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Original poster

Next to me crib? Partner says it's lazy!

64 replies

Butterflies12 · 19/03/2023 09:04

Hi,
I'm wondering if anyone has any advice about a next to me crib. I am 5 months pregnant and think a next to me crib would be lovely because you are close to baby, can't easily pick them up without getting out of bed and they know you are close. I'm also likely to have a c section so think a next to me would be easier to reach baby. My partner has said his sister is going to buy us a moses basket. When I said that was kind but I would prefer to choose myself and want a next to me crib, he said that they are just lazy and who can't be bothered to get out of bed and walk a few steps to their baby. He also said he thinks they sound dangerous. Has anyone got any advice/experience to share? It's our first baby so I don't.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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IncompleteSenten · 24/03/2023 05:52

He's being a twat.
Let's see how lazy he thinks it is when he's not had a full night's sleep for months.

Anything that makes nights easier is better. You don't get a trophy for staggering across the room in the middle of the night.

PurBal · 24/03/2023 05:53

I used a Moses basket on a stand next to the bed so I didn’t have to get out of bed. Baby wakes every 2 hours or so, no one wants to get out of bed that often. We used the Moses basket up and downstairs so was more convenient than a next to me.

PaigeMatthews · 24/03/2023 05:55

MyriadOfTravels · 23/03/2023 21:25

Then i'd tell ypur DH that its great and he will be able to get up every time during the night to hand you the baby (bfing) or feed to baby himself.
I mean it's only a few steps and it would be lazy to not do that right?
You, on the other side, will be recovering from abdominal surgery. You will need time and rest to recover. Likely to be in some pain and not allowed to lift weight.
So this is great. He can do all the night time wake ups for the first 6 weeks (and then youll share of course).

Perfect.

This

Standbyguest · 24/03/2023 05:56

HAHA see how lazy your husband feels at 12/1/2/3 and 4am. Hope you remind him of this in a few months time.

PaigeMatthews · 24/03/2023 05:56

Have the Moses basket in the living room for during the day.

Moni81 · 24/03/2023 06:26

@PaigeMatthews Moses baskets don't last as long as crib, plus I have dog, need something more sturdy. The one I got is nice white wood, has useful gliding motion and should whitstand my cocker spaniel getting too interested in baby.

Mykingdomforanap · 24/03/2023 06:31

He thinks It’s really lazy not to walk round your house 6 times a night after major abdominal surgery.

I actually think he sounds like a prick. This isn’t going to get better on 5 hours sleep.

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 24/03/2023 06:35

He has shown himself to be phenomenally stupid, hasn’t he? What a prick.

CatsTheWayToDoIt · 24/03/2023 06:39

Make sure the Moses basket is his side of the bed then let him do those three steps to get you the baby every hour. On a less bitter note what a plonker!!!! It’s not lazy to make life a little easier- it’s sensible!

Imnotachap · 24/03/2023 06:46

You need to start advocating for yourself before the baby comes - nip this sort of behaviour in the bud. Saying you'd be lazy and making ill-informed judgements about your choices is undermining you. This is your baby, not his sister's.

WonderingWanda · 24/03/2023 06:50

This hilarious. Please do come back when the baby is a few weeks old to have a good laugh with us about all the 'lazy' choices your partner inevitably be making due to the sheer exhaustion of living with a newborn. And ignore him and get a next to me crib, very sensible idea.

Binfluencer · 24/03/2023 07:09

Sounds like he just volunteered to all the nights feeds!

Seriously, is always such a judgemental wanker?

Bumble84 · 24/03/2023 07:10

Your partner doesn’t have a clue what it’s like to have a baby and it shows. It’s m sure he’ll change his tune when the baby arrives and he is more sleep deprived than he ever thought possible. Unless of course you are doing every single night feed and if you are then he doesn’t get a say in which crib you get anyway!

ThisIsWednesday · 24/03/2023 07:14

We only had a Moses basket and when we brought DS (3rd child) home DH placed the Moses basket on his side of the room. When I asked why, he shrugged and said, "I can get the baby changed if needed and ready for you to get yourself propped up and ready to do a feed."

How nice of OP's husband to offer the same, because that Moses basket will most definitely be on his side of the bed, right? I mean, he's not lazy is he?

ExpectingaRainbow · 24/03/2023 07:33

I was lucky enough to be gifted a ‘Snoo’ which is horridly expensive and uses smart technology to try and sooth your baby when it stirs….I last 2 weeks before I bought a next 2 me. For all the reasons listed by others, having to get out of bed to even look at your baby, get out of bed to lift baby out to feed etc. The baby slept better from the 1at night in the next2me and it’s so easy when they just need soothing as opposed to lifting out.

I have the side down always and will admit the first few nights I was panicky about the duvet getting into it but I’ve calmed down now and love having baby right there!!

SleekMamma · 24/03/2023 07:42

Oh wow he's in for a shock.
But I bet it won't be him doing the night feeds or much childcare at all really with that attitude.
Good luck.

PlainJanePerfect · 24/03/2023 08:07

And who are the lazy police keeping score on parents?

Tell him it's lazy to use a bottle steamer and he can hand wash them with boiling water.

Tell him disposables are lazy and he's on laundry duty.

Tell him buying premade clothing is lazy and for him to get the sewing machine out.

Tell him that he will only cook and mash the best organic produce.

Tell him to STFU

Whicmhschool · 24/03/2023 08:14

breakfastbagel · 19/03/2023 09:10

That's literally the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It's nothing to do with being lazy, it's because baby will want to be close to you, and after multiple, multiple wake ups, it's much better for everyone to do as little moving around as possible so they can get back to sleep quicker.

Trust me he will be begging you for a next2me when you're waking him up in and out of bed and walking across the room every hour.

Not dangerous in the slightest.

Ridiculous.

Let his sister get you a moses basket, you can use it downstairs.

This!

Weallgottachangesometime · 24/03/2023 08:19

Well I’m sure he’ll be happy to get up with the baby overnight then. As it’s so easy to walk to a baby.

I’d insist on the next to me if that’s what you want.

seriously though. This is worrying. The baby isn’t even born and he’s already saying one of your choices is “lazy”. Eeeek!!!

Bluesgotaclue · 24/03/2023 08:20

Hahahahaha. Please come back and update us when the penny drops for him.

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 24/03/2023 10:14

Agree the moses basket can be on his side of the bed then.

PedroPascal · 24/03/2023 10:19

What a total prick he is.

Good luck having a kid with him, you're going to need it.

Scottishgirl85 · 24/03/2023 10:28

I've had 3 c-sections and couldn't be on the same side of the bed as the next to me crib for a few weeks. It's very difficult to get in and out of bed after a section, so crawling from the other side is not ideal when crib is blocking the usual route! I'd still recommend the crib though, my husband enjoyed the baby on his side and then we swapped once my wound was healed.

trrk · 24/03/2023 12:54

Definitely go with whatever makes it easier for you during the night. It is useful to have somewhere for baby to sleep in the living room too (or even just to put them down while you go to the loo/answer the door) so I would also accept the offer of the Moses basket.

For the first few weeks you might not actually want the next to me attached to the bed as it also makes it harder for you to get out of bed.

I intended to use the Next to Me in the bedroom and the Moses basket in the living room but my baby slept much better in the Moses basket initially so we just used that for the first 2 months (on DHs side of the bed for the first 2 weeks while I was recovering from the C-section - he would pick up baby, change the nappy and bring her to me but also ended up feeding her sometimes as she had a tongue tie and wouldn’t latch). We did use the Next to Me after that until 6 months but I never attached it to the bed as I didn’t end up breastfeeding (had planned to but it didn’t work out) and it was easier to leave a gap so I could get out of bed easily to make a bottle.

Eatentoomanyroses · 24/03/2023 12:57

He sounds clueless. Let him get out of bed all the time then.
We had a next to me but didn’t use it attached because you can’t use breathing monitors with them attached the bed. It was still a very nice cosy crib and got lots of use, more than a Moses basket

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