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Original poster

Gender Reveal ruined

100 replies

ravegurlxx · 17/01/2023 19:40

So my husband and I were waiting until the birth for the baby's sex, because we don't want tons of blue or pink stuff before the baby's here.

Today, we had the 20 week s an and the sonographer was aware of what we wanted as she checked whether we wanted to know, and we said no. But... Halfway through she referred to the baby as 'he' only once, didn't correct herself or apologize.

My husband reckons it could've been a slip, but also that she was just referring to the baby the same way most people refer to dogs as 'he'.

Has anyone else had this? And were they correct?

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Summerfun54321 · 17/01/2023 23:59

The scenographer alternated between he and she at my scan - it didn't mean anything. Much better than saying "they" or "it".

MattHancocksWhiteBikini · 19/01/2023 09:47

Noodlehen · 17/01/2023 23:42

Exactly this. It’s ok for OP to stress about the small things as she is (assuming as nothing else mentioned) having a healthy pregnancy. She’s also allowed to post about her small stresses, she doesn’t need to hang out on miscarriage or infertility threads. I’m sure she’s aware both of those things tragically happen.

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Of course the OP has a right to post about her pregnancy and worries she has.

This said, many on MN use 'active' to browse and seeing the word ruined about a healthy 20 week scan does invite a dose of perspective. It's a site used by parents and a wide community of women struggling with infertility/pregnancy loss, if you post something tactless you can expect someone to respond pointing that out.

Original poster
ravegurlxx · 19/01/2023 20:38

Tbh I thought I misheard her as I'm partially deaf, but my husband confirmed she said it afterwards.

But it seems most women have had this experience, but that the sonographer used a generic pronoun, I'll. Hope it's that as I would like a surprise? Thank you for taking the time to respond though ☺️

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ravegurlxx · 19/01/2023 21:32

Thank you ☺️

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ravegurlxx · 19/01/2023 21:33

Thanks for responding 🙂

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ravegurlxx · 19/01/2023 21:35

Wow! Thank you for sharing

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ravegurlxx · 19/01/2023 21:40

I appreciate and understand what you have experienced. This is not my 1st child, but will hopefully be my 1st born if I can deliver it this time. I'm grateful I'm lucky, and am not feeling guilt over asking this question because someone else has had bad experiences. I get. I've had a stillborn and it wasn't an experience I want to wish on anyone. If anyone feels upset over my post then I'm sorry for them, but I want this one to be normal, and have 'normal' worries, which I am so grateful for.

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ravegurlxx · 19/01/2023 21:42

Thanks for your response, and I did say sex.

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ravegurlxx · 19/01/2023 21:44

Thanks for your response, but I think it's best you not assume something about me. I have had a stillborn before this pregnancy so I get it, I'm just glad I have a lot fewer issues this time than I did before.

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ravegurlxx · 19/01/2023 21:48

I appreciate your concern with my colour choice, however, this is not for myself but others who assume boys are blue and girls are pink.

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ravegurlxx · 19/01/2023 21:55

I actually find those boards really triggering as I have had a really bad experience myself, and I do t want to put myself through distress of remembering what happened. I think it's best you not assume that others haven't encountered strife in pregnancy because they're asking a 'pointless' question. I thank GOD that my pregnancy is going well, my perspective is very rounded.

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ravegurlxx · 19/01/2023 21:56

I have previously

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ravegurlxx · 19/01/2023 21:58

Thank you for your support, it is an ignorant comment.

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ravegurlxx · 19/01/2023 21:59

Don't get me wrong, I am eternally grateful. This will be my 1st surviving baby xx

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Whataretheodds · 21/01/2023 10:05

@ravegurlxx I'm sorry I made assumptions about you.

I can't imagine caring about a gender reveal if I had a healthy pregnancy, but if it helps for you or anyone else then not for me to judge.

I hope all progresses well for you and your baby.

Original poster
ravegurlxx · 21/01/2023 11:27

Thank you lovely, we are all different people going through different things in life. Xx

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secretllama · 21/01/2023 21:03

Me and my husband both left the room at our 20w scan saying you heard the sonographer say "he and his" too?
Was a girl! As everyone else said, it's just so baby isn't called an it.

FlumpFlibbertigibbet · 21/01/2023 21:12

Best wishes OP xxx

yousmellnice · 21/01/2023 21:14

They won't use they in case you think it's twins

yousmellnice · 21/01/2023 21:17

I would just like to say I really admire how you've handled some of the comments on this thread OP, it couldn't have been easy.

All the best

LadyGlitterSparkles13 · 21/01/2023 21:22

This happened to us at one of our late scans maybe 32 weeks. The sonographer said she just once, we didn't react in the room but made sure we both heard the same after we left. She was in fact correct but I still think it was just a slip.

MotherOfDragon20 · 21/01/2023 21:28

Well the fact that your asking here and are not sure what they meant by saying “he” means it hasn’t been ruined at all because you still don’t know the gender!

Midwife referred to my baby as “he” once… she’s a girl.

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 21/01/2023 21:31

Don't feel bad, OP. I've had a stillbirth and two miscarriages and when I hopefully get to my successful and healthy pregnancy, I think I might not want to know as I'll feel I might 'jinx' it if i know.
I know how the heightened anxiety feels when things have gone badly wrong before.
Wishing you all the best for your pregnancy OP and I hope its all plain sailing, and I'm sorry for the loss of your angel xx

EveryLittleWish · 21/01/2023 21:43

That’s quite common . It happened to my sister and she was convinced the gender/sex was ruined for her. Anyway she popped out a girl haha!

sidesplittinglol · 21/01/2023 21:46

My sonographer did the same and I did pull them up on it. She said she didn't want to refer baby as 'it' so just automatically said 'he'. I had a girl. Not saying it's a girl either. Just saying it's just an automatic thing for them to do.

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