Page 3 | Gender Reveal ruined

ravegurlxx · 2023-01-17T19:40:12+00:00

So my husband and I were waiting until the birth for the baby's sex, because we don't want tons of blue or pink stuff before the baby's here. Today, we had the 20 week s an and the sonographer was aware of what we wanted as she checked whether we wanted to know, and we said no. But... Halfway through she referred to the baby as 'he' only once, didn't correct herself or apologize. My husband reckons it could've been a slip, but also that she was just referring to the baby the same way most people refer to dogs as 'he'. Has anyone else had this? And were they correct?

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Prescottdanni123 · 17/01/2023 22:11

@Brackenfield

If they called my baby them/they, I would immediately ask how many babies am I having?

WimbyAce · 17/01/2023 22:16

I think mine slipped up as I'm sure she said "her hands" at one point. Was only me there due to covid so I didn't mention that to other half but baby was indeed a girl 😃
Also with our 1st she was on about the legs and said might be a ballerina......of some sort. And again was a girl.

Thesonglastslonger · 17/01/2023 22:20

You can’t expect them to call the baby it, that’d be weird

Truth is: you still don’t know the sex of your baby. You know that your sonigraoher said ‘he’ but that could just be what she says whenever sex is unknown, that’s actually traditional.

So yoy still don’t know

So nothing is ruined

Confusion101 · 17/01/2023 22:23

At 2 different scans, my baby was referred to as "he". One midwife explained she always calls every baby a boy because she has boys. Baby was a girl. Some people get rreeeeaallllyyy offended when the baby is referred to as it and some people have a heart attack if people use "they" because they think its twins 🤣 I defo wouldn't say gender reveal has been ruined. Congratulations.

DuchessofSandwich · 17/01/2023 22:24

I had scans every two weeks from 13 weeks on. I knew early on that my baby was a girl but the sonographers insisted on saying "he" so they wouldn't slip up at the next scan. It (saying "he) was policy at that hospital.

Onlinetherapist · 17/01/2023 22:24

@MattHancocksWhiteBikini so sorry to hear about your scan. I too had very bad news at the anomaly scan. It’s completely heartbreaking x

DuchessofSandwich · 17/01/2023 22:29

Brackenfield · 17/01/2023 21:33

Why can't the baby be referred to as "they" instead of all this mental gymnastics over he she or it

Because that could indicate twins-even less helpful.

Topbird29 · 17/01/2023 22:30

We asked to know the sex, and was told having a girl. And had a boy! So, even if you are told, there is never a 100% guarantee - which they say at the time.
In your case it sounds like the sonographer was using a generic "he".

Good luck with the pregnancy.

Topbird29 · 17/01/2023 22:34

@MattHancocksWhiteBikini

Topbird29 · 17/01/2023 22:35

@MattHancocksWhiteBikini - sorry - posted blank. Hope you are OK xx

Messyhair321 · 17/01/2023 22:39

I had this & they're were right

Lifeisrelentless · 17/01/2023 22:46

A sonographer referred to our baby as a he at our 36 week scan, well SHE was born last week, so I wouldn’t think too much into it!

Whataretheodds · 17/01/2023 22:48

MattHancocksWhiteBikini · 17/01/2023 19:55

This isn't a helpful reply, admittedly, but after a really catastrophic scan yesterday I wish I had this problem.

Perhaps more helpfully, the scan is for anomalies, not sex, and anomalies will be where the radiographer's focus was. If this is your only concern following the scan perhaps consider yourself pretty fortunate.

This.

Nothing has been 'ruined' because the sonographer didn't refer to your unborn child as 'it'.

Come and hang out on the miscarriage and infertility boards, OP, if you want some perspective.

sarahc336 · 17/01/2023 22:49

They often use the term he, it's preference for the staff rather than using the baby all the time

Wheresallthemilkgone · 17/01/2023 22:54

Mine said 'he'.. and it was a 'he'
I wouldn't read too much in to it though.

MichaelFabricantWig · 17/01/2023 22:56

MattHancocksWhiteBikini · 17/01/2023 19:55

This isn't a helpful reply, admittedly, but after a really catastrophic scan yesterday I wish I had this problem.

Perhaps more helpfully, the scan is for anomalies, not sex, and anomalies will be where the radiographer's focus was. If this is your only concern following the scan perhaps consider yourself pretty fortunate.

How awful, I’m so sorry x

OP really don’t read much into it x

Mulledwineandberries · 17/01/2023 22:57

🙄 try being given news at a 20 week scan that really gives you something to worry about.

Confusion101 · 17/01/2023 22:59

Whataretheodds · 17/01/2023 22:48

This.

Nothing has been 'ruined' because the sonographer didn't refer to your unborn child as 'it'.

Come and hang out on the miscarriage and infertility boards, OP, if you want some perspective.

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I am really really sorry for your struggles but the title of this thread is very clear. The OP was worried the gender of her baby had been ruined. Why click into this thread in the first place? As I have said on other threads before, there will always be some worse off than you. Trying to make someone feel bad for their worries or feelings isn't really helping anyone!

Nalaaslan · 17/01/2023 23:01

Yes this exact same thing happened to me. Consultant said he…then said ‘or she’. I assumed I was having boys, only to have two little girls arrive on the day ☺️

Rickandmortified100 · 17/01/2023 23:18

Puppers · 17/01/2023 19:47

And what would be the point of that? How unnecessarily argumentative.

It sounds like they just slipped up and then didn't apologise because they were trying to gloss over it on the offchance you hadn't picked it up. I get that it's disappointing but sonographers are human and make mistakes. They are primarily focused on performing a medical examination, not on providing a magical tailored experience for parents-to-be.

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I thought this too.

bellamountain · 17/01/2023 23:35

When the sonographer tells you there is something wrong with your baby, your world comes crashing down.

I'd be (very) thankful you have a healthy baby to look forward to.

Whataretheodds · 17/01/2023 23:39

Confusion101 · 17/01/2023 22:59

I am really really sorry for your struggles but the title of this thread is very clear. The OP was worried the gender of her baby had been ruined. Why click into this thread in the first place? As I have said on other threads before, there will always be some worse off than you. Trying to make someone feel bad for their worries or feelings isn't really helping anyone!

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I'm encouraging OP to count her blessings, as I do. Under no illusions about there being many many people worse off than me, thanks.

BubziOwl · 17/01/2023 23:39

I'm currently pregnant with a girl. At my 20 week scan, the sonographer told me that it was a girl but then carried on using he pronouns for the rest of the scan.

I guess it's just habits! 🤷‍♀️

Noodlehen · 17/01/2023 23:42

Confusion101 · 17/01/2023 22:59

I am really really sorry for your struggles but the title of this thread is very clear. The OP was worried the gender of her baby had been ruined. Why click into this thread in the first place? As I have said on other threads before, there will always be some worse off than you. Trying to make someone feel bad for their worries or feelings isn't really helping anyone!

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Exactly this. It’s ok for OP to stress about the small things as she is (assuming as nothing else mentioned) having a healthy pregnancy. She’s also allowed to post about her small stresses, she doesn’t need to hang out on miscarriage or infertility threads. I’m sure she’s aware both of those things tragically happen.

Whataretheodds · 17/01/2023 23:46

We'll agree to disagree.