August Due Date Crew (Thread 5)

[AnnieApple123]

We look like we’re heading towards breaking some records with threads here!

Newbies still most welcome to join in as always.

@sally16 There are two friends I’m dreading telling too. One was trying for a second when I was trying for a first. Still no developments more than three years on. She hasn’t talked about it in a long time and I hadn’t even mentioned TTC to her this time round. That could be awkward given that we used to borrow OPKs from each other last time.

@CityKity totally feel the same! I just think in no other world would it be okay for someone to rub their hand on your belly. Ive never asked a pregnant woman if I can touch her bump but I’m just not that kind of person at all 🙈 we really didn’t see the in-laws much before then it felt like suddenly they were swarming around and I just felt like some sort of vessel growing this ‘grandchild’ 🙄 It was the same when he arrived, they couldn’t have cared less how I was and would just about have pushed me out the way to get in and hold the baby. I got myself so stressed out about them visiting for hours on end and really put myself back recovery-wise, they didn’t once even offer to do anything to help, they just wanted to pass the baby about. This time I’ve already told my husband I’m being way more private the whole way through, they’re not touching my bump and it will be short visits only at first! Feel like it tainted the whole thing for me last time 🙈

@AnnieApple123 oh no :( it's so difficult isn't it! I really want to wait till Sunday for the scan pic but I think that would be rubbing it in 🤦🏼‍♀️ but I need to tell her before someone slips up at work and says something when she's back next week!
She's genuinely my favourite colleague:(

@sally16 last time my friend had just had her third miscarriage when I found out. I waited until 12 weeks then just texted it to her so she could do a false excited reply but let it sink in without having to face me. I felt it was best to directly text her as well though, my husband and hers are really close friend but I’d rather have told her myself. Luckily she has since had a baby but she said because of what had happened she’d only be having one child. I knew before that she’d wanted more than one. When I found out this time again I had the same dilemma again because I thought it will probably sting since she wants more but won’t have more. Then we were out a walk and she casually dropped in about the potential of future kids and said she’d like another one in the not too distant future. Felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders since it hopefully wouldn’t sting now! I’ll just text her it again I think

Glad I'm not the only one who doesn't enjoy telling people! Despite being married and living together part of me still feels like a teenager who's done something wrong in getting pregnant 😂
My parents couldn't have been happier to hear the news though but I still don't want to tell anyone else!

@sally16 i think no matter how you do it she will probably feel shit, obviously she’ll be so happy for you but sad for herself😢 how does she normally react to other people’s pregnancies?

Just realised the Twitter and Facebook logos at the bottom of each page, accidentally clicked on the Twitter one as I scrolled down and all of a sudden it was on my Twitter with a link to this thread about to tweet it! 😰😂

I don’t think it’s so bad when you’re further on and you tell people but telling my mum and dad so early I do feel like we were just saying ‘we’ve had sex’ 😂 I’m in my 30s, married, with a child ffs!

@sally16 id go the texting route as well if you can so she’s got time to process her feelings before responding. I’ve got similar anxieties, one of our friends baby passed away the day after she was born and I don’t know how we’ll tell her. We would have done a message into our friend group chat but that just doesn’t feel appropriate so we’ll need to tell people separately I feel.
the same happened to me last time. A friend had a MMC just before I found out and I waited nearly 20 weeks or something to tell her 🙈 I felt like it was just hanging over me all that time

I’m so lucky that I really get on with my in laws, and being a boy mum I try to remember that one day I will be the in laws that may come second in situations like this 🤣 But I did put boundaries in place because she has none, I think because we are so close she does genuinely treat me like her daughters…who she drives mad 😅
I had a call before you come rule, she didn’t the first time and she wasn’t let in and it felt cruel but also she didn’t do it again 🤷🏻‍♀️ I was breastfeeding, his family were all really weird about it as none of them did it and expected me to hide away to do it, and I didn’t want to be made to feel awkward because they felt awkward…so if they called before they came I could make sure I’d fed first, and would say when I was going to feed again so they could leave.
This time I might literally have a no visitor rule for a week, my little boy has also got to adjust and don’t want a revolving door. Plus I know it’s going to be so hard without my mum here xx

Aargh! 😨

Reading this I’m feeling like there were definite advantages to having been pregnant and given birth in lockdown last time. I never had to put up with any unwanted hands on my bump or unexpected visitors.

@Amme18 sorry you don’t have your own mum, that must be tough. That’s hard with the breastfeeding too. I was trying to give it a go last time alongside formula but I’m such a private person and couldn’t have done it in front of them and at times I couldn’t even get my baby back off them to give him a bottle so I felt I just abandoned the breastfeeding so quickly. I think the no visitor rule for a week is good, I think we will probably say that this time. My family were great and just popped in to meet him for 20 minutes, collect our washing etc but il be having another section and might not get home until a day or two after baby is born so 5 days of privacy really isn’t a lot to ask for

@Amme18 I lost my mum when I was young, which is part of the reason why I think I had never planned on having children. So I am also feeling like it is going to be quite hard.

I struggle with my MIL too, she is completely harmless but a bit overbearing, and I can't be doing with all the unsolicited advice.
It is so difficult isn't it?

Place making totally didn’t realise there was a new thread 🤣

@BCxx no that is really, really not a lot to ask for. I’m planning to hold off on visitors as long as possible. I might even seriously tell people I’m planning to recreate the babyminder period we had last time in lockdown as it worked so well for me. Being able to figure out breastfeeding in my own time undisturbed was a big factor.

I had some old distant relatives overseas I literally hadn’t seen in 10+ years who suddenly decided they wanted to do a video call at three days post-partum FFS. I think they honestly envisaged I’d be sitting serenely in a picture perfect nursery rocking my quiet calm little cherub in my arms. I had zero qualms about saying no and squashing that illusion flat.

Place marking x

Crickey I hope no one ever tries to touch my stomach, I'd flip. Not up for unsolicited touching at the best of times.

We haven't told a soul yet (apart from my trainer at the gym as I wanted to know what to avoid). This is the first and very likely only grandchild on both sides so I might consider doing something memorable when we tell them. Everyone knows I'm vocally anti children so it's going to come as one heck of a shock however we do it. But I want all the tests out if the way first. My partner has a seriously disabled sibling and having seen how the family have struggled to cope with this we are both very certain that we could not knowingly continue with a pregnancy with major known complications, hence one of the reasons I tried to get an early NIPT.

I dared to weigh myself this morning. I feel huge, I had to order button extenders on Amazon last week as none of my trousers fit, and my partner and I have spent hours putting together a selection of outfits for next week (we're away with friends), that hide what I'm convinced is a very obvious belly (it's not a bump obviously, I've just got a really fat stomach which I've never had before). But it turns out that I've not put on a single pound. I don't understand - I'm sure this massive belly is not all in my head!!

@overwork my belly is most definitely huge too! Showed my husband last night and his face just went 😳 I thought oh god it must be bad 😂 At least it’s the winter and we can hide under layers for another few months

@overwork I’m the same with also feeling huge but not having gained significantly on the scale. I’m 11+3 today and now genuinely more concerned about multiples than miscarriage.

@BCxx been thinking the same about it being winter and is being able to hide under layers. I don’t really feel I can go fully public until I have NIPT results.

So I panic-booked a private scan yesterday. Long story short, my symptoms had all but disappeared and I accidentally took ibuprofen instead of paracetamol the night before for a sore throat before reading about the side effects of ibuprofen.

Anyway, thankfully all was fine. Was 8+2 but measuring 8+4. Saw a little heartbeat. Think that will hopefully do me until my 12 week on Feb 8th. Might tentatively start to tell some close friends. I can see how people find private scans addictive!

Hello everyone! I'm about 10 weeks and counting down the days to my 12 week scan, it can't come soon enough!

@jollydollyirl glad to hear your scan went okay☺️ I wanted to go back the day after 🤣

@celandineyellow have you got a date in for your 12 week?🥰

@AnnieApple123 when do you get those results back? The only bad thing about the timing is the after baby bit when you’re still big but don’t want to look big anymore but it’s hot and you don’t know what to wear. I remember ordering floaty tiered dresses before the birth to try and hide what was going on underneath. I think that would be so much easier in winter if you could just put a big jumper on when people came round

@jollydollyirl congrats, glad the scan went well. My 12 week scan is 9th feb so I feel your pain 😩 I went for a very early one at new year and the lady had a deal on for a second one for £35 so I thought I can hardly resist that and booked another one for next weekend. If I didn’t have that to count down to the thought of waiting till the start of feb would feel like the longest time, my symptoms have vanished this week too and I don’t feel sick now but felt so sick before