass of wine.

I think on maybe 4 occasions since the third week after fertilisation I’ve drank a LOT and another twice I had one beer

I realise I’ve been very irresponsible
I just really hope it could turn out ok
I will seriously think about your comments
yes he probably would want access he took his ex to court for access but doesn’t change his habits when his DC is around ( teen) he leaves them with a neighbour and still goes out

He is apparently engaged but it seems a bit fake and Disney style when he’s with them, when he is not sleeping off the night before
I realise to try to have a healthy pregnancy I will need to keep away from all this stuff
To him it is perfectly normal

he took his ex to court for access but doesn’t change his habits when his DC is around ( teen) he leaves them with a neighbour and still goes out

Are you sure you have ruled out terminating? Tying a child to this when you know he's this person is a real issue.

Is it a 'last chance' type of situation? Because he took his ex to COURT. Which implies she tried very hard not to have him anywhere near the poor kid and he did this anyway, even though he doesn't parent adequately.

Third week of pregnancy isn't third week after fertilisation. Which is why you need to talk to a HCP.