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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Next to me crib? Partner says it's lazy!

64 replies

Butterflies12 · 19/03/2023 09:04

Hi,
I'm wondering if anyone has any advice about a next to me crib. I am 5 months pregnant and think a next to me crib would be lovely because you are close to baby, can't easily pick them up without getting out of bed and they know you are close. I'm also likely to have a c section so think a next to me would be easier to reach baby. My partner has said his sister is going to buy us a moses basket. When I said that was kind but I would prefer to choose myself and want a next to me crib, he said that they are just lazy and who can't be bothered to get out of bed and walk a few steps to their baby. He also said he thinks they sound dangerous. Has anyone got any advice/experience to share? It's our first baby so I don't.

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Cas112 · 24/03/2023 12:59

Moni81 · 19/03/2023 10:50

I'm sleeping in baby room for first couple of months ...with experience to be fair baby gets up a lot, my partner works I will be on maternity leave, so it's only fair to let him rest. I am 16 weeks pregnant and I got wooden gliding crib but that's for my living room, so I dont have to run up and down during day, just keep baby for day naps downstairs. If you buy any sort of crib, get it second hand as baby uses it max up to 6 months, you can buy them cheaply in great condition.

Please get a new mattress if you do this

Figrolls14 · 24/03/2023 13:16

Good god almighty.
please ignore him until such time as he has the experience to warrant issuing these wonder nuggets (ie until he’s personally done 50% of the night wakings with a new baby for a couple of months). In the meantime, you must do what works for you. probably will be a bit of trial and error, which you should should be allowed to go about without judgement. All the very best for your pregnancy and welcoming new baby 💐

Billydaffodil · 26/03/2023 23:17

Ask him if he'd prefer option A or option B:

A) get up out of bed, walk across the room and back again 6-12 times each night, every night for the next few months.

B) Not do this and stay in bed.

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/03/2023 23:22

I'd actually be a bit worried if my partner said this before the birth.

Lazy? Of you? He sounds very much like he's going to be one of those men who thinks you should do all the work, plus more, and he can say negative things to keep you in line.

Tell you what, get the Moses basket, but he has to agree it lives on his side and he has to get out of bed 10 times a night and fetch the baby to you. You'll be recovering from either abdominal surgery or vaginal birth, neither of which is a picnic.

Let's hope the baby inherits its IQ from you.

Zipadeebooyah · 26/03/2023 23:28

Fatherhood is going to hit this man like a smack in the face with a brick.

Tropicaliyes · 27/03/2023 03:30

Our son is due in July and we got our Next2Me crib delivered last week ready for the right time! My partner has never said anything about my want for a side crib, just asked if I had any ideas what I wanted and when I wanted to get it.. I decided since I’m now past viability point it’s best to at least have it here just incase instead or worrying if the baby comes early and we haven’t gotten ready yet!

May I also add, besides the obvious, what’s the difference between putting a Moses basket next to the bed or a next2me attached or near the bed? Clearly they are two very different products however unless his planning to have the Moses basket on the other side of the room (which is ridiculous) they will both be placed in a similar place (so not understanding how one is more lazier than the other) however a Moses basket doesn’t have a side that comes down to allow easier access to the baby whereas the side crib (especially Next2Me) has got a load of functions as PP have mentioned so kind of seems weird he would have a issue with the one that ticks more boxes than one that will be useless in no time and may not serve it’s purpose..

If his sister is already planning to get the Moses basket or has already bought it without your knowledge then like others said, still take it but put it elsewhere, otherwise if she insists on buying the crib but doesn’t mind which then maybe let her know your preference as she could just be getting it not knowing you would rather something else.

I hope you both come to a mutual agreement and if anything take him to a baby stop to see both of them in real life to see each function both of them provide.. like others said Next2Me cribs don’t have to actually be on the bed or even near the bed so he can still place it wherever he was thinking if that was maybe the issue? Otherwise maybe you need to put your foot down and say you have decided your getting it regardless of his opinions. Remember it’s likely you that will be doing all the work, not him so make sure you can get maximum benefit from whatever you choose if he chooses to not do his part.

HelloBunny · 27/03/2023 03:51

My baby had to be rocked all the time, my hand was just moving independently of me while I was half asleep. Luckily someone had given me a rocking stand for the basket.
Next2Me sounds great, especially with the incline. I’m sure my baby would have benefited from that, with colic. Let the sister get the basket, use it during the daytime.
Your DH will soon realise that the baby will dictate what happens...

endofthelinefinally · 27/03/2023 03:59

I had my babies 30 years ago and looking back I wish I had had something like a "next to me" crib. It would have made life so much easier.
Your partner is speaking from a complete lack of knowledge and experience.
Hopefully he will wise up a bit once baby is here and will be suitably embarrassed.
It will be useful to have a moses basket downstairs, however, it will only be useable for a few months, then you either store nappies or toys in it / put it in the loft / lend it to someone.

sashh · 27/03/2023 04:19

If he had a major surgery would he want to be getting out of bed every hour or so?

You might not be able to get out of bed, he is an arse.

Can you borrow one of those dolls that behaves like a baby and leave him home with it for the weekend?

Takeitonthechin · 27/03/2023 06:35

And how many times has your husband been pregnant!
Get what you want, sod him, tell him baby can be at the side of him and he can do all the night time soothing etc, bet he soon changes his mind.

happysingleversary · 27/03/2023 06:37

Babies want one thing
to be with their mother
to feel safe
otherwise they cry in waking and they wake frequently as that’s natural

why does he want to make life difficult for him, you and the baby?

Greenolivetrees · 27/03/2023 15:01

Please, please, please let him do all the night feedings?

gertrudemortimer · 27/03/2023 17:37

Next 2 me crib are great I had one. I found it very very difficult to use as intended after a section as I felt like I basically had to do a sit up in bed to get to the baby. I used it as a normal crib until my stomach healed. I really liked ours and felt like it was one of the few things I got my moneys worth from. Resale wasn't bad either.

Sneezymcsneezy · 27/03/2023 23:19

I just had the cot next to my bed with a slight gap in the middle so I can walk on between, to be honest it was fine as I didn't want to buy another product and our room is big enough. We could technically push it against our bed, remove the rail and adjust the height of the mattress to match our bed but it would have been difficult for me to get our. Having a next to me is certainly not lazy, it's popular for a reason and when you're in the thick of it, you'll sell your husband for anything that will make your life easier

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