Is it weird that I’m not scared about going through labor?

[Spockrates]

I’m 32 weeks pregnant and I’m not afraid about giving birth this seems to be a common fear that I am seeing a lot of articles on my pregnancy apps about but I don’t seem to have that fear? I feel pretty calm about it I have always had a high pain tolerance (maybe this will humble me?) I don’t plan on going with an epidural either also this is my first pregnancy so maybe the excitement of having my baby is overriding this fear that I’m supposed to have? Because I am so excited for the day my baby is finally here I can hardly wait only 8 weeks to go!!

It's good that you aren't worried OP.

However in starting a thread like this you are inviting awful birth stories. I nearly posted one myself before I (in mumsnet terms) gave my head a wobble.

I would hide this post if I were you.

Good luck and I hope everything goes wonderfully for you. Enjoy your baby. Those early days are precious

If it was that bad the world would be full of only children (I had three😜). My mantra was this time tomorrow it will all be over........ 👶

I like this x

No, I don't think it's odd.

I don't think it even occurred to me until I was actually in labour that they had to come out.

First labour was a shambles btw. I've a big age gap. In spite of this, zero nerves about the second birth.. just wanted healthy babies.

More nervous about the impending terrible twos.. I think I'm still traumatised from the first go at that.

They are spot on. I shared and then felt bad afterwards bc we all have our own paths. YOU WILL BE FINE. You’ll be an amazing mum. Don’t worry about the birth. It is something you cannot control. and it will have to happen. You CAN control your mood, your response, etc by being calm and inviting the birth however it comes. Birthing, however it happens, is THE most amazing thing ever. No matter how many times you do it. It is just so special. And hard. But so so breathtaking. You’re NEVER sin a moment like that, ever, for the rest of your life. Nor should you be. My husband was in absolute awe both times… Made him love me even more for doing it so he didn’t have to, not that it was possible for him to… xx

I was never nervous as no point. You have no idea how it will be. I had one hard & long and one fast & barely pain relief. It's soon forgotten

I didn't even think about labour with my first, young and naive, wow I had a shock when those contractions ramped up !
Second time I had an elective c section so thought I'd got away with the labour pain part, baby decided to come early so I still had to go through it again 😂
Keep an open mind is all I'll say !!

I was serene and unphased by anything throughout my entire pregnancy, including the.birth. There must be something in maternal hormones.that produces calmness!

Good for you, I wasn’t scared either.
But I’m wondering why you have decided against an epidural before labour has even started? I would wait to make any decisions until you have all the information.

I was just as excited for my second labour so don’t let anyone frighten you, but do keep an open mind about the drugs because you have not experienced it before so don’t rule anything out. All the best.

It’s so different for everyone and with 8 weeks to go, other women telling OP how bad it was for them, isn’t really helpful although some seem to love doing that.

I would just say, don’t ‘plan’ to have no pain relief and just see how it goes. Many women who have a rigid plan that doesn’t work out can struggle with their feelings about that afterwards.

All the best.

I took the view that it was like climbing a long high mountain. It would be hard work, arduous, uncomfortable, but we do it for the end result, at which point the discomfort stops.

I was never out of control with pain. Just knew my body was doing it’s job. Stayed upright, walking about / in a pool at home.

One birth we had to transfer to hospital for ventouse. I asked for an epidural as lying on my back wasn’t good, epidural worked. All good.

Good luck OP.

I did this too whenever I felt anxious…”In a month’s time the baby will be here, it will be over.”

I was the same as you, OP with my first, zero birth plan, go with the flow, so excited to meet baby, and to be honest I did cope and didn’t even have gas and air (she was back to back and I asked my husband to kill me but that’s by the by 😂). I didn’t read too much about anything as knew it would scare me. And it served me well!

With my second for some reason I spent 9 months worrying about it. I think because labour with DD1 was quick I worried about giving birth before DH got home or in front of my 2 y/o. And I also knew what to expect which made me build it up in my head.

Actual labour with DD2 was magical tbh. 4 hours and homebirth. Again no pain relief just controlled breathing (and antisickness meds - I’m an emetophobe!).

Best wishes to you for the birth you want. Anything you need write clearly in your notes or make sure you have a birthing partner to advocate for you. Because in the moment, even with a positive birth, it’s very overwhelming. I actually felt like I was having an out of body experience almost.

No need to be fearful it's a natural occurance, we are made to give birth.4 children 3 home births no meds or interference etc. I looked forward everytime when labour started to just meeting my lil one for the first time and it's absolutely true in my case once the lil ones were in my arms pain is forgotten.

Haha mine was forgotten once the placenta was out! I never realised how big it was, it really shocked me it was like giving birth again 😅

I wasn't scared either OP, I believed I'd be fine and for some reason, equated it to running marathons which I'd some experience of!

And actually, it was like that. Very tough, moments of feeling like 'I can't do this!' but ultimately doable.

However, I also kept at the back of my mind that I didn't know what would happen, and I was open to what might. I'd encourage you to have that approach too - I think it's great to be positive but until the day you can't know how your labour will progress (I had relatively short labours, and even with my first, it took less than 4 hours from the time I reached hospital to delivery - that's very copable with, compared to days!) or what interventions might be needed.

Best of luck!

Can I have some of what you're on? I'm terrified

I didn't remember being scared or 'not scared' I just figured it has been happening for thousands of years and as I had never done it before I had no idea what would happen

Yes I knew the basics I just mean everyone's is different so I would have made sense to expect anything specific experience

I wasn't scared either, I had the mentality that she had to come out somehow and whatever happens it will be over in a few days and just got to get through it!

Ended up having a quick spontaneous labour in the birthing centre using a tens machine and bit of gas and air (can't say it did much, tens much better!) which was the best I could have wished for! I did read some horror stories but I do feel like you only hear the bad things when you read about labour, people don't tend to share the good side!

I felt exactly the same as you and my mother kept saying perhaps you should do some classes, etc. I kept thinking that my body was born to do this, I can do it. I signed a paper to say only gas and air (this was in Germany).
Well, turns out that there's a hell of a lot you need to know, I could have had hypno birthing classes, there's so much I could have done to prepare.
I ended up begging for an epidural but because I had signed paperwork to say I didn't want one, I had to wait a long time.
Unfortunately, the walking epidural didn't go in straight so I had one side numb and could't walk. I just laid down on a bed and didn't dilate enough so eventually had to have a caesarean after a really rough attempt at a natural birth that was horrendous.
he recovery was so much worse as I was completely drained and then recovering from major surgery.
It's great that you're not worried but I would plan ahead and keep an open mind about medication as the pain is like nothing you've ever experienced (coming from someone with a high pain threshold who can have an endoscopy without sedation!)
I have friends who prepared and absolutely smashed it with gas and air and hypno.

I wasn't scared either. What's the point.

I was a scared when my induction failed. The gas and air wasn't working for the balloon and I didn't want a c section. That fear was real 😂

Ended up with a c section and planning another one!

Fear (and uninformed interventions) are the main causes of painful and traumatic labour.
I did my hypnobirthing course and learnt every thing I could so I knew what I was happy to accept or refuse. BRAIN is very useful for this, even in an emergency situation so you feel in control - question everything!
I didn’t have a completely straight forward birth thanks to a late (and very wrong!) scan and meconium in waters - but I had my 8 pound 6 baby vaginally with no issues and easy recovery, just gas and air. I didn’t feel scared either which I really think helped, relaxed as you can is key!

I wasn’t scared either and had no intention of an epidural. It was hard work and bloody painful but I never felt any fear either time. I figured that millions of women had done it for millions of years and I was in the hands of the professionals.

I decided to not have one months before I had my son. I didn't want anyone sticking needles in my back. Ended up with a spinal though for post birth surgery 😅

I wasn't scared at all either and I had a brilliant experience despite induction. I managed to do it with gas and air and some paracetamol.
I am now pregnant with second and looking forward to doing it all again - am actually more nervous about the sleep deprivation in the first couple of weeks 😂

I wasn't scared the first time and maybe I should have been. I underestimated it. And had I been scared, I might have prepared myself more!

Strangely, I wasn't scared the second time either, even tho I was left a bit traumatised by the first and knew what to expect... I think it's biological!