How do I tell my family!?!

[charlotte121]

Im 20 and currently studying in my second year at uni. Im 20 weeks pregnant with my second child, i also have a 7 month old son. Does anyone have any tactics for telling my family. I know my grandma is going to flip! help please! charlotte

Its my grandparents im most frightened of telling. they have ver old fashioned views and wont take kindly to the news. They went mad when they found out ab my little boy but i cant keep it from them much longer as im starting to show. Im just worried as their old and i dont want to cause them extra worry or make them ill... or cause family arguments!

hi charlotte i wouldn't worry i'm sure they'd luv the lil baba! if u tell them now it will all calm 4when ur baby is born. ur baby will have a brother or sister to play with growing up hun think of ur self and wats best 4 u 1st! u only get 1 life,make the most of it! seriously it will all be o.k x

Thanks. Still think i might take the cowards way out and write them a letter. They live far away so its either that or the phone. eeek i better get thinking about what im going to say

Anybody that is in their second year at uni, with a 7 month child and expecting gets a big applause from me. You are obviosuly doing really well and youve already proved to them that you can do it with one child. They should be proud of you hun, and I'm sure they will be. I'm 20 and 30 weeks preggers with my first. I cacked myself when I told my dad and grandparents, and they said it didnt matter about my age, and the fact that I'm engaged and have my own house proves that I am more than capable, and your showing that you are too. They will be proud of you hun! And like buzzzybee said, youve got to think about you and your lo first, and you only get one life, live it too the max!

Cxxx

I think a letter could be a lovely idea. You can put down everything you want to say without being interupted and they can take time to absorb it.

Perhaps their reaction will be different this time around as well? You have already shown you are a fab mum who is carrying on with her dreams and they have already got used to the idea of you being a mum. Another one wont be quite such the same surprise maybe?

I think you are fantastic being a mum and carrying on with uni. I have a ds and am pregnant again (im 26 now) and have nearly finished my phd so slightly different situation but I really admire you.

xxx

Charlotte I must admit my first reaction was whoops! You are brave having that age gap but I'm sure at 20 you will cope. I am 35 and feel ancient in comparison. University feels like a long long time ago!

You are doing really well to be carrying on with your studies and I hope you don't give up after the second baby.

As for telling people - you are already coping being a mum and staying at University - I don't mean to kick you up the bum or anything but surely that means you can cope with telling your family about no2? I agree a think a letter is a good idea. I sometimes email my dh when we are arguing and he isn't listening - it really seems to help thinks sink in with him and it gives you a chance to say things exactly as you want to.

Good luck with it - let us know how you get on

'things' not 'thinks' obviously

I completely agree with Carey87. I couldn't have coped with a lo at uni (mainly due to my passion for drinking) and I am in awe of you doing it with a child. They should be proud of your achievements and assured that because you're doing so well you'll be just as competent this time!

I told my mother aged 27, with dh (df at time) with house and good jobs, and she asked if I'd never heard of contraception - there is just no pleasing some people but she's over it now and eagerly awaiting the arrival of our 3rd!

good luck
x

Wow Charlotte, you are a brave girl! Well done for carrying on with uni with a baba so far, sounds like you are doing brilliantly. Having two babies this young might not be what your parents or grandparents wanted for you because they love you, but it's your life and you're obviously an intelligent, capable person. You know you can't do anything about their reaction, you can only choose not to let it bother you. Focus on looking after yourself and your children, and raising a new generation of rather more accepting people! Good luck.

Thanks! I definately intend to carry on with uni right through to the end. Have even planned how im going to tackle my exams in the summer if the baby decides to arrive in the middle of them!Im writing a letter to my grandparents now. Im going to make it as positive as possible and hope for the best. Thankyou for all your advice, its been really helpful. Got my marks back for my coursework that i had recently submitted and i got a pass and a merit so im well chuffed. thankyou all once again. It so amazing to have people to talk to who understand and give sensbile advice! x charlotte x