Is it true the placenta “takes over /is formed at around 8 weeks”

[worryingalot]

I’m unexpectedly pregnant and have had far too much alcohol during the pregnancy to be honest
Up to 6-7 weeks
I have stopped now but I’ve been torturing myself about the damage I may have done. I have had previous miscarriages and blamed myself
I keep reading online re accidental alcohol/drugs/partying that the placenta isn’t formed prior to around 8 weeks and so the baby is quite well protected and takes it’s supply from the yolk sac
is this nonsense?
Ive read also it’s more the second half of the first trimester that is worse
but we are not talking up to when a test should have been positive (like a missed period) it would be more around 6-7 weeks of potential damage
I’m worrying myself silly over this and can’t find enough information that verifies the placenta comment I have seen repeated
any ideas?
thanks

I’m not bleeding anymore but the scan was really bad it was far too small for dates and had a chorionic bump and a very low heart rate I think it’s going to be another miscarriage whatever now.
I feel like I’d like to take the progesterone but he’d be cross if he knew I tried to save it. I can’t imagine it can recover from being so behind in dates. I don’t really know if it’s already damaged either presumably it is for whatever reason but I’ve stopped bleeding. I’m just so cross with myself I really thought maybe he was just rather foolish and that maybe he thought oh people go out partying and don’t even know they’re pregnant and have healthy babies at the end, I didn’t realise it was so deliberate.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. This man sounds like a narcissist and an abuser. He's trying to make you have a miscarriage and trying to get you to do drugs while pregnant.... I hope you leave him OP for your sake and the sake of your future baby/ies.

I feel like I’d like to take the progesterone but he’d be cross if he knew I tried to save it.

You're deep in the FOG love. Anyone looking at this from the outside is thinking, "who cares about how he feels?". Only one person should be angry here and it's you.

Take the pills if you want, it's your body. I think you probably are right that there's not a great deal of hope for the pregnancy. But if you want to try, try.

You need to get away from this man. He's a really bad person.

@worryingalot Have you support to leave this man? Pregnancy or not, you need to get away from this man for your own wellbeing.

I think I’ll try the pessaries but I have a feeling it is too late as I lost my symptoms last week and the scan looked bad. I feel so guilty I may have damaged it.
I am deep in the fog yes. I don’t know how I’ve let all this happen really. I trusted him I knew him for years but as my friend and it all suddenly got a bit horrible when it switched to a relationship “treat them mean to keep them keen” he says to his mates
I put it down to him being very avoidant / dismissive avoidant, but he has quite a few covert narcissist traits really. He’s absolutely lovely to everyone else. Self esteem is at rock bottom
and I’ve allowed it to mess up my career etc somewhat recently also. I have also ended up paying for everything so he’ll be nicer, which I cannot do. He often does disappearing acts or silent treatment or blocks me for extended periods,
then if I ever react says I’m the bad guy. I used to watch some online videos on attachment stuff as I felt I was getting more anxious. I had myself together before this. I feel quite embarrassed and ashamed really.
thanks for listening sorry again! I am
worried it’s already a miscarriage and taking the progesterone might just hide that fact but I think I might regret not trying. I think it’s pretty hopeless.

I think you have to give this one to the universe. The pregnancy either is or isn't.

The thing you have actual power over is the next phase of your life. I know so many women who felt just below zero. They are now great, thriving. Because they left and made lives.

Remember, whether you stay or go, you are choosing that. Make a conscious choice.

Taking the progesterone won’t hide anything, it’ll possibly just stop you miscarrying naturally. You’ve to go back for another scan and it will all be clear then although from what you’ve posted I do agree, it doesn’t look good. It’s nothing you have done though, it sounds like chromosomal issues so if I were you I’d look to have the tissue tested and this will give you some peace that you didn’t cause this.

However, you cannot get pregnant again with this man and I’m not sure why you haven’t already broken up. But one step at a time, if it makes you feel better to try then take the progesterone and for the love of god don’t tell him. Then get rid of him!

It was another miscarriage at the later scan. I am just waiting for it to happen now as they don’t do medical management and I’m worried about the surgical management they want me to have although I guess I may end up doing that.
I did stop drinking etc when I found out so I’m feeling better in myself probably just for being more clear headed for a while but I’m still pretty upset it’s ended like this it feels like it always will. I would have kept it by myself I guess. Also possibly upset due to hormones crashing <?> I was taking the progesterone but I’ve stopped it now since the later scan.
Partner was very smiley when I told him how the scan went, then went out all night with a mate without telling me, generally blanked any messages and refuses to talk through options like the forms I have for testing it, so zero empathy there
need to sort it all out I know

Thank you for your comments and support

Sorry you're going through a difficult time OP.

This man is a danger to your wellbeing. He sounds evil.

Please, please find a way to stop all contact with him.

Don't waste your life and your mental health on this utter cunt.

He's cruel. He will ruin your life. He's already trying to.

Sorry for what you've been through and sorry your partner is an absolute waste of air. I drank, smoked and even took drugs before I found out I was pregnant with my eldest (judge away, different lifetime, not proud!) and they were fine. So don't blame yourself for anything that was beyond your control.

need to sort it all out I know

Yes you do. When strangers on the internet care more about you than your partner, it's time to move on.

Please please do.

I just thought it might get better
I got somehow stuck in these mind games sorts of situations I don’t know
you know if I didn’t show up he’d say I’m cheating on him or he’d go out all night and do god knows what anyway but when I do show up I feel very devalued and he couldn’t care less
and lots of other stuff
I just wish he’d said he wanted a termination he still never said it despite clearly wanting a miscarriage. He refused to discuss it until the later scan he said. He then started saying I’m not pregnant anymore (?) when I was very much still pregnant in the last few weeks (I’d done a test to double check if it was getting fainter as I felt anxious about the scan coming up, and it was very dark)
then said I’d said things I’d never said at all about it,
deliberately misunderstanding the facts and pretending I’d said stuff
erm then said about a baby name he liked
it is all mind games I guess,
unless he is not aware he’s doing it
sorry I don’t mean to be so pathetic I am quite embarrassed really
I will take on board what you’ve said,
thank you

I didn’t tell him I’d been taking the progesterone I had to hide it from him
I feel quite cross with him for wanting this outcome I guess it was inevitable anyway but he has no concept of how horrible it is

The reason we hang around like a bad smell on these boards is often because we've been there ourselves. There's no need to be embarrassed. I got out of an utterly shitty marriage. About 7 years too late. And I'm great now. Really bone-deep happy.

That's why we bang on about it, we know it can be done.

You just have to do it.

I was in a very bad relationship once myself and managed to get out but it was physically abusive and he was much older and very controlling and threatening and just became very violent and erratic and absolutely impossible to salvage the relationship I just had to get out. It was hard leaving
I felt like I had myself together after that
qualified in my current job had quite a number of years single (partner mocks me for this says it’s abnormal and I’m autistic - maybe, but I was pretty sorted single)
now I don’t know how I’ve let this happen really, as I said I’d never be in a bad relationship again
I really trusted him and because he doesn’t hit me (well, maybe he has twice but that’s another story) it’s more of his words and actions so it’s more emotionally damaging. I feel worse in this relationship than the one where he was very obviously bad. Everyone else thinks current P is “such a lovely guy” he goes above and beyond for friends and really listens attentively to them really engages is very helpful to them. Also his family he comes running.
I just sort of don’t matter to him at all and nobody sees what he’s like behind closed doors.
I just feel like I’ve let my whole life slide in this mess of a relationship.
(ex died not that long ago,
Inquest is pending so I’ve been a bit stressed about it -
must have been ten or 11 years since we split up though but it’s fallen on me to deal with,
bit complicated!)
I will take heed of your words and try to remember I got myself together before so I should know better really. Thank you

Everyone else thinks current P is “such a lovely guy” he goes above and beyond for friends and really listens attentively to them really engages is very helpful to them. Also his family he comes running.

My exH too. After I left it turned out he hadn't fooled everyone.

Take care, love.

Thank you

@worryingalot I really hope life got better for you from here <3