Is it weird that I’m not scared about going through labor?

[Spockrates]

I’m 32 weeks pregnant and I’m not afraid about giving birth this seems to be a common fear that I am seeing a lot of articles on my pregnancy apps about but I don’t seem to have that fear? I feel pretty calm about it I have always had a high pain tolerance (maybe this will humble me?) I don’t plan on going with an epidural either also this is my first pregnancy so maybe the excitement of having my baby is overriding this fear that I’m supposed to have? Because I am so excited for the day my baby is finally here I can hardly wait only 8 weeks to go!!

I wasn't scared. The baby had to come out one way or another. What's the point of being scared?!

I'm pregnant with my first. I'm nervous but not scared. More nervous of consequences of post birth injuries than the actual birth if that makes sense.
I'm also a very practical person. Hypnobirthing affirmations aren't for me - my affirmations are:
•It's coming out one way or another
•Better to get it over with
•at least you won't be pregnant any more
•you got yourself into this, now get yourself out

I'll be taking medical advice and pain relief where necessary.

Same OP I wasn't terrified of labour.I was induced due to some complications. I was in 2 days before I had her in slow labour. I felt very calm. Sent my husband home on an evening so he could sleep (therefore be there for me not sleepy when I needed him) I rang him when my waters broke and the pain was bad. Then through labour I didn't panic and didn't realise I was pushing (I just thought if I bare down this pain isn't as bad, I've never had a baby before and wanted to do something about the horrible pain)

Looking back I'm thinking wtf... I don't know where the serenity like mood came from (I am normally a calm person on the surface but my mind is going crackers). I didn't know if it hormones or what.
I struggled with infertility, had failed IVF and this pregnancy was a surprise natural conception and I found the pain from that worse than the thought of giving birth.

I also had a positive mindset about giving birth, I would say I was more curious about what it would be like than scared! Two births later and I still have a positive mindset about giving birth and (if practical circumstances aligned) would happily have a third baby with no worries.
Like you, I have a high pain threshold (I have endometriosis to thank for that) and I feel that was probably a benefit in my case, but of course 'high pain threshold' (and giving birth) varies from person to person.

I remember posting on here pre-birth asking about hypnobirthing and saying that I was intending to have as relaxing a labour as possible. I was laughed at by many posters, but I'm glad my mindset wasn't shaken because I did have relaxing, chilled out labours with both of my babies (albeit they were slightly longer in duration than I would have liked, but I dealt with it)!

I gave birth to both of my babies in water (if you like a bath/jacuzzi/swimming, chances are you'll love the relief that water gives you, it takes the weight off and the warmth is soothing), used hypnobirthing techniques (highly recommend) and some gas and air towards the end (also recommend - if you decide that you don't like/need it it's easy to put down).

A couple of posters have likened giving birth to running a marathon and I'd agree with that. It's not exactly easy and it's certainly a workout, but the achievement that you feel at the end is unlike no other. If you prepare beforehand by equipping yourself with tools such as knowledge about the process, a positive fear free mindset and ways in which to cope (breathing techniques, warm bath/pool, massage, etc.) that's the equivalent of your marathon training.

If you haven't yet explored it, I recommend looking into doing a hypnobirthing course. It sounds 'hippy dippy' (or at least it did to me!), but it's science based and many NHS hospitals offer ante natal courses (mine did). I felt I learnt more about the process of giving birth than I did during standard ante natal classs (it was good to be able to recognise exactly what my body was doing and why, plus know how best to deal with it/what my options were) and the breathing and relaxation techniques were invaluable.

You make a good point there and I've just posted raving about hypnobirthing without mentioning this... I also didnt really get on board with some of the hypnobirthing affirmations, language or visualisations... but that's fine! I just used the things that I did find valuable (knowledge, general positive mindset, relaxation, breathing techniques) and discarded the rest. I just selected the tools I felt were right for my circumstances/birth.

I also hated any form of massage (people rave about 'light touch massage', etc.) and just wanted to be left alone to get on with it, I find I sort of retreat in on myself during labour and it's very primal (during pregnancy with my second child I remember remarking that I'd happily give birth on my own in a cave and I still stand by that feeling, the only reason I had my DH there was because it meant something to him to witness the birth and the only reason I had midwives there was because not doing so seemed like an unnecessary medical risk).

Hmm I was quite chill about it. Then I went on to have drip induced labours for my 3 children. THE worst pain ever. Plus I was high risk for cs so I was kept nil by mouth. Imagine tolerating that level of pain while absolutely starving for almost 48 hours. Something I’m glad I won’t have to repeat, ever.

Who shares birth horror stories with a woman 8 weeks away from giving birth. Ffs.

Good luck. Please update us on how it goes!

I was pretty relaxed too. I didn't want an epidural, then they talked me into one as my blood pressure was increasing. Then just as I was about to get the epidural I wasn't allowed one as they realised I had HELLP syndrome. Anyway it all ended up in a crash section, but I'm sure you will have better luck than me!

I did the opposite and was encouraging and kind on this thread (why be anything else!) and got told off that I wasn’t helpful! 😂

I figured there was no point in being scared - it was going to happen one way or the other and the overwhelming likelihood was that the baby and I would be ok. I found that comforting.

Be flexible and ready respond to the situation as it happens. All options open, depending on what is needed at the time.

You'll be fine and so will your baby.

I think it’s fantastic you have that mind set and I’m sure it will help - if you’re stressed your body is tenser. My mindset is that many many women give birth every day and then repeat the experience-if it was so bad why would anyone have a 2nd!

I had a really chilled pregnancy, did hypnobirthing, hired a pool and planned a home water birth. Baby had different ideas and was back to back.. No amount of comb squeezing or deep breathing could prepare me for the pain I was in! Ended up in hospital with an episiotomy and it was all very traumatic. But if it makes you feel any better baby is only 15 weeks old and I'm over it enough to still want another 😆

I think this is fantastic. The less fear, the better it will be. Some people have beautiful experiences. One thing I remember when I was pregnant, is the more scared you are the more tense you are and then the worse it is - which makes perfect sense. The more relaxed you are, the more relaxed your body is etc, etc
All the best OP!

I wasn't scared about giving birth and had good experiences with both my children's births. Both natural, with no pain relief. I never really had a birth plan, I was very much just see what happens and it worked out good for me. However this isn't always how it goes and sometimes you have no choice for the health of you or baby. I wouldn't get yourself hung up on not wanting an epidural.

I think, and I might be wrong, that it was implied in your comment that everything will be absolutely fine and that was considered to be unhelpful. Hopefully everything will be fine, but it’s probably helpful to plan for different outcomes and consider different options rather than just tell yourself that it will all go perfectly to plan.

I might be wrong though. I was fairly certain that I’d be having a c section at 32 weeks, so my experience is very different!

I wasn’t scared at all with my first baby. I just thought ‘it’s going to happen, I’ll just have to deal with it!’.

I was open minded about pain relief and only had a very loose ‘birth plan’.

I ended up needing an emergency section as I ‘failed to progress’ and my only moment of fear was being wheeled into theatre for the epidural, as I hadn’t factored in that this might happen. After that, it was fine.

I think some of us have brains that run through every fear and ‘what if?’ before a big event and others (like me) sort of shut out any fears as a coping mechanism.

I wasn't scared at all and luckily ended up having 2 smooth and speedy deliveries. I wasn't against pain relief but was pretty sure I didn't want an epidural and managed both on gas and air just fine. I went with the mentality of yes it's going to hurt but in the grand scheme of things it will be a small part of my life and I'll get through it 😅 I think that helped me to think like that and focusing on the baby at the end of it rather than the pain I was going to have.
Not going to lie of course it hurt and everyone is different but I hope you have a great birth 😊

@3luckystars I’m deciding against epidural because that is the one thing that does scare me having a needle put into my spine where there is a slight chance it could leave you paralysed when I heard that I immediately thought I would never have an epidural

I forgot to add in my post before I did have one of then best thing I ever did

Great to have a positive mindset and I hope your birth experience is a really positive one.

I felt similar to you, my first birth was disastrous due to pre-eclampsia, and every decision was out of my control completely. But ended with a lovely healthy baby.

My second was very quick, but unbelievably painful (big baby, tiny pelvis, no time for c-section), I screamed the place down, and I am not a screamer! But ended with a lovely healthy (big!) baby!

My only advice would be to remain positive in your mindset, but keep an open mind, rule nothing out!

That's the best way to be! I was just scared of the unknown rather than the pain. I didn't have an epidural either but found the sheer exhaustion far worse than the pain. I hope it goes well for you!

Hopefully it will go well for you. It's great that you're not going into it scared. (I was fucking terrified and I had an elective c section!)

However, do please bear in mind that it might not go well. No-one knows how birth will go, you can't choose to have a good birth. If it's not good, please don't beat yourself up or feel like you failed. All that matters is that you and baby get through it.

I wasn’t scared for my first. I was scared second time around however

No I wasn't scared and you shouldn't be either. Your body was made to birth a baby!